Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Clueless Ambassador
So Sarah Palin spoke today at an economic conference in Hong Kong. I'm far too exhausted to get into this deeply right now, but I figured I'd trot out my two favorite quotes from the event -- both of which illustrate in hilarious fashion why Palin shouldn't be allowed to speak, much less do it overseas as a representative of the United States (unofficial or otherwise).
First up, this inscrutable gem:
"Personally, I’ve always been really interested in the ideas too about the land bridge. Ideas that maybe so long ago, had allowed Alaska to be physically connected to this part of our world so many years ago. My husband and my children, they’re part [unintelligible] Eskimo, Alaskan natives. They’re our first people, and the connection that may have brought ancestors from here to there is fascinating to me. Making our world seem a little bit smaller, more united, to consider that connection that allowed sharing of peoples and bloodlines and wildlife and flora and fauna, that connection to me is quite fascinating."
Sorry, what the fuck is she talking about? Palin's like that jock kid giving the history speech at the end of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. She always seems like she's struggling to come off as having an even slightly-above-average IQ, when in reality she wants nothing more than to just raise her fist and shout, "San Dimas High School Football Rules!" and be done with it. Incidentally, that "land bridge" I assume she's referring to (who the hell can tell?), isn't that something that supposedly existed long before Jesus's dad popped the Earth into being 6,000 years ago?
Moving on, Palin also took time out from making no sense at all to, of course, slam Barack Obama -- basically laying the world's financial crises right at his feet:
"I'm going to call it like I see it and I will share with you candidly a view right from Main Street, Main Street U.S.A... We got into this mess because of government interference in the first place. We're not interested in government fixes, we're interested in freedom. Now... a lot of Americans are asking: more government? Is that the change we want?"
Needless to say, this brand of authentic frontier gibberish didn't necessarily go over well with the audience Palin was speaking to, one member of which stated obviously, "As fund managers we want to hear about the United States as a whole, not just about Alaska. And she criticized Obama a lot but offered no solutions."
What the Hong Kong investors who hired her to speak probably should've understood from the beginning was that Palin can barely string two complete sentences together -- she had probably gotten her passport stamped by a foreign country for the first time two hours prior to her speech -- so there was damn sure no way she'd be able to make sense of the American or global economic situation. If this idiot passed sixth grade algebra I'd be shocked.
Then again, if you've ever been to a strip club you know that maybe the Asians picked Palin to speak so that they could put her six-figure fee into her garter one dollar bill at a time.
Oh yeah, and one more thing, didn't people like Sarah Palin spend the last eight years screeching about how traveling overseas and speaking out against the U.S. government amounted to treason? Does this mean we can finally put Palin up against a wall somewhere -- or maybe just refuse to let her back in the country?
Yup, I get cranky when I'm tired.