Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Home of the Whopper (and by Whopper We Mean Penis)


I wish I were making this up, but, no, this really is the international ad for Burger King's new "Super Seven Incher."

In case you can't read the copy at the bottom -- just count the double-entendres:

"Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick and Hearty Steak Sauce."

Can't wait for this campaign to dovetail into those TV commercials where the creepy "King" suddenly appears over the woman's bed at four in the morning.

Stay classy, Burger King.

32 comments:

VOTAR said...

She'll get that bright red lipstick all over it.





I hate when that happens.

Chez said...

Is that the color the escorts are wearing these days?

Fred said...

Like in the first Terminator movie, this long list of appropriate responses has appeared before me but its just too damned long to pick the right one.

That and I laughed so hard I thought I'd crap myself.

Jeremy said...

"But, it's so big... *giggle* how will I ever get my tiny little mouth around it?"

Ally said...

Oh, that's gross. Seriously.

Chez said...

Coming soon (no pun intended), Burger King's new spokesperson:

Sasha Grey.

VOTAR said...

If it's Sasha Grey, the ad would look a bit different.




And smeared lipstick would be the least of our concerns.

Deacon Blue said...

I'm just wondering when the corporate Id completely overrode the corporate ego and superego at Burger King.

You're a fast-food joint. Not a hedonistic pleasure pit or gladitorial arena.

Creepy, stalking kings. Giving blowjobs to sandwiches. "Angry" whoppers. What's next? The Sultry Chicken Fries? The Coquettish Chicken Sandwich? The Lecherous Fries? The Impulsive Shake?

Somebody needs to take their medication. Too much sharing of your emotions and desires, dudes.

Chez said...

Sasha Grey is the best proof of Intelligent Design I've seen yet on this planet.

There's no way that wasn't perfectly engineered by a benevolent and loving being somewhere.

Deacon Blue said...

Mmmmm...Sasha Grey. Just did a Google Image search. Wasn't aware of her, and that's the surest sign that my porn consumption has slacked off considerably, and that I might actually be missing something precious. Damn the need to buy clothing and food for a growing child. Damn it!

VOTAR said...

Setting everything else aside, that does sound like a pretty fucking good hamburger.

Chez said...

Sasha Grey is, no question, the dirtiest girl alive.

God bless her.

Roberto said...

This ad is perhaps second only to the Quiznos "Toasty Torpedo" ad, where an oven implores a man to "put it in me." Here's a link to it if you missed it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LQpRQh2KSQ&feature=player_embedded

Deacon Blue said...

Thankfully, I now have a second blog out there for my filthy streak, since I think Sasha's photos alone just inspired a couple of erotic fiction ideas.

God bless her indeed...

randy said...

all I can say is that is a magnificent sandwich! LOL

Chez said...

Oh now that's just cruel, Randy.

Matt Osborne said...

Coincidentally, did you see this piece in the NYT today?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/23/health/23well.html?_r=1&em

Mack said...

I don't understand the need for the word "away". It's not a fucking gun she's putting in her mouth. It's burger that she's about to blow. I've never given someone a blow job and said "I am going to blow your mind away." Not once. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

countryjoe said...

They should use Ron Jeremy as their spokesman in the commercials.

toastie said...

Is this an ad for Burger King's new Kids Meals to promote the new HBO series Hung?

Barbara said...

Was the headline a nod to Nathan Fillion's Dr. Horrible line, "The hammer is my penis."? I'm a nerd.

Elvis said...

Bill Maher's head just exploded. And by "head" I mean his head, where he keeps his brain. Sexual Innuendo about Bill Maher is an appetite suppressant you could bottle and sell for $60 a pop.

Suzy said...

this all started with subservientchicken.com. they've been doing this freakish shit for a few years and no one seems to care.

bottom line is, if you have a sense of whacked humor and love a little double-entendre with your double whopper, eat at BK. and if you like stupid ass crap coffee drinks and 'wholesome', family values fast food, go to mcdonald's.

at least that's how it appears.

Anonymous said...

I've got 8. Anyone want to date.

ZIRGAR said...

BK has had a rather ugly tendency to make its food appear anything but appetizing over the last few years, and this is the crowning achievement in that trend.

SDS said...

I had thought the same thing about those Quiznos Dirty Subs. The Hot Oven is a Boy, which is a nice change.

I do expect a porn parody posthaste. Waking up with the King. And the Queen, And the Knight. And an errant jousting ram.

Ida said...

This is another fabulous fast-food slogan. My last favorite was a Subway sandwich slogan( I think it was subway) "The Foot Long Yum Rocket", (gotta find the you tube link for that one!) It might even top the super seven incher. I don't know, they are both in the running for most disgusting sexual innuendo slogan. TV commercials, billboards and all. What will these bastards come up with next?! and who at the advertising network is not getting the bj's he needs?

cousinavi said...

In Taiwan, there is a goddamn McDonalds on every fuckin' corner. There are also BKs, but not in Taichung (pop. 1 million or so)...until a few weeks ago.
Burger King has returned - with a single location - to the densely populated industrial rice paddy I call home and I could not be happier about it.
I hate McDs with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.
Burger King may not be much better, but that phony smoky grilled flavor is a step up...and they have onion rings.
So, from my perspective, this ad does nothing to detract from my joyful motorcycle ride out to Fengchia to score a bacon double and rings.
They could dress up the King in assless chaps and have him waving his cock up and down the street, screaming MY BIG 7-INCHER WILL BLOW YOUR MIND! A1 SPOOGE SAUCE NO EXTRA CHARGE and I would still plunk down some heard-earned kwai for that sandwich.
You want classy? You're in NY, Chez...book a table at Emile's or find out where Paul Prudhomme is hiding these days. Me? It's either night market fried rice, dumplings and something that might have once been chicken...or Burger King.
(Also...do you happen to have the phone number for the apparently orally fixated shao jie in the poster?)

Anonymous said...

Now, no footlongs!

Yes Chez, I know they make you uncomfortable.

Barbara said...

I wanted to take 8" Anonymous up on his offer, but it was too soon after the Bill Maher reference.

And footlongs making Chez uncomfortable is a reference to The Simpsons. So happy my education did not go for naught!

kanye said...

Votar wrote:

She'll get that bright red lipstick all over it. I hate when that happens.

I think that I may have a solution to your dilemna, Votar. The answer can be found here.

Gabby said...

So coincidental...

(I guess someone has to keep Jean Kilbourne's series in business.)