Thursday, December 04, 2008

The End Justifies the Mean?


There's a reason The Onion is The Onion.

Over the past few weeks, the online version of the brilliantly satirical publication has been quietly slipping stories into its "News Briefs" section which detail President Bush undergoing one form of physical torture or another. The newest one, published today, describes an incident (fake of course) in which Bush's tie gets caught in the trunk of the presidential limo and he's dragged behind the motorcade for 15 minutes.

The best part of this?

There's no punchline.

"KANSAS CITY, MO--President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes. According to Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, Bush's necktie became caught in the trunk of the motorcade's second vehicle at 4:13 p.m., shortly before the driver accelerated. The president was dragged down 175th Street for 26 blocks and through four stoplights, leaving a trail of blood more than a mile long. Upon hearing shouts emanating from behind his vehicle, the driver abruptly applied the brakes, causing the third car in the motorcade to run over the president's left leg at a speed of approximately 25 miles per hour. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital."

This follows other recent Onion stories which have Bush falling down the stairs of the Washington Monument, getting his arm bitten off by a crocodile, and passing a three-pound kidney stone.

Needless to say, the debate has already begun: Does this go too far? Is it hilarious or so black that it's out of line?

Feel free to weigh in.

I'm pretty sure you know where I stand, but in case it's not glaringly obvious: Genius.

18 comments:

Heather Hansma said...

Do I have to say it?
It is The Onion.
If they say it then by definition it isn't going to far.
It is actually impossible for them to cross the line. They never gave themselves any.

Steve said...

Hah! Love it!

Deacon Blue said...

It will cross the line when they have a story that an Onion staffer killed George Bush by shoving a rolled up issue of the Onion down his throat, like Ash tried to do Ripley in "Alien."

But short of something like that, that will have Secret Service agents visiting their offices for a "death threat," they're all good in my book.

dick_gozinia said...

In my opinion, this doesn't even come close to going too far. Long live the Onion.

Pants said...

Where do I stand?

(Imaginary) Front row centre, pointing and laughing that's where!

Anonymous said...

Well, if our freedom - one know, the ones that pretty much birth to this great country of ours - had not been all but taken away and trampled on after 9/11 I would say that this is hilarious, but since these are freedoms that we as American's are no longer able to enjoy under the current Bush dictatorship, I am forced to say that these jokes are done is bad taste.

(The one about him getting bitten by a crocodile is the best.)

Uncle Sam said...

as wise men once said, if you can't laugh at everything, you can't laugh at anything.

or something to that effect.

the only sort of jokes that I categorically can't appreciate are ones that run along the lines of

Q) Why are white/black/jewish/gay people stupid?
A) Because they're white/black/jewish/gay!

votar said...

Not that it's not funny to consider W being made to suffer in any small way for what he inflicted on this nation, but -- just to play devil's advocate -- consider the obvious discomfort we might be feeling if the story turned the tables:

"President-Elect Barack Obama sustained serious head, neck, and throat lascerations when his necktie got caught in his gardener's branch trimmer and he was hanged from a tree limb for approximately 15 minutes. Mr. Obama turned blue, involuntarily soiled himself, and was observed kicking and twitching while onlookers considered the best way to extricate him."



Somehow... not as funny.

Chez said...

If Obama turns out to be even a tenth of the dickhead that George Bush is (which would make him the second worst president of all time, incidentally) then I'll laugh my ass off at someone drawing imaginary pictures of his misery.

Although, the rednecks who hate Obama aren't clever enough to be engage in that brand of dark humor. (See bumper sticker a few posts below this one.)

Alex said...

The single greatest Bush related Onion article dated January 2001:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

Sadly, there is no punchline to this one either.

Mr. Controversy said...

So George W. Bush is the new Rasputin?

Anonymous said...

I think it's hilarious.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Yeah, I'm no expert on the Presidential threatening laws, so I'll wait until after Jan. 20 to weigh in on my thoughts as to why these stories are absolutely priceless!

Umm, hold on a sec ...

Mart said...

"They say" there is truth in humor. I feel like I have been dragged behind a car for the last eight years kicking and screaming with nobody paying attention.

So I go with funny.

ian in hamburg said...

Alex nails it!

It's STILL the economy, stupid.

Also ... if a freak like Larry Sinclair gets to run a smear campaign against Obama without landing back in jail --- he is still on the loose, isn't he? --- then the Onion should be able to keep on writing satire.

wickedwitch said...

Fuck'em if they can't take a joke. Serious words to live by and we all have been for the last 8 years.

Harris said...

Considering the things being said about a man who hasn't even taken office by people who are serious, no, this isn't going nearly far enough. Now, if they imagine him being raped to death by wild badgers, THAT would going too far. Maybe. I like the kidney stone best, but I won't be satisfied until we see Bush immolated in a grease fire or somehow getting his tongue caught in a garbage disposal.

belleshpgrl said...

If Bush doesn't think his torture policies don't cross a line then there is no way those awesome Onion stories can be considered in poor taste. However, Bush has proven to not have much of a sense of humor about himself- see Colbert's Correspondence speech. So I wouldn't be surprised if the Onion's staff suddenly disappeared. Until then, keep them coming!