Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Cut Below


From the Adventures in Inadvertent Tastelessness file:

Last night, for reasons that I'll go to my grave not fully understanding, I watched the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th on pay-per-view. Produced in association with Michael Bay (I'll give you a minute to groan) and directed by Marcus Nispel (or is it Sardo Numspa? Or maybe Nipsey Russell?), the new version of the slasher "classic" pretty much follows the same formula as the original, only with a lot more nudity.

Strangely though, despite all the color-corrected gore and gratuitous exploitation on display -- I mean, come on, a topless girl gets a machete through the head, but she's then lifted up so you can get one last look at her breasts -- there was one scene early on that I found more shocking than the rest. And the best part is that I guarantee you it's something that wasn't done intentionally. The producers probably didn't realize the juxtaposition of images they were putting onscreen. (And I guarantee you the film's core demographic of brain-dead teens had no idea.)

In the opening moments of the movie, the audience is treated to flashbacks of the deranged Mrs. Voorhees as she tries to kill the last survivor of the unfortunate counseling staff at Camp Crystal Lake, circa 1980 -- whom she blames for the death of her son, Jason. These scenes are intercut with the opening credits, which are shown on a plain black background. For the most part, there's nothing interesting about this -- until they get to the scene where the counselor turns the tables on Jason's mom and lobs her head off with a machete.

The camera then slowly creeps up on the headless body of Mrs. Voorhees, lovingly scanning it and the detached head.

Then the whole thing cuts to the name of the movie's director of photography, in large white letters across the screen.

And his name just happens to be?

Daniel Pearl.

21 comments:

Chris said...

Wow. Just wow.

Jen said...

The options here are both terrible. Either no one responsible for the production of that movie realized the relationship there, or they noticed and left it anyway. Either way, why was there not any reporting on this (at least in the entertainment press)?

Kricket said...

Oh, my. That is just so bizarre. Random. And creepy.

Heather said...

Wow...that's awful. You would think someone would catch that in post. I'd say you would think a screening audience would catch that, but they don't show credits at those, it just jumps right in.

Jeremy said...

yeah... Wow pretty much covers it.

gina said...

*cringe*

really? fuck.

The Army Wife said...

Dang.

slouchmonkey said...

Oh, no. Daniel Pearl?

Wasn't it an oar that did in Mrs. Voorhees and her head?

Barbara said...

So horrific I just groaned really loudly when I read it. No one caught that?

Amanda said...

I'm surprised that made it past whatever "editing process" these movies have.

Tabitha said...

I didn't think anyone else would notice that. Cheers to you Chez!

I found it to be a pathetic movie, though perfect for a teenage boy. A soft core porn flick with blood splattered here and there. It was way too long, though if you took out all of the titty shots it would solve that problem.

Chris said...

That can't have been intentional.

6-year old kid in my wife's class was trying to get his mum to take him to see "Drag me to Hell". His line was "It's just like Mission Impossible". You've got to admire his resourcefulness.

Deiskrad said...

I went to see this in the theater. I was annoyed that Valentine's Day was nearly here (the film opened on February 13th... duh), and noticed the very same thing. Up to this point, I had been wondering if anybody else had as well. It's good to know that at least one other persons mind was still working while watching this movie.

VOTAR said...

There is NO WAY they did NOT do that on purpose.


There was a reckless and unfortunate time in my life when, if I had happened to be making that sort of movie, and I had a director of photography named Daniel Pearl, that's EXACTLY what I would have done. Danny and I would probably have giggled maniacally about it too.

I know, I know. Hell... bus... seat saved for me... I know.

Alice said...

NUMSI!

omg, you just opened up a whole nostalgic can of beans that prevented me from reading the rest of what you wrote, and left me singing:

"I--I-I--I-want the kniiiiife. Pleeeeesse."

jesus, worst eddie murphy movie I can remember, so WHY does it stay in my brain???

thanks for that mind fuck, Chez. :D

Anonymous said...

Man, that's fuckin hilarious!
I mean, totally tasteless but what about that flick wasn't.

RottweilerTOM said...

hey Chez, leave Nipsey Russell out of this mess...

Suzy said...

yikes.

lakelady said...

OMFG

dammitjanet said...

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Mr. Controversy said...

At least when Michael Bay only produces a film, there's less of a chance it'll be balls out stupid. I sat through Transformers 2 yesterday, and it was the most unimpressive IMAX film since Poseidon.