Friday, November 27, 2009

Canucklehead


Yeah, yeah -- I know. Picking on Sarah Palin is low-hanging fruit; it's been done to death, right?

The problem is, it's never more than maybe 36 hours before Palin says or does something shockingly stupid that just plain makes for good copy. I'm not talking about the usual Palin brand of dumb -- I'm talking about something that ups the ante and honestly cries out to be circulated far and wide, just because it's entertaining. At this point I look at the Palin Traveling Circus (read: book tour) the way I look at the Sex Pistols' 1978 tour through the Southern U.S.: It's a train wreck that you just can't turn your head away from no matter how hard you try -- only the Palin tour lasts longer and, if such a thing were possible, is filled with more outraged rednecks.

Today's highlight comes courtesy of a Canadian comedian who approached Palin at her stop at a Borders in Columbus, Ohio -- scene of these now-famous interviews with astonishingly uninformed Palin fanatics -- disguised as a Canadian conservative supporter. Mary Walsh is the host of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, basically Canada's answer to The Daily Show. Walsh approached Palin at the signing and asked her if she had "any words of encouragement for Canadian conservatives who have worked so hard to try to diminish the kind of socialized medicine we have up there."

Despite the fact that her handlers tried desperately to keep Palin from answering what they no doubt knew was a loaded question -- since they, unlike her, have at least the IQ of a Saint Bernard -- Palin as usual just wouldn't be told what to do. Her answer: "Keep the faith, because common sense conservatism can be plugged in there in Canada too. In fact, Canada needs to reform its health care system and let the private sector take over some of what the government has absorbed."

Now I'm not going to make too much of the fact that Palin was tricked by a Canadian comedian for the second time. (Remember "Nicolas Sarkozy?") It's easy to fall victim to a good joke. But the level of both laugh-out-loud arrogance and abject stupidity that it takes for someone in her position to heap criticism on and suggest the reform of another country's health care system -- it's just fucking mind-boggling. Obviously, her handlers knew that this was exactly the way she was going to answer, which is why they tried in vain to shut her the hell up. Mary Walsh said later that, in fact, questions of any kind were forbidden at the Palin book signing she attended, which isn't surprising since what this proves is that, as usual, Palin has a very specific set of talking points that she parrots without ever deviating from her script no matter the question she's asked; her answer to Walsh's question pretty much proves it when you compare it to an interview she gave Rush Limbaugh earlier this month in which she said those same magic buzzwords, "common sense conservatism," over and over and over again.

Needless to say, Canadians aren't likely to take the advice of any outsider as to the quality and effectiveness of their health care system, let alone somebody as patently ridiculous as Sarah Palin. Even the staunchest Canadian conservatives would be reticent to attempt to privatize a system that, according to a recent study, 90% of Canadians support and 82% believe is better than the American system.

But, you know, that's not gonna stop Palin from offering her sage advice to our neighbors to the north. As you're probably well aware, she's all about "going rogue."

Still, you Canadians had better watch out. You've just been warned. If Sarah Palin ever becomes, God-freaking-forbid, President Palin -- we're invading your ass and forcing you to do things the right way, the American way. Oh, we won't use our military to subdue you -- we'll just put our health care system in place and let that kill you off.

20 comments:

brite said...

If Sarah Palin ever becomes, God-freaking-forbid, President Palin
And as long as she continues to get coverage, be it good, bad or ugly, her chances to be on the next ticket increase with every story, blog and newsbite.Stop paying attention to this utterly vapid, incredibly ignorant waste of space and maybe she will go away.
ps. Mary Walsh is the shizz!

Jay said...

I saw this earlier somewhere else and one commenter nicely pointed out that like Russia, she can see Canada from her window. It, therefore, means that she has a grasp of that all important foreign affairs crap.

Rory said...

As a Canadian, believe me when I say I doubt we're going to change the core principles of our system any time soon.

Most Canadians that I talk to have certain complaints about our health care system, but they also look at the American system and cringe.

A Canadian in the movie Sicko summed up most Canadians viewpoint when he responded to the question of why he should pay for the health care of someone else with, "Well wouldn't you do the same for me?"

A common talking point from American conservatives is the wait times in Canada. Well of course their is wait times for non-life threatening procedures, the system is triage based, and it doesn't matter how much money you have, you have to wait your turn.

Tell me, which system is more ethical?

Nicole said...

She could see Canada from her window, if only she knew what direction to look...

Jadine said...

Our health care system has flaws but I would much rather know that if I'm sick or hurt that I will be looked after and not go into massive debt because I don't have a health care plan.

Oh yeah, please don't invade our asses, it sounds very painfull.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

Just one point: in Canada, health systems (note the 's') are provincial -- although you can get sick out-of-province and get treated.

But it is as if each U.S. State had its own system which has to come up to certain federal standards.

I just thought I'd mention that, given so many statements, everywhere, of "Canadian health system" in the singular.

Ryan said...

Man, I'd kill to be a fly on the wall with her senior staff whenever she's not around... "okay, let's brainstorm, what stupid shit should we be prepared for her to say at this event?"


And not to be a stickler, but...

"Mary Walsh is the host of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, basically Canada's answer to The Daily Show."

22 minutes actually precedes the Daily show by a few years (pre-Kilborn days ;) - a full 5 or 6 years before Stewart came on the scene)

The 22 minutes crew does some funny stuff - and the one thing I'll give our politicians credit for up here is playing along...

i.e. this clip of Mary Walsh with Jean Chretien - while he was still PM - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CptXVdqprE

SteveR said...

Just to set the record straight, The Daily Show is basically America's answer to This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

It's a timeline thing.

Sorry about that.

VOTAR said...

An absolutely true story: just last night I had a dream about Sarah Palin. In it, I was some sort of clerk or civil servant processing some sort of paperwork, and up to my little plexiglass window walks Sarah (even wearing the ubiquitous red dress suit and jacket).

It was apparently my job to review or grade peoples' applications, or it was some kind of test I guess.

The dream concluded with me denying or failing her after getting to the item on the questionnaire that asked how old is the Earth and her answer was "6000." I remember passing over the countertop to her a big science book as I started explaining about carbon-14 isotope dating methods, but then I woke up.

Chez said...

You touchy Canadians.

Sorry -- by answer I meant counterpart. I wasn't implying that one came before the other.

Anonymous said...

What happened the last time the Americans invaded Canada? Oh right, we beat their asses back and set the White House on fire.

I was actually wondering there for a while if George Dubya wouldn't invade Alberta for our natural resources.

Pres. Palin, do you have any words for what your plans are for Alberta?

Jeremy said...

Anon 3:43

Not that we wouldn't deserve it for being such douchebags around the world today...
But the War of 1812 was technically waged against your sovereign British overlords, not the modern self-governing Commonwealth that is Canada today.
And, you know... Britain was throwing their weight around, forcing US citizens into military service for Britain on the high seas... basically being as big a douche as we are in the world theater today.

Just, you know... just for the sake of clarity.

Peach said...

Would not trade my French healthcare for anything. Would not. America has a lot of perks. But holy hell, my last 5 years there were rough healthwise. And that is the wrong place to get appendecitis and staph infection...let me tell you.

P.S. Thank you Americans in Washington State for paying my bills. It turns out I didn't have 50,000 dollars just lying around and so rather than pay them, I didn't.

kanye said...

Anonymous @ 3:43,

Oddly enough, earlier today a Canadian journalist asked Sarah Palin about her plans for Alberta:

"Oooohhhh, I love Alberta. I'm planning on having her sing Respect at my coronation."

Anonymous said...

Being Canadian rules. :)

cousinavi said...

@ Anonymous

The attempted invasion and the torching of the White House were two very distinct and seperate events.
War of 1812, the Yankees were turned back from Mont Royal.
The torching of the White House was conducted by a group of drunken Irishmen known as the Fenians, who got boozed up one night and went looking for a plate of scrod. When they didn't find any, they did what any hungry drunks from Nova Scotia would do - they had a bonfire, sobered up and went home.

As for Sarah Palin advising Canuckistan on health care, I offer the following commentary:

Shut the Fuck Up, Palin, you Stupid Twat

In case the html fails:
http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/palin-advises-canada-on-health-care/

(Bonus: Feature a dancing Pierre Elliot Trudeau!)

Bill White said...

Chez,
With all due respect, you lie. Canada's Socialistic Secular healthcare is a total failure. Patients line up for months just to get a strep throat test. You just don't want to hear the truth that Sean and Glenn uncover every night. In fact, I just saw a FOX News exclusive documentary that exposed the failings of the Canadian healthcare industry. Several former doctors, nurses and paper-pushers talked about how a happy healthy child by the name of Nellie from Calgary waited in a five mile line to get to her pediatrician just to give her a checkup. She and her mama begged to get into the doc, but no one listened at the big gov't offices. Those mean Godless folks who run things in Canada told them to wait and shut up. To make a long story short, the little girl passed away - not from the freezing temperatures, but from the Godlessness that oozed from the big gov't officials. Do you want this happen here, Chez? I think not. We need to have market-oriented solutions to the healthcare system that Dick Armey and I refuse to access because we're he-men who hate doctors poking at us. The point here is that Sarah is catching on in Canada-the place where you even show one of these God-haters a gun, they soil their pants. Sarah will change America, Canada and the world with her common-sense, market-oriented principles. God Bless, Bill

Tracer Bullet said...

Weren't you, like, 6 in 1978?

Le Penseur said...

Is she throwing gang signs in that picture?

60ft6in said...

I visited Toronto in July 1989 to see six baseball games in the brand new Sky Dome. The Toronto newspapers front pages had blaring headlines about two women who had requested the government to pay for their third abortions. The Canadian health system at that time would pay for the first two abortions for a poor woman. By the end of the ten days I was there these two woman were granted government approval for payments for their third abortions. I thought the women were stupid to go through the massive publicity gauntlet to get these abortions for free. The hassle-free approach would have been to pay for the third abortions themselves. Surely the publicity given these two women would have discouraged other women from attempting to get a third abortion for free.

I read these third free abortion stories and concluded that the Canadian health care system was better than that in the United States. I am pro-choice on the abortion question. I am thumbs up a government to pay for the first two abortions for a poor woman (I don't know what the threshold was in 1989--perhaps $20,000 Canadian?). I would rather there be more abortions than more wars. I was in the U.S. Air Force for four years. I have more of a right to speak my mind than conservative religious draft dodgers. Yes, there was a draft in 1970 when I enlisted. The pro-life draft dodgers desire unwanted babies born in order for them to become cannon fodder. The poor enlist in the military because of economic necessity. Bring back the draft and all segments of American society can be represented in the military. Bring back the draft and tell me what the difference is between Vietnam and Afghanistan/Iraq. I know--the 21st century motto is we do deserts, not jungles.