Sure Jason's back in theaters and making a bloody fortune (pun absolutely intended), but what's next in the Friday the 13th series?
My good friend Steve Bunche -- comic book artist extraordinaire and general pop culture ronin -- offers some truly inspired ideas, including a face-off between Jason and the barely pre-menopausal women of Sex and the City:
"The rest of the film would have Jason getting uselessly shot at by the NYPD, futilely attacked by the Guardian Angels and Curtis Sliwa -- whose head would be torn off and unceremoniously shoved up his ass -- and killing off the SEX & THE CITY gang and their assorted boy-toys one by one -- including a spectacular beheading during a cheesy Broadway revival of FLOWER DRUM SONG, in which Jason tears off the Samantha stand-in's head and dropkicks it onto the stage during the "I Enjoy Being A Girl" number -- until only the horse-faced Carrie stand-in (as played by a Sarah Jessica Parker lookalike, preferably a drag queen) remained."
Trust me: Read the rest of this. It'll make your day.
The Vault of Buncheness: Jason's Back, but What's Next?/2.13.09
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Next Friday
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2 comments:
Holy crap! I have avoided all the sequels to Friday the 13th, but if Jason's gonna off all those annoying twats, I am IN, brother!
Involving "Sex and the City" in a sadistic film would garner immediate gratification, but look at the big picture; it's not going to do a damn thing to debase the feverish hordes of SATC fans.
Think about it; with its stress on vapid materialism, what would be a fitting cut to the franchise?
The best route would be to have a Sex and the City sequel, but have it be derailed by a zombie apocalypse 5 minutes in.
Romero style
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