Friday, December 12, 2008

42 in 24 Hours

How Votar spent Chez's birthday (by Votar):

Woke up at 8. Fell back asleep.

Woke up at noon.

Showered, dressed, drove around the corner to Starbucks. Bought $4 machiatto from the adorable Alejandra who is half my age but she's always nice to me so I will keep buying $4 coffee from her. We both know the score.

Drove to work.

Realized I left my phone back home, drove back.

Surfed the internet and generally zoned out for a few hours.

Lunch at Subway, turkey wrap. They're out of wraps, settled for bread.

Nap at home for a few hours.

Drove back to the office.

Surfed the internet and generally zoned out for a few hours.

Spent a moment wondering why I bothered to retrieve the phone earlier, as the only call I've gotten is from the girlfriend telling me her daughter wants us to make tacos tomorrow night so now I can't go drinking at happy hour like I planned.

Drove back home.

Ate dinner: soup in the microwave.

Fed the cat.

Played some video games.

Listened to the cat puke.

Hatched a plan for tomorrow to stop surfing the net and generally zoning out at the office early enough to go to happy hour anyway, and make tacos later even if I show up really drunk.

Fell asleep watching Cartoon Network, looking forward to the next day's $4 cup of coffee.


Anonymous said...

Two questions:

1) Where do you work? Don't show up until noon - or later - surf the internet all day, sounds like you don't do shit, I so want to work there.

2) What did you feed your cat.

nancy said...

I need that sign. I swear one of my cats is bulimic.

votar said...

Being self employed has its advantages.

And no, sorry, I'm not hiring.

Chez said...

And how is the pimpin' business going?

Anonymous said...

I do this EVERY DAY.

Without the waking up at noon and making the cat puke thing (usually it's the dog, if anything).

I even ate Subway yesterday! It was turkey! On bread (wheat)!

I also managed a wrap AND soup! No coffee though. :/

Anonymous said...

loser then and still a loser now

Anonymous said...

Adam seems lazier then the cat.

But at least he eats right, and though "conned" in going to Subway, it is a Turkey wrap. Was it a 8 dollar turkey wrap?

Good night

Anonymous said...

That was funny. Slight semblance of my own existance sans the girl....

votar said...

Subway is nearest. Although, even though it would be funnier to say that convenience trumps nutrition (and give the troll who pretends to know me some other excuse to opine about my life), but in fact given the available choices, I'd probably travel farther for something like a wrap with turkey than the usual carb and fat fare within blocks of my home.

I may be lazy, but it's a smart and carefully crafted form of lazy.

wickedwitch said...

Lazy is an art form of the highest sort. And you sir are at the top of your profession. Those wannabes are just jealous and jealousy is the highest form of praise. Now take a break from your art and clean up the cat puke.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

This is exactly the sentiment I had when I read your 'birthday chronicles,' C.

No offense, I love reading your stuff, you're a great guy, and you're fun to hang with and all, but reading a story about you watching a TV show about people doing nothing was about as interesting as watching flies fuck.

I'm glad you had a nice birthday and all, but please ... the next time you take a nice shit, feel free to keep it to yourself.

Big hug!!

P.S. What the hell, how come Votar gets to be a pimp and all I get is turning tricks in a Malaysian men's room?

Chez said...

You're high right now, right?

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Umm ... define 'right now.'