Monday, July 13, 2009

Grandfather Claws


Proof that you can't keep a good pimp down, Joe Jackson -- abusive father to Michael Jackson and all around swell guy -- is reportedly toying with the idea of trying to form a "Jackson Family Next Generation" using his late son's three children as singers in a new band he'd put together.

According to Britain's The Sun and a few other semi-reputable publications, Shameless Joe approached Prince Michael, Paris, and of course "Blanket" (who's obviously still traumatized from being dangled over a balcony as an infant), suggesting that the kids go on tour next year as "The Jackson 3." The Sun says that the rest of the Jackson clan -- or at least those not busy claiming to anyone who will listen that Michael Jackson was, in fact, murdered -- is livid at the thought of Joe Jackson essentially abusing and exploiting his grandchildren the way he did all of them.

Is this story true? Honestly, who knows -- but does it really sound all that far-fetched being that it concerns a guy who used his son's death a couple of weeks ago to pitch a new record label?

I think just to be on the safe side, an angry mob needs to corner Joe in an alley somewhere and take a dozen or so 2X4s to him before he screws up those poor kids even more than they already are.

12 comments:

The other Fred said...

"Hey LaToya? Searching for the real murderer? There he is."

celery said...

jermajesty jackson should totally join this new group.

or maybe i just wanted to write "jermajesty", which is my favourite celebrity's kid's name by a mile.

Ryan said...

Michael not using his own genes for those kids makes a whole lot more sense now.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Typo in "Britain", dude. Just a typo.

Boo said...

Shameless Joe. I love it.

If I am ever drunk in a gutter and find myself actually talking about this waste of fucking skin, I'm using it.

Doc said...

I know you must find it hard to resist another Cracked.com piece busting on CNN, but this is a twofer of MJ and CNN:

http://www.cracked.com/video_17596_absolute-low-point-in-cnns-michael-jackson-coverage.html

Stephen said...

STOP! The kids you save will be your own,
Now that daddy's gone,
Don't leave them with Joe all alone...

This guy needs an acid bath.

The Manimal said...

Joe Jackson and Ike Turner took the same talent management course, and there they learned that a foot in the ass is the best way to propel your client to stardom.

ZIRGAR said...

Michael Jackson died?

TheBeautyIn Life said...

Sorry to say, I didn't think about him like that, but yes PIMP is a good description, its sad, can't Joe Jackson just chill with the show business a bit

Anonymous said...

"According to Britain's The Sun and a few other semi-reputable publications"

Jackson3.com domain name is registered in Great Britain.

Coincidence?

Anonymous said...

This guy is seriously flawed!!!