Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Jesus H. Chrysler


Ah, Florida -- where intelligence, like everything else, goes to die.

St. Petersburg Times: Florida Senate Approves Jesus License Plate/4.25.09

You know what'd be great? If it only took three screws to attach it to your car.

39 comments:

Benoit from Ottawa said...

3 screws!

Now we need a contest as to what a) letters or numbers left and right will actually get past the authorities, and b) which others it would be hilarious to see.

F.i. (and completely obvious, so solly)

JAY ZUS

David Davies said...

OMG - LOL

nan said...

GOING. TO. HELL.

But damn was that funny.

Bill Orvis White said...

Thank you for this, Chez. This brings tears to my eyes. It's so beautiful. I love the thought that my Lord and savior will one day be honored like this.
I pray that I can put something like this on my 150. Go ahead and laugh, you SPs. This is a symbol that gives you a code to live by and is proof that this is a Judeo-Christian country built upon free speech. Also, this proposal is bipartisan. It proves that the good people of Florida and the rest of the nation are God/Jesus-fearing folk. One day, this beautiful depiction will be in all of our public schools. Once that happens, everything will return to a strong Christ-centered nation.
What Would Jesus Do? He would be proud to know that he would join the magnetic "Support Our Troops" decals to decorate the back of a patriotic Hummer, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Yukon, Winnebago or Chrysler Town and Country vehicle that consumes a lot of patriotic fuel. The real Jesus Juice is oil. There is nothing more patriotic than that.
Thank you again for this, Chez.
GOD Bless,
Bill Orvis White

Steven Lloyd Wilson said...

What's awesome is that there is room for three letters on each side. "ZOM" and "BIE" ... then you have an official zombie jesus license plate. Can you get Florida plates even if you're not in Florida?

toastie said...

W82 DIE

(actually, I think I'll save that for my Terri Schiavo novelty plate)

Heather said...

Steven wins I think!

LOL....zombie Jesus...

-Alzeyor- said...

Oh, for Christ's sake.....

Fucking zealots.

Anonymous said...

NOM NOM

tobwot said...

If it only took three screwsHoly shit. I'm DYING here. That is AWESOME.

Chez said...

Cesca pointed out the sacrilicious irony of the fact that there's Jesus being tortured to death, while directly underneath it says "Sunshine State."

He also wonders if that big halo behind Jesus is really a Florida orange.

drater said...

When Texas secedes, can we get Florida to go too?

Anonymous said...

DAR WIN

sherry said...

Chez, that was my initial reaction: to laugh at how ridiculous the image looks right over the cheery Sunshine State motto. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

They should extend the arms so the screws go through the hands.

winged unicorn said...

i'm moving back north.

this makes the 'choose life' plates look palatable.

come to think of it...

can we combine the jesus and the choose life plates?

winged unicorn said...

anti-campaign speech:

and since we ALL know i'm one of the 'chosen people' if it passes, i promise to have KIL LER on my jesus plate!

kanye said...

They're putting an orange and Christ together? Sweet Jesus on a plate!


The Screaming Blue Messiahs--Jesus Chrysler Drives A Dodge

Indigotea said...

I like the letter placement, how they're centered around the design. I think my choice for a vanity plate would be B O.

Clint said...

I thought it was the Florida Sun.

Zombie Jesus? Done. http://www.flickr.com/photos/18200584@N04/3485984203/

Anonymous said...

TOR TUR

Anonymous said...

RAP 2UR

chenry said...

BRB D3D

Mas Triste said...

Be careful, if Florida secedes, you will have to take care of your parents.

Mack said...

Alright, Virginia, where is our Jesus loving license plate?

drater said...

WTF ???

Mas Triste said...

wtf? wtf?

drater said...

They just keep comin':

PIL ATE
JEW KNG

VOTAR said...

POP SCL

Doc said...

It would be better if it's was one of those pictures where if you move your head, you get Jesus Open Eyes and then back to Jesus Closed Eyes.

And man, when did Christ get pecs like that? He's ripped. I'd let him slam me. ;)

Lavi D. said...

G BUS

Chez said...

And I thought I was over the line. Sex with Jesus. That just rules.

Sheriff Bart said...

A55 RGY still works with this design.

VOTAR said...

There's a second coming joke in there but damned if I'm going near it...

rottnkid said...

Wait till the Jews ask for the Star of David and me for Malcom X..That license plate is going to start some shit....

justjustyna said...

This picture, 3 screws joke, and all of your comments make me see why the Lord will lay waste to the earth. Sun-worship is the devil's oldest tactic. Don't fall for it, there's nothing cheery when everything is revealed.

Chez said...

Now that just sounds crazy, Justyna.

Anonymous said...

SUN GOD

Anonymous said...

More six letter/number combinations:

SPR STR
666 BST
ANA RKY
KLU KLX
WIT PWR
JEW BUS (Best on a large van)
DED JEW
SUN GOD
UNR EAL
NOT REL
STL DED
2ND CMG
BGF OOT
BIG FOT
FAG GOT
GOT MLK
9IN NLS
ROM MAN
CRA ZEE
HOM LES
NOF AGS (Go Westboro...wait...)
RIC OLA
PDO JEW (Suffer the children)
PED OJW
LNG FCE
SCI NCE
MAM MON
SUC COK
DEW JEW (Do the Jew...)
HAN UKA
DRE IDL
MUS LIM
RAI LED
NAI LED
KIL LED
MOB BED
NOT WHT
NOT WIT
DRK MET
CHI KEN
FRE SH1
MYH OMY
HOR NEE
DUM JEW
RAI NMN
FIS HEE
BGJ OKE
BIG JOK
HOE BOE
DEM OCT
DMO CRT
DEM CRT
DMC RAT
SOC LST
FSC IST
CRI SIS
HNG JRY
HNG LOW
HAN GIN
NAK KED
MIK HEL
MIK HIL
HIT LER
NAZ EEE/ZEE (Or subtler, NAT ZEE/ZII)
WHI TEY
CRA KER
CRA CKR
CLD BOY
BOY TOY
JEW SLV
MYS LAV
APP LES (Like, "dem apples")
BUD DEE
CRW NED
CRO WND
CLD BOD (Cold body)
COD BLU (Code blue)
TER ROR
DED ROT
ROT TIN
ROT TER
DIE GOD
UNL CKY
BAD DAY
FUN NEE
SHE MAN
SHM WOW (He's a sham.....wow!)
HAH AHA
HUR TME
OWO WOW
PAI NFL
NOG AIN
GEN TIL
GEN TLE
BIG NOZ
ZYK LON (Just look up Zyklon)
BUR IED
6FT UDR
HAR HAR
PRO FIT
CON TRL
CNT ROL
VIR GIN
CRU SAD
ALL LAH
JIH HAD
HLY WAR
BOM BER
SUI CID
FOO LSH
DED SEA
DED SEE
PRI KLY (Nice crown!)
SRI OUS
SER IUS
BIZ NES
CHA CHG
DOL ERZ
BIG MNY
WHY GOD
CON MAN
GRE EDY
SER PNT
SRP ENT
SLI THR
PAS TEY
ENG LSH
BRI TON
DRK AGE
DRK AGS
MID DLE
JOY JOY
BLO ODY
KIL HIM
IAM DED
DED SUN
DWF STR
SUP PER (Last supper or super star reference)
SOO PER
JEW DAS
DAS JEW
AU JUS (Can you get it with 5 letters?)
POE JEW
POE SUN
SPE ARD
CRC IFY
HUM MOR
REP ENT (tongue-in-cheek or implying he should)
BND OVR
TAL PIP
UPY ORZ
SCR EWD
TEF LON (Non-stick crosses available!)
HEL BOY
LAW YER
LOV NIT
CHI LIN
CHL LIN
90D EGR
VRT ICL
STD TAL (Stand tall)
FLO TNG
MOR TAL
ORE ALY
OHH RLY
OHR ELY
RLY DED
RLY GAY (Double entendre)
POI SON


Maybe more later. Got to get back to work.