Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Let's Hug It Out, Bitch



Today's thing sure to make you think somebody dosed your coffee comes courtesy of the "Christian Side Hug."

Because "front hugs be too sinful." And besides, "Jesus never hugged nobody like that."

There's some debate over whether the church youth group above is dead serious or is poking fun at the strict rules against actual human contact placed on Christian kids by teachers, Jesus Camp counselors, etc. It's admittedly tough to fathom the notion of Evangelical satire, but you can decide for yourself.

Regardless, Christian Side Hugging is apparently a legitimate phenomenon -- and this thing is just surreal on so many levels -- so sit back, watch, and let the batshit crazy wash over you.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

How do you even know about these guys? It's not like you hang out in their circles.

Chez said...

You don't think this kind of hilarity makes the rounds?

And who says I don't? I'm full fuckin' on for Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I saw it on HuffPo.

The "gangsta" theme makes it SO TIGHT dawg!

This one seems like something the Onion would do.

Ask yourself, WWTOD? If it matches up with your "idea" then don't do it!

Snath said...

I wonder what it cost them to have two actual black people stand awkwardly in the background.

Vermillion said...

I see som many things wrong with that, and that was before the "side hug" stuff came in.

I will side with it being a joke. If only for the fact that, if Fox News taught me anything, real fundie rappers wear suits and ties when they spit mad rhymes.

They bring the hot fire, then sweat they nuts off.

Chez said...

I don't know. I gotta tell ya -- after watching it again from start to finish, I think they're absolutely serious. It would require a subversive streak of gargantuan proportions to keep completely straight faces while making a joke this like, and sorry but I just don't think Christian Youth have it in them. Think about who we're talking about here -- the hands-raised-in-praise, shouting to the Lord crowd. If they were screwing around, those guys would at least be cracking a smile here and there.

The only other option that might make them all stay "in character" would be if they really, really fucking hate what they're supposedly mocking -- and once again, Christian Youth; I just don't think that's possible.

MrWonkles said...

I sense something in this clip, a presence I've not felt since...

Is a Christian rap group really droppin' dope rhymes to the slowed beat of the Imperial March from Star Wars?

*checks coffee*

kanye said...

Christian Sidehug? Wasn't he a designer on Project Runway?

Chez said...

Man, you guys are in rare form today.

ntx said...

A helpful "how-to" on Christian side hugging (complete with instructional illustration!) can he found at:
http://stuffchristianslike.net/2008/04/106-the-side-hug/

Quote: "In the side hug there’s no risk of two crotches touching."

Chez said...

Yeah, that's where the debate over the seriousness of this thing spawned because apparently Stuff Christians Like is a mildly satirical site by Christians for Christians.

Still, I think the rap is for real.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

I also think this is (um) for real. Kids of that age and type don't know from satire, sarcasm or irony.

Chez said...

Okay, kill me because I can't believe I watched this fucking thing again. It's that mesmerizing.

It's also real. What they're doing is rapping (horribly, painfully) the rules of this Encounter conference the kids are at -- namely no physical contact, because of course Evangelicals are so fucking repressed that the slightest touch can set them off, hence they fear and sexualize even the most innocent forms of human interaction.

But yeah, the point they're making is serious to them -- that hugging someone might keep your mind from being "pure" and might lead you into sin.

Fucking, fucking, fucking insanity.

Jester said...

I'm pretty sure I saw John Lithgow frowning in one of the crowd scenes.

bryce said...

This reminds me of the kind of thing that they did in youth group back when I was a Christian lad. I think the message is completely serious, but I think they're presenting in in a "fun" and exaggerated way.

From growing up around things like this, it doesn't surprise me in the least.

Jeff Wardell said...

My favorite line is: "I'm a rough rider, filled up with Christ's love". So let me get this straight, a regular frontal hug is bad, but un-protected gay sex is ok?

Lisa said...

Did he actually say "buying babies like Angelina Jolie"? Did he?

Jeremy said...

I made it to 1:23... I just can't take any more of that.