Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thinking Outside the Inbox


It's been a while since I posted one of these, but this little gem just has to be shared. The magazine this PR firm is promoting is very real. This announcement popped up in my e-mail inbox yesterday.

"FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Phone: 646-XXX-XXXX

INDULGE YOURSELF WITH THE LAUNCH OF VAIN

A NEW CHIC MAGAZINE ALL ABOUT YOU

New York, NY (June 24, 2009) - VAIN Magazine debuts as the premiere source for the everyday woman. Catering to issues all about you, this magazine for ages 18-38 is the place for empowerment, inspiration, venting and tips that will guide you on your path toward perfection. The magazine highlights celebrities, career professionals, the latest trends in beauty, fashion, lifestyle, and delivers expert advice on everything the VAIN woman desires to know.

...

VAIN is the creative brainchild of veteran journalist Rachelle Gauthier. The former managing editor of RIDES Magazine and published writer saw a need for women's lifestyle magazines that embody the daily accomplishments and challenges of ALL types of WOMEN. 'I wanted to create a publication that celebrated uncelebrated women and provide a platform for young females to find inspiration,' said Gauthier. 'We're all VAIN in some capacity. We take pride in our appearance, profession, education, health, community and environment, and we invest time and money in things we deem most valuable. VAIN validates our efforts, and our advertisers recognize the value of our reader.' She recruited a team of seasoned professionals to help bring her vision to light with collective experience from Coach, American Airlines Publishing, StarZ Entertainment, The New York Times, Essence, the medical field and more.

With offices in both New York and Los Angeles, VAIN is currently available online and will launch in print this FALL 2009. The magazine that's all about you will be distributed across the nation at select specialty boutiques, on college campuses, on newsstands and at various VAIN-chic events.

Launched in 2009, VAIN is the leading women's magazine that captures the essence and core of all women, with a direct focus on self. VAIN applauds the appearance and achievements of these individuals who strive for success daily. The ultimate women's lifestyle magazine features everyday life issues, trends, fashion, beauty, cars, culture, politics, financial advice, food, exercise, music and celebrities, while encompassing real-life people, raw and untouched. VAIN women are beautiful, jugglers of sin and virtue. We are who we are... no apologies."


Now you know what to get the shamelessly self-obsessed woman in your life this Christmas. Oh, and guys -- if you stumble across a copy of this magazine on your new girlfriend's nightstand, get out while you can.

14 comments:

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Its sister publication for men, ASSHOLE MAGAZINE, will premiere later this year. ASSHOLE will be the leading men's magazine that captures the essence and core of all men, with a direct focus on self. ASSHOLE men are mesmerizing, jugglers of sin and virtue. We are who we are... no apologies.

As a self-absorbed jagweed of long standing, I can't wait!

Anonymous said...

Well, it's truth in advertising.

Che Grovera said...

encompassing real-life people, raw and untouched

Oxymoron alert! If they're raw then they've been touched...especially if they've been juggling "sin and virtue."

celery said...

"... that will guide you on your path toward perfection."

man, i don't envy the task of raising a girl in this culture.

Barbara said...

"Venting"? Former editor of RIDES magazine? Cars, horses, penises? Hell, I'm on board for issue 1, even though I am no longer in the coveted demographic. I even read the first issue of Oprah. can't condemn it until I've read a bit of it, anyway. Now I can condemn it.

Prophet of Ra said...

i bet you think this 'zine is about you....

Jeremy said...

Will every issue's cover feature a mirror effect, so the woman can completely inject herself into her shallow fantasy world every time she picks up an issue?
That would be cool.

L. said...

I'm waiting on the inevitable VAPID WHORE magazine. A girl's got to be honest with herself, after all.

But seriously, yeesh. I'll bet them money it doesn't capture my 'essence and core'.

Gabby said...

Oh yes, I simply can't get enough yearning for "perfection" into my life! It makes everything so much more EASY and FUN.

Shannon from Saskatoon said...

Hmmm...raising a girl. Seems to me you really need to focus on raising a decent human being. It's okay to start teaching your kid critical thinking skills from toddlerhood. At their level, and with them. For example, when they are old enough, share simple talk about the TV they watch, the good and the bad, and engage them in learning how to ask questions.

Sure, they will also be affected by their peers and their culture. But if there is one irrefutably good teaching a parent can give a kid it's to be down-to-earth and instill the habit of observing behaviors that are held by the masses to form her own opinions. To be aware of the underpinnings of mass culture by developing curiosity and providing resources to satisfy it, and ultimately to take the best and leave the rest.

A person who thinks for herself is not likely to be interested in VAIN as anything other than a symptom or a research subject, or a waste of perfectly good beer money.

Tim said...

They're still trying to launch new print magazines? *snort*

Tania said...

Who's going to read this - Gwyneth Paltrow?
Oh wait, she already thinks she's perfect...

winged unicorn said...

two new magazines devoted to women's cycling will also debut this fall. they'll contain articles on clothes, gear, nutrition, physical fitness and tips on shaving your legs.

[dreamy eyed] i love going to bike races and listening to the guys discuss the merits of nair vs waxing.

do you think i can get a column in VAIN 'crack whore on ice, a woman's guide to getting some asswipe to supply her with diamonds?'

Anonymous said...

@ Tim - I was thinking the same thing. Launching a new print magazine right now seems a tad masochistic. Either someone has a ton of their own money, or an amazing level of charm with the bankers.