Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the quote, headline, and story of the week -- hands down:
"I went over to our nearest KFC a few minutes ago... and chaos ensued. Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken... or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?"
-- E-mail sent to Gothamist.com by a witness to the "Oprah's Free Chicken Giveaway" disturbance at 42nd St. and Madison Ave. in New York City yesterday
Business Insider: Oprah Sparks Riot at Kentucky Fried Chicken/5.6.09
Oh thank you, gods of good material. You are benvolent indeed. Although I'm not even getting near most of the potential jokes on this one. Truly, Oprah's Favorite Things, anyone? (Food in general; not necessarily buckets of chicken, you heathens.)