Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What's at Stake

Buffy without Whedon?

Jesus, the vampires won't be the only thing about this movie that sucks.

The Hollywood Reporter: Buffy in for Movie Relaunch/5.25.09

But if you think that's bad, check out this. I get that Hollywood's been out of good ideas for years, but really, how do studio execs manage to keep a straight face while green-lighting stuff that reads like a South Park gag?


Ally said...

I never was a big Buffy fan, but I loved all the Blades, I kinda got into the Anne Rice Interview... and Queen.. thing, and I'm quickly warming to HBO's True Blood.

Which is just a roundabout way of saying, I totally dig vampires.

I missed your commentary on "Twilight", and I'm dying to read what you had to say about all the madness. I *know* you had something to say about it - what's the title of the post?

(Which, by the way, I hope it wasn't derogatory towards my boy, Patty. He's delicious. Seriously. My thighs go up in flames every time I hear his name.

Errr... Moving on...)

Anonymous said...

Buffy is too big to fit into 2 hours. Always was, always will be. That's one of the many, many reasons why the first movie didn't work. There's just too much to that world to explain, especially if they are going to base it on an entirely new set of characters. By the way, they have entire college classes based entirely on BTVS now. Florida State has one I believe.

paleotectonics said...


Battleship?! Candyland!? What's fucking next - LiteBrite:The Next Generation, or, Monopoly:Revenge of the Sneaker!?!?

I need a drink.

Oh, and I loved the original Buffy film, but that still had Whedon involved. We'll see what comes of it - darker might be fun...

Anonymous said...

Haven't they already made all of these movies based on board games before?

Candyland=Willy Wonka
Ouija Board=Witchboard
Monopoly=Wall Street
Operation=Saw 1-whenever the hell they realize it's been Cary Elwes the whole friggin time

B8ovin said...

"Twilight"? Little vampire on the prairie. While watching this "movie" (after school special) I got dizzy cataloging scenes that were direct ripoffs of other movies. Worse, were the forced plot points that were deliberately left hanging to beggar at least one sequel. I expected the movie to end with an announcement by one of the characters: "Next week on 'Twilight'..." followed by misleading scenes that promised dramatic tension. As for sex appeal, my wife and daughter inform me that Angel would mop the floor with the "Twilight" fop.

Sheriff Bart said...

Well... It's not 'Hungry Hungry Hippos: All the Marbles' but it will have to do, I guess.

Jeremy said...

Whedon washed his hands of the original Buffy movie too. The series I hesitated on for a long time, because of the movie and the fact that it came out at a time when I was actively giving up TV. I got into Buffy shortly after I started watching TV again, and for the same reason, because a cute girl wanted me to watch with her, and I really dig the TV show. It's hokey at times, but in a good way, and Whedon is a hell of a writer. But this, this doesn't sound good.

Blade said...

Ever since Whedon made that abortion that was the Alien movie that he did, I've moved from "i really don't like anything he's ever done" to "this guy is a giant douchebag, and frankly the only reason he seems to write anything is so that he can get all the young goth girls to suck his peen."

Chez said...

He created Firefly, which makes you guilty of blasphemy, sir.

Chez said...

Ally -- I didn't have anything to say about Twilight.

Garth did.

Ally said...

Garth was uncharacteristically restrained. I'm disappointed. Why have all the good times gone, my friend?

B8ovin - No arguing on how bad the film was, and I have no idea who "Angel" is. That said, I stand by my original statement: Rob Pattinson brings out all kinds of cougar madness in me, and it's totally involuntary. That boy needs to be under lock and key if he ever passes through my city and wants to get out alive.

Steven Lloyd Wilson said...

Regarding Alien 4 ... Whedon absolutely hated the finished product, so it's sort of hard to blame him for that. Here's what he said about it:

"It wasn't a question of doing everything differently, although they changed the ending; it was mostly a matter of doing everything wrong. They said the lines...mostly...but they said them all wrong. And they cast it wrong. And they designed it wrong. And they scored it wrong. They did everything wrong that they could possibly do. There's actually a fascinating lesson in filmmaking, because everything that they did reflects back to the script or looks like something from the script, and people assume that, if I hated it, then they’d changed the script...but it wasn’t so much that they’d changed the script; it’s that they just executed it in such a ghastly fashion as to render it almost unwatchable."

Master Mahan said...

I have a modicum of fondness for Alien: Resurrection, simply because it stars the Firefly crew if you tilt your head and squint a bit. Otherwise, Whedon can be hit-and-miss. On one hand, you have Buffy seasons 2 and 3. On the other hand, you have Buffy seasons 1 and 7.

Firefly buys a lot of forgiveness, but there are only two things I truly against Whedon. The first is his X-Men run, which was slow, dull, and finished 2 years late (yeah, I'm a nerd). The second is for being dumb enough to trust Fox executives again.

Izar Talon said...

Yeah, but it had Kitty Pryde involuntarily phase and fall through the floor when she had an orgasm.

Which I guess can be either kinda hot, or pretty creepy, depending on how you view Kitty.

Chez said...

I always liked Kitty. And since Ellen Page played her in X3, and I love Ellen Page, I'll just imagine her orgasming.