Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Fraud of the Rings

Now I know why California approved Prop 8: They really take the sanctity of marriage seriously out there.

From the Huffington Post:

"A brief tease for the fourth season finale of MTV's 'The Hills' that aired Monday seemed to indicate that (Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag) have made their unofficial Mexican wedding ceremony a legitimate marriage in California. The pair were shown walking into a courtroom with Pratt's sister, Stephanie Pratt, while a judge smiled down on them from the bench.

'I, Heidi, take thee, Spencer,' Montag coos in the preview.

Despite all the official trappings, the tease of legitimate nuptials for the pair may be just that. A Los Angeles Superior Court official said Tuesday that MTV was recently granted permission to shoot in a courtroom in Beverly Hills, but it was done after hours -- and that's not one of their judges sitting on the bench in 'The Hills' footage.

MTV was granted permission to film 'what purported to be a wedding outside of court hours' at the Beverly Hills courthouse, court spokesman Allan Parachini said Tuesday. He did not know who the participants were in the wedding, but Parachini said court officials wanted the filming to be treated as a news event."

So to recap: MTV and these two oxygen-wasting attention whores can perpetrate a fraud, staging a fake wedding to create a phony marriage that every worthless fucking tabloid in America will eat up like Soma, and a California court is more than happy to be complicit in the whole disgusting thing -- but gay people who are truly in love can't get married.

The injustice is so profound that I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin correcting it.

Although I think beating Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag to death with hammers would at least be a step in the right direction.


Anonymous said...

Nah- Too much effort. Pelt them with fresh dog shit.

Until they suffocate.

Ike said...

If someone acts this out, would you be accused on perpetrating a hate crime?

And if so, could your defense be that Pratt and Montag are really just actors and not really gay?

Steve said...

"If someone acts this out, would you be accused on perpetrating a hate crime?"

Naah. You'd probably just end up working in a video store with Mercedes Ruehl.

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight.

You think that ACTING OUT or STAGING a marriage for TELEVISION for the purpose of ADVERTISING AND RATINGS has something to do with why or why not gay marriage should be allowed?

Usually I agree with you, but this argument makes no sense at all. "If people who lawfully can do it can act it out and pretend, then I should be able to do it for real."

That's the same kind of logic as, "If Al Pacino can pretend to sniff piles of cocaine in Scarface, I should be able to use and carry as much cocaine as I want anywhere."

Usually your wit is razor sharp, but here the argument makes no sense. Straight people and gay people can PRETEND to get married all they want. Let them.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

I think this was very touching. We need more fake marriages between plastic people, it will only highlight the value of truly loving marriages. Then we can take out the plastic and recycle it.

Chez said...

Anon --

I was waiting for this. Of course I'm not saying that because Hollywood shoots a scripted wedding for a movie or TV that it's offensive and means that anyone who wants to should be able to get married. The issue is that Heidi and Spencer's marriage is being sold to the American public as real -- complete with tabloid and newspaper articles, stories on ET and such, and appearances on talk shows, when any idiot can see that it's absolute horseshit. It's a sham used to push a television show -- and a California courtroom willingly going along with it just rubs me all kinds of the wrong way. These two douchebags (and they are sincerely the worst people on the planet) are making a mockery of the institution of marriage -- which wouldn't be a big deal except that there's a large segment of the American population which is constantly offering up the supposed sanctity of marriage as an excuse for why unions between gay people are an affront to it.

Dave B. said...

Shit likes me makes me wish I'd trained that army of ninja monkeys.

Or that I had a platoon of 9-iron-wielding midgets.

So hard to choose.

Ranylt said...

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Chez on this one.

Well said, C.

firedmyass said...

Do you know where they are? I got a blanket and a wrench.

Anonymous said...

REALY? sigh.