From my e-mail inbox this afternoon:
Chez,
Re: Complaint
I demand your immediate moderation of your blog.
You must delete this from your blog now, and all comments that reference it immediately:
AKA "Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez."
That is not criticism, it is offensive.
I will check your blog within 24 hours.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
XXX XXXXX (Name Deleted)
CNNfan Site Administrator, "Max"
My response:
"Max,"
As per your demand, I have deleted the following line from the post entitled "The S**t Hits the Fan," published on November 10th, 2008:
"AKA 'Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez.'"
Also removed was a comment suggesting that Jack Cafferty would've been a more suitable third party to reference for said threesome than Rick Sanchez.
I apologize for whatever offense or lasting trauma these comments might have caused you and trust that this matter is now concluded.
Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to check back anytime.
Chez : )
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Postcards from the "Basement"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
27 comments:
He'd better hope your robots.txt file is working and google didn't already archive the thing for all posterity.
Wow, really? This is so wonderfully tragic in its stupidity.
And I love the inherent irony of this post as well.
I don't know what is funnier... the fact that he actually thinks he can demand ANYTHING, or that you actually followed through and he might thank you before realizing what is going on.
I mean, he is clearly insane. You never can tell.
I didn't know you were so concerned with the sensitivities of your readers Chez. I’d like to congratulate you on being such a well adjusted member of the society and... wait a minute, I see what you did there!
you're fucking kidding right? what a pathetic weenie that guy is.
Say Chez, sometimes you're a real cocky bastard, you know that? I knew I kept coming back for a reason! That front-page "compliance" with his demands, and the apology for trauma (not your deeds, certainly) - a masterstroke! And nary an unkind word in the whole post! That closing smile is just the cherry on this whole sarcasm sundae, and I love it!
...
Remind me never to piss you off.
I just pooped myself from laughter.
Well done, sir.
Well done.
There seems to be an "or else" insinuated in his email to you. I would love to know, what exactly is his ultimatum?
I can't imagine that anyone with half a brain would dedicate an entire website to CNN's greatness.
I'd imagine it's the kind of person who spends his time sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez
How dare you!
"Max" sounds like a very nice guy, and I refuse to allow anyone on this site to sully his good name.
Perfect. Gold!
You see what you did there, He's a fucking idiot, without having to call him, a "Fucking Idiot!"
Al.
P.S. I live for this kind of post. Perhaps, I'll be the next victim!
"What you cannot enforce, do not command..."
Sophocles
Further evidence of why this is my favorite blog.
And I read a lot of blogs.
Dear self: get a life.
Props, Chez.
Mercy me! It would appear that CNNfan is not a big DEMfan...surprise, surprise.
I have to confess to stirring the pot just a little. Curiosity about the degree of CNNfan's fandom got the better of me, so I invested a few minutes of time and engaged "Max" (a.k.a. Tom Joyce, a fact which he freely shared by attaching a vanity video clip to his public response to me) on his website. I think I was reasonably civil (if calling someone daft can be described as civil) and got the aforementioned self-aggrandizing response. I'm still waiting for a response to my subsequent -- and last -- attempt to find out if he's capable of explaining what motivates him...but there's probably more insight to be found in the email you received this afternoon. Oh well.
Are you sure it's not Klein?
Seriously tho....don't you think that you should give kudos to the anonymous who pointed this out to you and who also thought it was Klein?
By the way, in response to:
"That is not criticism, it is offensive."
Dear Max,
To steal a line from Carols Mencia, who probably stole it from someone else:
"The Constitution does not protect your feelings. If your pussy hurts, rub some Vagisil on it."
You REALLY pissed off the teachers when you were a kid, didn't you?
Personally, I found the phrase "AKA 'Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez'" to be wonderfully descriptive. Not to mention funny.
While I personally would never have snipped "AKA 'Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez'", I can only applaud your actions in giving up a turn of phrase as clear of purpose as "AKA 'Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez'" was in this case.
So basically you're saying I've got the same sensibilities about Rick Sanchez as this douchebag?
Oh well, back to therapy.
Max... Max...
Refresh my memory.
Isn't he AKA Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez?
STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!
YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE MAX INSANE!
I'm so sorry Max, please forgive these Philistines.
You think he's maybe upset because you've sullied all of his Rick Sanchez fantasies with images of Heidi Collins now?
Sorry, Chez, but I got a few e-mails by mistake that were meant for you:
------------------------
Dear Mr. Malcontent:
I demand that you recognize the unique beauty that I (as so many other women) possess and stop attempting to compare me to an equine creature. (Oh, and stop suggesting that Matthew is gay, please...I hang out with gay men, I don't marry them)
Cordially,
Sarah Jessica Parker
-------------------------
Dearest Chez,
Please remove all comments that are critical of Christians and accept Me as your Lord and Savior. Don't say I didn't warn you.
- Jesus Christ
---------------------------
Mr. Pazienza,
If you delete all the nasty comments about CNN from your blog and begin to post only about food and Sarah Jessica Parker, you can have your job back. I'd rather have you where I can keep tabs on you.
Joe Klein
This just in from the What-The-Hell-Were-You-Expecting Department at CNNfan.com:
'Che said, "The trouble that Chez (CNN producer of American Morning who got fired for blogging) [CG: text inserted without attribution by Tom Joyce] and I and others have had with your statements is that we haven't seen you try to put your own observations into any kind of broader context."'
'Che, Good advice! Might even be useful, my own observations into a broader context, if they were not being censored.
It may not matter. When your opponent is self destructing, there really is no need to stand in the way.'
This response is even funnier when you consider the full text of my post to him, because I pointedly asked him to respond only if he could address the questions I asked without being defensive.
I've clearly wasted too much time on this fucktard. In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon!"
Oh well. Guess the only thing I can say is that, for the record, self-destruction has never been so much fun.
Since when did this blog become a medium to attack and criticize others? I thought we talked about nice things here like happy thoughts, and dreams, and chocolate unicorns, and gumdrops, and licorice sunsets and fuzzy gum drop bears, and chocolate covered chocolate gumdrop land...
http://www.facebook.com/andersoncooper\\
Since when did CNN become a place where they controlled the "fan" groups or better yet this is a great way for Klein to get personal information on people so they can have more FBI-like files.
I have also started to hear rumblings from within some of the outside "fan" groups that super nasty emails have been going out to viewers from CNN using anchor email addresses and there have been a few gung-ho fans, blogs and groups who have disappeared suddenly.
Chez, any idea what the hell is going on at CNN with this? You know people on the inside, is this some "policy".
BTW, Richard Quest was on 360 last night talking about the economy, how does he get to keep his job and you get fired?
Post a Comment