Monday, July 27, 2009

Quote of the Year


"And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride."

-- Sarah Palin, from her farewell address and apparently on acid

Please go away now, you moron.

(h/t Cesca)

(Incidentally, no, I didn't go with the instantly classic "would ya stop makin' things up" quote because it's honestly so fucking stupid it makes my head hurt.)

32 comments:

Suzy said...

exit stage right, douchebag.

Suzy said...

sorry, one more comment: "the frozen road competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty..."
WHAT THE HELL does that mean? is that really what she said? what language is that? how can anyone listen to this nonsense?
AHHHHHHGGG!

Kevin M. Hagerman said...

I would love to hear from someone who claimed to have had trade missions with Russia ALL ABOUT how the media just makes things up.

Tracer Bullet said...

Don't forget, she can also see Russia from there.

I used to know a guy who was a TV reporter in Las Vegas back in the 60s. He said the mayor at the time was really effective, but got so nervous giving speeches that he developed a terrible stutter. I suspect Palin has developed something like that. She's trying so hard to be a great speaker that she comes off sounding like an idiot. Of course, it's possible she's just an idiot.

Anonymous said...

What did she say? I can't understand a word she says! Did this make any sense to anyone?

Matt Osborne said...

As an amateur physician, my diagnosis is diarrhea of the mouth.

Steven Lloyd Wilson said...

Try reading it in iambic pentameter. This reminds me of one of those poems you're forced to read in high school English, that the teacher keeps insisting means this or symbolizes that. And after a while of trying to puzzle out the disjointed words and clusterfucked grammer, you realize that while some poetry is beautiful, sometimes a string of idiotic words with no surface meaning is just a string of idiotic words with no deeper meaning either.

supermaren said...

Maybe she's leaving because she's joining the Dadaist movement. It's a little bit like Rumsfeld's unwitting poetry ("there are known knowns and there are known unknowns...")

SteveR said...

What's an anagram for Denali?

di said...

OMG. I'm speechless. As she should be.

kanye said...

Becouse everybody knows that once you split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs, it's all sunny smiles and large, white cornfed teeth.

robpo said...

Excellent choice of quote. Didn't see that part in cable news replays, so to read the pristine beauty that carries me to the American dream, and the soldiers who protect my freedom, they would be unemployed if I didn't have freedom...

I can't help but love this woman. I gots palin-fever.

Sheriff Bart said...

This whole wonderful trip speaks volumes for Darwinism. "Mother Nature wins" indeed.
By the way, Bill Kristol just said he was going to e-mail Palin and ask her to 'do' Jon Stewart.

Stephen said...

Reading this makes my eyedrums bleed.

Deaddancer said...

I hate to say this, but this is the kind of stream of conscious (sorry for the comparison Mr. Joyce) regurgitation that will only energize the (unfortunately) millions of brain dead Americans who identify with Palin. It's the fact that they can't comprehend what she's saying (who can? Paging Dr. Leary...) that makes them assured she is their messiah in these dark times of "liberalism" (I don't know what it is with these side notes, it's not usually my shtick, but onto my main point of this aside, this is liberalism??) Anyway, I hope I'm being paranoid (as usual), but these goofballs fucking scare me sometimes.

Figgylicious said...

.....what?

Nate said...

I'm prolly not the first to let you know about this but there's a great rendition of this, beat style, by William Shatner on Conan.

Jen said...

I almost expected her to break into that bit from Eli's book in 'The Royal Tenenbaums'...the one about the loose weave of the saddlecock and the friscalating dusklight. Is she on mescaline, too?

Girl With Curious Hair said...

Just wow. This is a level of bat shit crazy that just can't be measured. I honestly don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Milton said...

the way this woman talks... it gives me the creeps! she is downright scary. if i believed in a god i would rate this woman as the antichrist!

Darek said...

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

Darek said...

Also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCdqRbWYWbU

Narbe said...

Is there really anything normal/sane to expect from this idiot? I really wish this would be the last we see of this moron, but unfortunately it's not. And that's all thanks to millions of dip-shit-kickers in this country.

Anonymous said...

That was just painful, how in the world do you get elected talking like that?

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmm sourdough. I need to go make a sandwich!

As for Sarah, she is just an older version of the South Carolina chick with 'the maps' and 'the Iraq' speech.

Deacon Blue said...

I don't know...this might make some great spoken word shit if you pair it up with the right kind of jazz in the background.

Might get a lot of finger snaps...

SteveR said...

Awesome, Darek. (The PF quote)

60ft6in said...

"What's an anagram for Denali?"

Nailed.

I have family that are all ga-ga about Sarah. If Palin ever became president of the United States I would move to India. Don't laugh. I already have a ten year visa for India and have been renting a house in Kulu/Manali since 1992 (that is my golden parachute!). My rent is $37 per month and I am paid up through the end of 2011. India's Bollywood politicians are way more stable than Princess Palin. Twice India Prime Minister Vajpayee visited Kulu Valley while I was there (the end of May in 2000 and 2001). You know you are in the right place when the Prime Minister vacations in the same area. No, Vajpayee did not have any Bollywood connections.

Elessa said...

Here is something to help with translation of her incoherency.

Cheechakos = summer workers from outside the state

Sourdoughs = long time, year round Alaska residents

jnez said...

This is best when read by William Shatner. YouTube it. Outstanding!!!

Alex said...

The Daily Show segment they did on her speech was pretty rich too. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm still astounded she has that many supporters...

winged unicorn said...

have you seen shatner reading this? deke, yes SPOKEN WORD ROCKS!
http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/shatners-palin-poem-rocks-the-web--496

yes leave it to commander kirk/denny crane to have the last word.