Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My Little Ponies

I was gonna make one of the many possible obvious cracks about Sarah Jessica Parker's twins being born today -- since let's face it, the woman really is such low-hanging fruit on the joke tree.

But you know something? The picture to the left is funnier on its own than anything I could've come up with.

The New York Daily News: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Welcome Twin Girls/6.23.09

(For the record, I'm just trying to get Matthew Broderick to punch me.)


wpofd said...

(For the record, I'm just trying to get Matthew Broderick to punch me.)

How's that working out for you? Perhaps you should try mocking not his wife and twins, but his true masterpiece: 1983's WarGames

Alex said...

Broderick is probably laughing along with you. I heard they basically hate each other.

Heather Hansma said...

He would never hit you.
He might break a nail.

He'd get his manager to hit you.

Anonymous said...

Love the title.

Brenda said...

What do you have against SJP besides her horsey face? Just wondering if you're picking on her for anything that isn't completely superficial (really, I'm curious).

Chez said...

I really, really, really hate Sex and the City. It's also annoying as hell that Sarah Jessica Parker is crammed down the public's throat as some kind of gorgeous fashion plate when she's neither -- she's a gay man's idea of what's attractive in a woman.

Plus she's just an amusing target because she gets pissed when people poke fun at her.

Feel free to go to the following link and read through some of the past extended pieces about her and her awful show.

DXM: Shallow Grave

Deborah said...

Almost every time I see Matthew Broderick I think, "All he needs are a pair of dorky glasses and he'd look just like John Ritter's Sling Blade character."

spazmodeas said...

"she's a gay man's idea of what's attractive in a woman." As a gay man, I'm calling bullshit on that. Believe it or not, there are many gay men who give less than a shit about Sarah Jessica Parker and her alleged fashion status. (We're far too busy trying to figure out how to make Perez Hilton go away.)

Chez said...

Didn't say all gay men.

Ally said...

I hate Sex and the City with a passion, too, but I tend to lean off poking fun at someone when they've just hit a major milestone in life. Welcoming a baby - or two - is a big deal, a happy time. No matter how much I detest SJP and her poor choices, I'm happy for them today.

And I kinda like that geeky, nerdy thing Broderick's got going on. I totally loved Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Jeremy said...

Milestone? She outsourced her fucking womb! Being rich enough to hire poor people to spit out your spawn so you don't get any more stretch marks is, I guess, sort of a milestone in superficiality and selfishness. (Oh, I'm sorry... they had trouble conceiving again after the last kid... which I can understand, because if I was Matthew Broderick, I wouldn't want to sleep with her either. Poor guy.)

And yes... she deserves the scorn. Sex and the City exemplifies everything that is wrong with "entertainment" marketed to young women.

Deacon Blue said...

Chez, if Matthew Broderick hit you, would you even notice it?

Chez said...


If he hit me with his riding crop.

Anonymous said...

It only counts as a milestone in this case if you were the one getting knocked up.

Having a surrogate may get you a kid, but the only achievement is you had enough spare cash to throw around to say, "Hey, I'd like to buy a kid today! Honey, go spank off into a cup/Bend this surrogate over the table!"

Sorry, it's just the way I feel about it. There may be happy times ahead for SJP and her stable, but it doesn't make having a surrogate any more of an achievement.

VOTAR said...

You know, come to think of it, hiring poor people to spit out your spawn so you don't get any more stretch marks is actually a pretty brilliant idea.

*(note to self,
1. finish orbiting stealth space station,
2. steal moonraker shuttle,
3. see that some harm comes to Mr. Bond)

Jeremy said...

riding crop! LOL!

Oh man... but now I've got an S&M horsie play image of the two of them burned into my brain. Damn you Chez!