Let's see how long I can go without making a penis joke.1) Golly gee, I heard from this Mormon that it gets easier, but when Trig passed through my tooter it felt like his head was this big, doncha know.2) I know there are a lot of rumors out there in the liberal media about, uh, how we was makin' Levi get hitched with a shotgun. That's a total untrue falsehood. We was just usin' a little automatic, not much bigger that this, see?3) Sarah Palin describes her first meeting with the Russians....and the answer is 3. Not bad.
Looks like Sarah's about to demonstrate her skin flute technique.
"5 dollar footlonnnnngs...."
Because I bored and have some minutes to kill, I'll be your huckleberry.- "I was thisclose to the Preside...I mean Vice-Presidency."- Despite so much coaching, Palin still could not correct her Vanna White impression.- "Look at me, Tina Fey! I'm being all goofy again! Make more jokes about me! Keep me relevant!"- If you expect me to make a undignified reference to the size of a phallic object Mrs. Palin may have taken into an orifice, you are sadly mistaken, sir!- (Because something is off in my head): "Did you see that Salmon Heyek(sic) lady the other night? I took one look at her breasteses and went 'nom nom nom brrrrrpppft'!"- "Presenting the new 2009 Ford ThunderCougarFalconBird."- "Rg. Rrrrggghhh. Rrraaaggaahh. Riguh. How do you pronounce this?"- "So they had taken out McCain's soul and sat it on this shelf, right? And I was like...."- (Enter any sound byte from this woman. Laugh your ass off.)- I said I am not going to do any phallus jokes!- "This is 'Real America' over here. And over there? All those elitists with their book-learnin' and common sense and reasonin' skills."- Fine! You want a filthy joke? Sarah Palin discusses one of the many mistakesin the porno film based on her life. Says Palin "I could take a hell of a lot more pole than that poor girl playin' me. I spit out more hot salami milk than that sow!"Well, that kill the time. Laters.
Five Dollar!Five Dollar Foot Long!
Five Dollar Footlong
I think she wants a $5 footlong...turkey of course.
"My black Barack dildo is this long and I can swaller it whole you bet cha"
Man, I bet Todd hits that shit like a fucking caveman for breakfast, lunch AND dinner.
Five...five dollar...five dollar footlooooong.
"You must be this big to ride."
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children].
I got one: $5 dolla....oh.
That Todd is a lucky, lucky man.
"See this 'RG'? It stands for Real Good, which is what my odds are for bein' Babs Walters' Person of the Year, doncha know!""Ya, Joe the Plumber's pipewrench is this long...you betcha.""So I was tellin' Todd, 'Ya gotta go this far'...I mean, 'Drill, Baby, Drill!'"
"Unless I get out of the media spotlight, this is how much time I'm told I have left in my political career..."
"Let me illustrate the size of the average (R)ussian (G)onad as seen from Alaska..."
"This airplane is equipped with exits in the fore and aft sections..."
"How am I doing now that the campaign is over? Pretty good, although my shoulder feels a bit odd and my hair is full of licy tics!"
Damn you Subway!!! Damn you and your annoying, catchy ass commercials!!
..and the weekend outlook: increasingly liberal through the weekend, with scattered conservatism throughout the midwest, doncha know.
"Hokay, I know this is a family show, but how long do I have to hold my hands here before the graphics people get rid of the "O" and the "Y?"---hey, all the raunchier ones were taken---WZB
Sarah Palin demonstrates stance she had intended to use to defeat the terrorists with Jesus-powered karate chops.
Your Kung Fu is no good, dontcha know. I am from the North, and you have no match for my empty bridge technique!
"Before we kill the moose ..."
Gimmie an O. Gimmie an R. Gimmie a G. Gimmie a Y.What's that spell?
I don't know if you've seen this video, but it is unintentionally hilarious.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8&eurl=http://erin-obrien.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded
"You see, I've been watching this documentary series for a lot of years now on one of my personal heroes, Jack Bauer. Now there's a patriot for ya. He's the kind of guy who would take a terrorist by the head just like this. Then, snap! One quick twist and that's one less terrorist. Now, I'm not saying Barack HUSSEIN Osam...heh he...Obama is a terrorist, but I'm just saying he's not on our side. And you know, neither are the terrorists...
Sarah Palin keeps this blog relevant.
"Now... imagine me doing the same thing to your country."--"What the heck? Fail at Puppet? Golly! What do you mean by that? You think I should wink? Would that help?"--Even deaf people can understand Sarah Palin when she's being a complete idiot.----That's all I got for now. Writing words much of the day has drained my brain of... stuff.
Damn you Chez, it took me this long to catch the Hall and Oates reference. For the record, she's doing the Wasila Macarena, just instead of "Ayyy!" you shout "You Betcha!".
She has creepy zombie hands.
I though I was going to be so clever and witty with my five dollar footlong comment. Now like 8 people have already done it... Damn...Oh well.FIVE DOLLAR....FIVE DOLLAR...FIVE DOLLAR FOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTLONG!!!!(duh duh duh duh)
"And as ya' can see, these're all the states I'll be winnin' in the 2012 election. You betcha'."
Really blogging interwebz folks...stop giving this woman attention so she will go away.Keep it up and she may have a bid in 2010.
It's kind of abhorrent to me that so many posts cite a commercial for "their own" caption. I think it represents the thorough pervasiveness and base-singlemindedness of advertising. How can people not know what they need to survive any more? Anyway, equally abhorrent is my reptilian-brained caption:Spoken: "Obama won because he's hung like this." And the thought bubble to match the look on her face: "And boy would I like to play with it."
in soviet russia, moose shoot load into you.
"...and this is how I broke Ann Coulter's jaw. Bitch never saw it coming."
Someone please tell Todd Palin to quit logging in as "anonymous" and posting about what a "lucky man" he is and how much he likes to fuck his wife... It's ok Todd. We all know you are a manly, rugged, backwoods kind of guy. A simple guy who likes to hunt and fish and have Republican sanctioned hetero sex with his wife. A real "salt of the earth" "Joe Sixpack" average, carnal guy like the rest of us... the kind of guy who never ate quiche (but owns his own plane)... you know... just like the rest of us...
"He'll flip you, flip you for real!"
Tod's probably pissed that her penis is longer than his.
I kin haz one this big?
"So for the talent part of that election-thingy..."
that's one bird i would like to stuff
Beautiful Sarah agreeing with my beautiful Delores about how much man-meat Jesus provided me. God Bless you Chez. Also, I'm planning to come up to your city of sin to help y'all very soon.
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