Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Some Things are Better Left Undead

How much do I love Alex Proyas's 1994 goth cult classic The Crow? Put it this way: The theme of the movie meant enough to me that not long after its release I had the image of the crow, wings spread, tattooed across the lower part of my stomach.

While I never believed that a sequel to the film that killed Brandon Lee should've been completely out of the question, I don't think anyone can argue that the series of pathetic offspring spawned by The Crow hasn't at any point come close to matching the power and beauty of the original (and not simply because of the real-life tragedy attached to it).

This tradition of literally adding insult to injury, though, apparently isn't stopping Blade director Stephen Norrington from making plans to reboot the Crow franchise.

As in remake the original.

While I liked what Norrington did with Blade -- particularly the casting of Stephen Dorff as an appropriately cool and malevolent Deacon Frost -- the disaster that was his big budget follow-up, 2003's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, is so legendary that neither the film's director nor its star, Sean Connery, has worked since. Needless to say, what should be an omen on par with the fictional crow itself isn't enough to stop Relativity Media from seeing the potential cash to be made trading on the lasting popularity of the original 1994 movie.

Bottom line, though: It's a terrible idea.

Lee's death transformed what would have otherwise been an artsy revenge fantasy into something more powerful -- imbuing it with an ironic emotional impact it otherwise wouldn't have had. To attempt to, pardon the pun, resurrect it just feels wrong. It reeks of the worst kind of cynical exploitation.

Brandon Lee died making The Crow.

At the very least, let the film be forever equated with his memory. Let The Crow rest in peace.


Harris said...

"How much do I love Alex Proyas's 1994 goth cult classic The Crow? Put it this way: The theme of the movie meant enough to me that not long after its release I had the image of the crow, wings spread, tattooed across the lower part of my stomach."

I can't . . . Really . . . Who . . . What?!

Chez said...

Well, that didn't take long.

randy said...

I say Amen!!!!!

Heather said...

WTF?! You're kidding right? This is some sort of joke? The original is perfect the way it is, there is no reason to "re-make" it. If you want to redo something, go for the sequels so that perhaps they aren't such piles of crap. There are so many things wrong with them that you lose count.

If they make this, I won't watch it, and I have a feeling that a lot of other fans of the original won't either. Brandon Lee is Eric Draven. Good luck finding anyone who comes anywhere close to filling that role the way he did.

VOTAR said...

Oh, really?

Perhaps Johnny Cash can provide the soundtrack.

You can hit the button on the stopwatch now.
How was my time?

Chez said...

If it would offend you, I'd be all for it.

Incidentally, I didn't hear you getting all pissy over the fact that NIN covered Joy Division for that soundtrack.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, "The Crow" is one of the most overrated movies of all time. Brandon Lee was a young and rising star, but didn't leave behind much of a filmography. If he wasn't Bruce Lee's son would anyone have taken notice of him as an actor? I agree the movie was "iconic" with lots of pretty images and probably a goth's wet dream, but hardly any stsying power.

Stephen said...

I'm on board if they cast Michael Keaton.

ace said...

I am nnot a goth person, but I loved "The Crow" just the same, one of my favorite movies of all time... Maybe they'll release this on the same weekend Will Smith's son destroys the "Karate Kid"... I look forward to Eazy E's daughter (of my Supersweet 16 fame) starring as Princess Leia in the "Star Wars" remake, The Jonas Brothers in the "Lost Boys" remake and hey, aww screw it, I'm just mad

Al said...

I'm waiting for the new Godfather I & II, they really need to update that franchise. How about the Jonas brothers as the Corleone family - that should pull in the younger audience.

Less of that icky violence this time around too. Instead of Sonny at the toll booth it'll be a tickle fight at a pool party.

Anonymous said...

No CHEZ, what YOU don't understand is that to NOT remake The Crow would require someone in Hollywood to take a chance on a NEW SCRIPT. THAT is what would be immoral and inappropriate! To force some poor executive to read a bunch of scripts by WRITERS (WRITERS! For god's sake!) and then decide which one of them is the best and then find a producer who would then find a director and actors and just create a whole movie out of thin air. Do you know how HARD that is? Do you know how much WORK it takes? This way they just have to take a movie that's not even 15 years old yet and then a director who has already made some comic book movies so he like totally gets comic books, and the thing practically puts itself together.

To try and force a Hollywood executive to earn his salary rather than spending his time taking sexual advantage of starlets is both unreasonable and inhumane. What are your petty concerns about ART compared to his real human needs and desires? NOTHING. That's what.

Izar Talon said...

I culldn't agree more with everything you wrote. Remaking The Crow is just... mind-boggling tacky. The main reason it was so powerful was because of Lee's death. Without such a tragedy attached to it, a remake would just be a really shallow, soulless grab for money.

And I hope there is a HUGE Internet boycott.

Rory said...

And NOW know this: It's a costume party, so you have to wear a costume. BUT... nobody better show up as The Crow! I'm serious. Every costume party there's like fourteen guys come dressed like the Crow 'cause they wanna look hot and hook up. It's lame! If you come dressed as the Crow, you're NOT GETTING IN to the party!

kanye said...

Just think, once you hit 60 and that tattoo has dropped down just above your johnson, you'll be able to add "Kilroy Was Here".

Anonymous said...

Not doing remake after remake would mean that the collective sphincter known as Hollywood would be forced to become creative and original.

Nevada Blue said...

I've never seen The Crow. I tried a couple times, but just couldn't bring myself to watch it. I've never really analyzed it; it just didn't feel right.

I won't see the remake for entirely different reasons.

Anonymous said...

I liked The Crow. I could care less about Norrington, but Bruce/Brandon Lee were both awesome.

Chez, fuck you. I can't tell if you're being serious or sardonic sometimes.

I mean that in the nicest way possible. ^___^

Sean said...

Chez -- a fan of The Crow and Rush! I'm developing a man crush.