Monday, December 15, 2008

Face Book (and Movie)

When you think intrigue, excitement, passion and the playful thrill of watching an average guy pull off a clever caper that makes him into a multi-millionaire -- no doubt the creation of Facebook immediately comes to mind.

While most economically depressed Americans, even those who have Facebook accounts, would probably look at a huge silver spoon-fed tool like Mark Zuckerberg and want to punch him in the throat, Ben Mezrich -- the official hagiographer of the Ivy League douchebag set -- looks at him and sees both genius and an opportunity for personal advancement.

Mezrich, a Harvard grad, is the Brett Ratner of the literary world -- a guy who's made a small fortune off writing books which mythologize the rich kid rules-are-for-pussies spirit that, one would imagine, is still very popular right about now. He penned Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six MIT Students Who Took Vegas for Millions --which was made into the movie 21 and later was debunked as largely being fiction -- Ugly Americans: The True Story of the Ivy League Cowboys Who Raided the Asian Markets for Millions, and Rigged: The True Story of an Ivy League Kid Who Changed the World of Oil, From Wall Street to Dubai.

See a pattern?

Now Mezrich is apparently writing a book based on the wild and wacky events that led fellow Harvard alumnus Zuckerberg to create Facebook (Spoiler Alert: He came up with the idea to help him and his buddies get laid), thereby making himself obscenely rich while making the rest of us slaves to the need to seek out old high school friends we otherwise probably would've spent the rest of our lives not missing.

What's more, Mezrich's book proposal has reportedly already merged with a Facebook movie project that will be adapted by -- God, I wish I were making this up -- Aaron Sorkin.

If this whole thing succeeds -- in other words, if people want to pay what little money they have left to hear about a narcissistic frat-boy who's rolling in cash at the age of 24 -- look for the all-but-guaranteed sequel:

Space Balls: The Totally True, Not Embellished One Bit Story of MySpace Creator "Tom" and His Rise to Global Idol Status Among Teen Illiterates, written by Ben Mezrich and directed by Uwe Boll.

Dickipedia: Mark Zuckerberg


Mark said...

So the length of book titles should be directly proportional to the amount of tuition from the author's schooling?

Deacon Blue said...

A Facebook movie? *retch*

And I thought Hollywood couldn't find a lower layer of the barrel than they already had.

I, for one, as a recently registered new member of Facebook, resolutely resolve not to get sucked into it.

...but then again, I'm sure every person who ever sampled crack said the same thing...

maxpurr9 said...

can i just admit here that i do not have a myspace account/page/site--whatever you call it....and have never experienced/gone to/clicked on/??? facebook....
but then again, i also don't watch tv, read newspapers or listen to the radio (i don't exactly count npr as radio).
i do read this site everyday....

trish said...

Mezrich is a major hack but he sure has made a lot of money being one.

jrm78 said...

Mezrich's book titles are formulaic to the point where you could almost mad-lib them:

[verb] the [noun]: The [adjective] story of [number] Ivy League [noun] who took [place] for a [verb].

("verb the noun" sounds like a band name)

VOTAR said...

And check your local bookstore for my new opus,

THE COLON: A Punctuation Mark Consisting Of Two Equally Sized Dots Centered Vertically, Which Informs The Reader That What Follows Proves, Explains, And Enumerates What Came Before It, Which Introduces Logical Consequence, Description, Parenthetical Apposition, Definition, Subtitle, Separation Of Chapter And Verse, And Units Of Time Measurement.

Makes a great stocking stuffer.

$29.95 suggested retail price.

Chez said...

Yeah, I mentioned a while back that if I ever write a non-fiction current events book I'm gonna call it "Alarmist Assertion: How the Clarification Always Comes After the Colon" -- or maybe just "Exclamation!: Noun Clause."

Mozglubov said...

It makes me sad that Aaron Sorkin possibly got himself mixed up in all this uselessness. I enjoy his television shows.

Green Lantern said...

I am on my way to Amazon NOW to preorder "Exclamation!: Noun Clause."

Can't be any worse than "The Santa Clause," right?


Adrienne Saia said...

Let's take away alumnus credit where its removal is due:

Zuckerberg, like his fellow nerd gods, didn't graduate from Harvard.

I dated his best friend from Exeter; I now have proof that douchebaggery is contagious.