Monday, August 31, 2009

The Art of Whore


Wow.

You know, I'm not one of those comic geeks who lives and dies at the feet of Marvel and its storied history, but even I know what a really big deal -- and extraordinarily bad idea -- this is.

NPR: Disney To Buy Marvel for $4 Billion/8.31.09

How long before Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers turn up as comic characters, helping the X-Men fight the forces of evil and premarital sex? Remember what Disney did to Miramax back in the 90s? Well this will be worse.

It's like Oprah buying Epitaph Records.

Related:

DXM: Montana Über Alles/11.20.07

DXM: Kids Incorporated/4.24.08

(By the way, pay careful attention throughout the day to my friend Steve Bunche's blog, The Vault of Buncheness. Bunche is a former editor at Marvel and a samurai of all things comic-related. Can't wait to hear his take on this.)

10 comments:

Brian H said...

This is where I point out that Gangs of New York, The Royal Tenenbaums, No Country For Old Men, Trainspotting, and Pulp Fiction... are all Disney movies.

Jeremy said...

Geez... the one part of my consumerist childhood glee that didn't carry the taint of the mouse or the bunny... oh well...

Guess all those rodent droppings in that big box of comics I pulled out of the storage locker when I went home a couple years back were an omen.

C.L.J. said...

I have to point out that Marvel's been peppering its pages with celebrities off and on for years; for example, Shannon Elizabeth spent a weekend with Tony Stark in the first issue of The Ultimates. George Bush appears in a later issue, and Barack Obama teamed up with Spider-Man not too long ago.

Marvel can teach Disney a lot about whoring.

Izar Talon said...

No.

No!

NO!


GOD NO!!


Oh fucking SHIT! I AM a comic book geek. This is fucking HORRIBLE! Joe Qesada wasn't bad enough, with his ridiculous fucking edict that no one in Marvel comics could smoke anymore, robbing Wolverine and Nick Fury (!!!) of their omnipresent cigars, but now Disney is going to own it all??!!!

Fucking bullshit!

Yeah, MAYBE Disney will leave them alone. MAYBE they won't interfere. But yo know what? They are doing this so they van make cartoons with these characters, so they're going to cuddlfy them as much as they fucking can to make them dull and kidified to sell as much junk as they can to the lowest common denominator.

"Awwww look! Isn't Wolverine so CUTE!! No, he doesn't KILL people! He would NEVER do THAT!"



Oh God. And this is all beside the fact that I REFUSE to pay money to Disney. Even IF they don't destroy the comics, I won't pay a fucking red cent to the mouse shit factory.


Yeah, I know I sound like a bitter geek fanboi. So what? I AM. I'm not ashamed of it.

we8.us said...

It is good for many, but still sad for some

Disney:
The pioneer, is where cartoons came from

Marvel:
Sadly Stan Lee, the end of an error has come

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Here's the official "fuck you guys": (taken off a link currently on Fark)

"Ike Perlmutter, Marvel’s CEO, added: “Disney is the perfect home for Marvel’s fantastic library of characters given its proven ability to expand content creation and licensing businesses. This is an unparalleled opportunity for Marvel to build upon its vibrant brand and character properties by accessing Disney’s tremendous global organization and infrastructure around the world.”

Mr. Perlmutter will oversee the Marvel properties, and will work directly with Disney’s global lines of business to build and further integrate Marvel’s properties."

My sympathies to all who care.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

The 'duh' thought that follows just occurred to me:

People do sometimes talk about the disneyfication of something or other. Your fears are probably founded. In future, fans will distinguish between MC(BD)* and (AD).


*Marvel Comics (Before Disney), natch.

Alex said...

I honestly think it's probably not a huge deal.Disney owns Pixar and they've still been dishing out quality. I think they're smart enough to know when to leave another company be and just let the money flow in.

VOTAR said...

I dunno.

Jimminy Cricket vaporizing his enemies with lightning generated from rubbing his legs together, Mickey the Atomic Acid Spewing Rodent, that Little Mermaid chick defeating evil with her Bikini Shells of Justice,

I could see the appeal.

Jeff W said...

So Izar you're going to stop reading Marvel titles because Disney owns them now? You do know that Disney owns Miramax right? You know Miramax, the studio that gives us movies such as Pulp Fiction, Trainspotting, Gangs of New York, Kill Bill vols I & II, No Country for Old Men & There Will Be Blood and many other "kidified" movies. And besides Marvel has already "kidified" some of thier titles and/or started titles aimed at kids such as the Power Pack and Franklin Richards.