Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Big Dumb Sex

As if on cue, like some Christmas anti-miracle, the day after I posted Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind as one of the Best Singles of 2009, I find that it's featured prominently in the new trailer for Sex and the City 2. This of course isn't the least bit surprising since it would've taken zero imagination to make that connection and use the popular and bombastic paean to New York to pimp something Sex and the City-related. It doesn't diminish the song in any way -- aside from making me suddenly think that Jay should've included a line about the horses in Central Park -- but it is a little amusing to conflate an urban hip-hop star's experiences all across the city to the adventures of four badly-dressed perimenopausal white women who for the most part wouldn't be caught dead south of 14th street or north of 86th.

You know something, though? Since it's the day before Christmas Eve, I think I'll pass on once again mercilessly mocking Sex and the City and its aging, ahem, "stable" of stars. Today, I'm outsourcing the ridicule to Opie and Anthony. Listen below to hear them make all kinds of fun of the last Sex and the City movie.



Alanna said...

Wow. They devoted 9 minutes too many to discussing this waste of $11.75.

My college senior thesis was about dissecting the "text" of Sex + The City and my proposition was that the narrative had little validity in a post-9/11 post-modern feminist NYC. My paper was published but apparently my thesis was dead wrong.

Apparently post-menopausal women do sell this lux-label brand of - for lack of better term - horseshit. I cant stand these crazy fashionista-wannabe bitches trolling around w/inflated entitlement complexes, standing in front of Nobu in their recently acquired "Bluefly"-purchased Louboutin's (shh no one will know they were discount- they still have the red sole!) waiting for a laid off FBF (Oh DABAGIRLS - Finance guy Boyfriend)to grab a few cocktails and a $40 gussied up California roll (brown rice,'s glycomic index is lower) and a quickie before he goes home to his wife.

Thank you SJP/Carrie for promelgating your retardation like straws for all women under 40 to grasp at when some dude leaves them or younger version.

But all actuality...does anyone EVER (EVER!?) want to see Cynthia Dixon fuck anyone? That shit is nasty.

Chez said...

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the next ex-Mrs. Pazienza.

Alanna said...

4th's a charm. Happy Holidays Mr. Malcontent.

Anonymous said...

Ladies, ladies....why the long faces?


...So, how are...things?

Alanna said...

The best thing about watching that trailer was not the trailer itself (holy fuckin' have we not seen this before in every episode?) but the HPV commercial that ran before it with an appropos message "Get the Facts".

Sure will.

Vermillion said...

I feel kinda bad about hating them. Well, not so much about hating Parker and Catrall, but I actually like Nixon and Davis. Nixon is a real good actress (when not slumming it for this shit) and really pretty.

Does it hurt that Davis is also a recovering alcoholic with possible sex tape, thereby tapping into the deep, dark caverns of my libido that go for such damaged goods? I cannot say.

Point is, while I do wish the entire damn franchise would fall into a New Jersey sinkhole and covered up by sewage, I kinda want the two of them to escape unscathed.

I shall turn in my DXM card in the morning.