"When I drive past a house during the holidays, and I see the smoke billowing out of a fireplace, I know, that inside that house, on that kitchen table, there's a turkey carcass, open-winged, open-legged, its body ripped apart and eaten by the entire family. If that turkey could talk, its last words would probably be, 'I'll see you all in hell!!'"
-- Bob Saget
The Huffington Post: Bob Saget: Why I Love Thanksgiving/11.20.09
(He even manages to make it through an entire essay without using the word "cock" once.)