Friday, December 12, 2008

Comment of the Week


"By 2010 all CNN shows will be anchored via hologram by Jessica Yellin, Will.I.Am and a revolving team of outsourced Indian correspondents. With the money saved by firing all on air talent CNN will be able to move forward with its plan to move into a new giant headquarters building affectionately nicknamed "Jon Klein's Penis Substitute." Unfortunately the network will effectively go off the air in 2011 with the death of its last viewer, a man who legally changed his name to CNNfan, formerly Joseph Yarmolinsky of Farmingville New York, who had been monitoring the network for the last 20 years from the basement of his mother's house. He will die of deep vein thrombosis during a 30 hour marathon of Sanjay Gupta's health tips (Gupta having moved to India to be an outsourced correspondent). Irony would suggest that he die during the segment on Deep Vein Thrombosis, but instead it will be during an hour on trans-fats."

-- Anonymous (If you're the author of this comment, feel free to step forward and claim responsibility.)

6 comments:

Mark said...

Can we start this over here too? Can you give away a DXM T-shirt?

I smell merchandising!

aaron said...

Chezgurt: Merchandising, merchandising! Where the real money from the blog is made! DXM the colouring book! DXM the lunch box! DXM the breakfast cereal! DXM the flame thrower (Inara loves this one)! And last but not least, DXM the doll, Chez! (pull string) Chez-doll: "Making a mockery of mockery!"
Chezgurt: Adorable.

Ben Fleming said...

Put that on the back of a t-shirt and I would buy that.

Anonymous said...

"move into a new giant headquarters building affectionately nicknamed "Jon Klein's Penis Substitute." "

So I'm going to go out on a "limb", so to speak, here and say that this building will become enlarged and throb when Anderson Cooper enters it?

kanye said...

Anonymous, that's just fucking funny.

Anonymous said...

Chez:

Kathleen Koch just got the boot as well.