I rarely reprint outside material word for word on this site -- but holy fucking hell is this just too good (read: batshit crazy) not to crib wholesale. The following is 100% real. It comes from an online community called "In Jesus" and warns of an imminent and perilous threat against John McCain and Sarah Palin from -- well, just read for yourself.
Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW!
Jim Bramlett
Sep 28 2008 04:12PM
Dear friends:
THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.
Minutes ago I spoke with friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John McCain and Sarah Palin.
Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU LEARN!!!
Jim
______________________________________
From Flo Ellers. Excerpt. (Emphasis supplied in bold and underlines.)
Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village and what she found out about his relations with his tribal people was chilling. And his "cousin" Odinga was dreadful. She said the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.
Bree Keyton told the tribal "Christians" you are NOT Christian if you practice "tribalism" where they do voodoo to conjure up a goddess spirit or a "genie" and then come to church on Sunday to worship Jesus! What she discovered there is apparent in most churches around the world; namely, mixture in the church. Some renounced their devilish practices of blood covenant by killing sheep, goats, humans to be inducted into the tribe or to get a wife or to get revenge.
She said the current president of Kenya is a Christian. However, Obama's cousin Odinga ran aganist him and said he rigged the election and stirred up the masses to rape woman and boys, kill and burn and torture Christians, etc. until Obama contacted Condeleeza Rice and she granted Obama the right to contact Odinga and other ruling elders and he "convinced" them to stop terrorizing the Christians. Bree Keyton said the current Christian President was forced by our government (!) to "create" an office for Odinga (to make "peace") so he was made the Prime Minister (!) to make peace between the Christians and Odinga's Muslim religion!
Bree Keyton went and visited Obama's tribal people and she found out Obama is 75% Arab and his family are Muslims. Odinga is strill trying to become the President of Kenya. If he does, he will make a law forbidding all public preaching and institute Sharia Law. Bree K. said Odinga has made a pact with satan.
Bree K. also said when Obama visited his tribe in '06 and as late as Jan. '08 he went to every elder's home which has a "shrine" inside to worship the genie and asked for their blessing. She was told Obama and Odinga were both "destined" before they were born to be president/leader of their nation. They say "he is the chosen one". She said Obama's grandmother sacrificed a black and a white chicken to the "goddess of the river" so both whites and blacks will vote for Obama. All Islam loves and worships Obama. The world is mesmerized by him. Oprah's 200 million followers are out to elect Obama. Also, Dick Morris of Fox News was sent to Kenya to help Odinga run his campaign! I find that unbelievable.
The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot". Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being sent from Kenya.
I read a portion of "Obama Nation" book and looked at several websites and found most of this information to be true, all except the curses part, of course....
End of excerpt.
(Thanks to Tony for the link; I'll be sending you my therapy bills.)
Monday, October 20, 2008
Witchcrap
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24 comments:
Is this guy I send my money to, when I get an email stating that I have just inherited $600,000 from some Nigerian or Kenyan?
This has to be the best part, and a contender for Quote of the Week:
The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot".
This explains SOOOOOOO much.
Harry Potter must be part of this somehow...
These people were archaic in the 1600's.
And I don't think McCain needs a curse on him to act like a doddering, confused old man. The Alzheimer's is doing a nice job all on it's own.
Unfortunately, I have an ex-step mother-in-law (how the heck do you hyphenate such a monstrosity, anyway?) who would not only believe every word of this but tell it to everyone she knows and permit no interruption or correction. Sheesh. Maybe she's dead.
Nancy's Evil Twin
I think I'm going to learn magic.
I don't think I would have so many troubles if I could just cast a spell or two.
At the risk of sounding crazy (and this is semi-necessary to make my point), I don't discount that sorcery may very well exist. I kind of expect it to.
However...here's the thing: Spiritually, my soul and my metaphysical safety are totally in God's hands. I believe my God is the all-powerful sovereign creator. Ergo, I don't worry about magic. From my standpoint, I have a fucking cheat code for invulnerability on that front.
So, to think that McCain needs our prayers for protection and that he is suffering curses kinda says to me either:
A) You don't have much faith in God's power or being on His game to protect McCain or his running mate, who presumably are in prayer a lot (Palin at least, as she awaits rapture in her lifetime)
or
B) McCain and/or Palin ain't born again, in which case why are you so gung-ho for them that you feel you need to preserve their asses for your pro-Christian agenda?
And that's all aside from the fact that Flo Ellers is possibly insane and so likely is this Bree Keyton, who is delusional or doesn't understand what she's seeing and is making her own script. Obama doesn't need "voodoo" to clean McCain's crazy ass clock...
What ever happened to the idea of simply, oh, I don't know, disagreeing with a candidate's policy?
Look, they have a point: curses, shrines, and archaic chants are ridiculous and pagan, and MUST be combated through spiritual warfare and constant prayers to awash McCain and Palin in the blood of Jesus, the mortal son of our unknowable God.
Open your eyes, you liberal bastards - it all makes sense when you don't think about it. I mean, it's not science, but only because "science" won't shape the fuck up and become what we already believe in.
Hey Chez, since you're the writer, can you whip up an expose on McCain and Palin? How about Palin as an illegal immigrant from Russia and McCain is actually someone else because the real McCain died in captivity?
OMG! Do you think maybe there's someone who would take these idiots out and ...
I want an EndTime Handmaidens bumper sticker.
Apparently, the American Indians are in on it too. They are using peace pipe smoke signals to make Sarah Palin sound like she's from the movie Fargo.
I read a portion of "Obama Nation" book and looked at several websites and found most of this information to be true...
Translation: "My neighbour Jimbo can read real good (and do other stuff good too) and he read it (well, the back at least) and he swears it's all true. And when I made my son check out www.hillbillielogic.com and www.jesuslovesreligiouslunacy.com he came to the same conclusion. What really confirmed it for me was cousin dad's preachin' last sunday. He gets all the jokes on 'According to Jim', so you know he's real smart."
Umm, yah ... and here we'ver got reason numbers 2,385-392 why I'm no longer living back in the States.
I love it! It will be SO fun should McCain (read Palin) become President and we get people like that in the Cabinet .... or other High office.
Where's my tin foil hat?
as if US politics weren't enough like the World Wrestling Federation... now we have Papa Shango running for president putting black vomit voodoo spells on our fake super-hero men.
What. The. Fuck??!!
Where the Hell do these people get their ideas? Obama is from Kenya AND a Satanist? Do they make Satanists in Kenya? Do they actually have Satanists ANYWHERE?
Worshiping genies, demons, AND Satan? I mean, seriously, this is like some kind of mythological cross-swap, cherry picking supernatural entities from disparate religions and mythologies and throwing them all together like it was a D&D game. These things don't coincide in any real world religion. I'm just... FLABBERGASTED at the complete and total level of ignorance of other cultures that MORONS like this display. It shames me that this is the face our country presents to the rest of the world.
And like amanda, I want an EndTimes Handmaidens bumper sticker, too! That's just too cool a name to waste on some fundie nutcase group. I want to name a band The EndTime Handmaidens! (or The Handmaidens of the EndTimes) It's SUCH good a name I'm co-opting it to use as the name of an Outer God Cult in the next Call of Cthulhu roleplaying game I run. The name is just BEGGING for the Lovecraft treatment. A cult of women who worship Nyarlathotep and seek to make the Stars Come Right and bring about the EndTimes.
Wait a minute... maybe that's what these EndTimes Handmaidens really ARE? They're certainly doing their best to spread chaos, which is the hallmark of Nyarlathotep and it's worshipers.
We've uncovered a nest of Cultists! Time to call in Delta Green.
I should have thought of that damn "Handmaidens of the End Times" "End Times Handmaidens" moniker first. Shit, I'm writing a blog novel that takes place in 4001 and has the Vatican ruling half the world...would have been a perfect name for some order of nuns in my story.
Crazy people coming up with better names than I am...bastards...
So wait, are his family Muslims or are they practicing witchcraft?
@mack...
You mean, those aren't synonymous?
shocking...
Loose translation -- 'Black people are scary. Foreigners are scary. Foreign black people are scary. Obama is a black person who is related foreign black people. Obama is scary. Obama may be related to another scary black foreign person with a funny name. Scary foreign black people with funny names are witches. Witches are scary. BEWARE of SCARY BLACK FOREIGN PEOPLE with FUNNY NAMES cause they are stronger than God, unless scared white people all beg him to protect them from the scary black foreign witches. Yay America!'
How the rest of the world doesn't just build a big fence around the US to keep all our crazy in, I'll never guess.
The irony here is that there is video of Sarah Palin receiving a blessing (the laying-on-of-hands type) for protection against witchcraft, from a black Kenyan witch doctor at her church in Alaska. I suppose that wasn't protection enough?
So which side are the scary black witch doctors really on?
"Spiritually, my soul and my metaphysical safety are totally in God's hands. I believe my God is the all-powerful sovereign creator. Ergo, I don't worry about magic. From my standpoint, I have a fucking cheat code for invulnerability on that front."
I'm sorry if I'm dissing your friend, but deacon blue is batshit crazy, too.
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