Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Quote of the Week


"Governor Palin has been unbelievably conscientious and hands-on at every stage, investing herself deeply and passionately in this project... It's her words, her life, and it's all there in full and fascinating detail."

-- Harper Publisher Jonathan Burnham, on Sarah Palin's 400-page memoir, Going Rogue: An American Life, which will be released next month

Uh-huh. Sarah Palin -- Sarah Palin -- finished writing a 400-page book just four months after the deal was announced. This is the same Sarah Palin who can barely string together two complete sentences without choking on her own tongue. The same Sarah Palin whose discipline took her to five colleges in six years. The same Sarah Palin who once tried to have certain books banned from the Wasilla library. The same Sarah Palin who obviously thinks literacy is reserved for those elitist know-it-alls on the coasts, and not Joe Six Pack. She wrote a 400-page book in four months.

Stephen King can barely write a 400-page book in four months and that man's a machine.

I love that they really just expect you to buy this crap -- not just the book itself but the notion that you're not being utterly lied to when they (and she) look you right in the eye and tell you something you know 100% can't possibly be true.

Kids, the only way you'll know for sure that Sarah Palin was involved "hands-on at every stage" of this book is if it comes with a box of crayons.

20 comments:

miamiangel888 said...

Another gem by the master. Love ya Chez.

TK said...

Of course she didn't write it. She can't even spell "book."

But it'll make millions, unfortunately.

Dan said...

oh look, it's already available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Come-Forever-Jumbo-Coloring/dp/0736423990/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Cheers!

Chris said...

She can see a burning library from her house.

LaRoach said...

When I heard Sarah was going "hands-on" my first thought was that maybe there was a bottle of hand lotion and some tissues involved.

VOTAR said...

It's 400 pages because of all the extra layers of paper needed for the pop-ups.

NinjaMom said...

Sigh. Throw your rational thoughts to the side, please. The people who are going to buy this book are the ones who want her to reinforce their illogical belief system. The people who watch Fox news and complain that Obama is indoctrinating their children, when really, he's just not indoctrinating them THEIR way and that's the problem.

And maybe she'll learn how to read and then Bristol (or whatever her name is) might figure out how those confusing condoms work. Hint: they are not balloons.

turtledisc said...

Unless it's 400 very small pages and a very large font so it's one word per page.

Donal said...

I wonder if writing this book left a white streak in her hair.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

You'll notice the guy never says she wrote it; besides, he's utterly surprised she was THAT involved, to wit: she was "unbelievably conscientious and hands-on at every stage".

As for "It's her words,..." that doesn't mean she WROTE any.

Further and lastly, the editorial staff -- responsible for putting the opus together -- is left unmentioned (at least in the quotation shown).

So, the guy's a smooth talker.

I'm shocked, I tell ya, especially considering his patter might well be rear dustjacket commentary...

Anonymous said...

Illiterate? Write for free help!

cousinavi said...

Fucking thing is going to debut at #1 on the NYT Best Seller List and goddamn STAY there for months.
This vapid, know nothing insult in stolen Neimann Marcus wardrobe is going to outsell Beck, Coulter and O'Reilly combined.
She will forever after be introduced as "Best Selling Author."

Do you hear the hoofbeats?
AND HELL FOLLOWED BEHIND!

Stephen said...

If it's 400 pages of one sentence, you'll know she wrote it.

I'm going to see if I can get it banned from my library.

Fred said...

Cunt.

kanye said...

Speaking of cranking out verbage at a breakneck pace--I'm not sure if you've seen this yet but, The Washington Post is holding a contest to find America's Next Great Pundit.

"Here’s your chance to put your opinions to the test -- and win the opportunity to write a weekly column and a launching pad for your opinionating career!"

You've got to enter this thing. Aside from the potential comedic value and, unless the fix is already in, your resume dovetails quite nicely with what they say they're looking for.

Plus, you'd get to party with David Broder and George Will!

Time of your life, kid.

C.L.J. said...

I think you're being terribly unfair. If Santa Clause can deliver all those toys to millions of good little Christian girls and boys all over the world in one night - even the ones in houses without chimleys! - former Alaskan National Guard Commander-in-Chief Sara Palin could write a 400 page book in 4 months.

Lorna said...

I wonder if the publisher is going to send her out on interviews for the book? Those will be interesting to watch. I wonder if she's even read it yet?

Aconite said...

Who wants to bet that during the book tour, she calls it "Going Rouge" at least once?

Anonymous said...

Let's all sit at the bookstore, skim through it for a good laugh, then pan it on all the online book review web sites.

Anonymous said...

great bathroom reading - always there when you run out of TP!