Friday, October 24, 2008

Insult to Injury

Well, it's finally happened. We've been leading up to this for months and everyone assumed it had to occur sooner or later, and now it has: We've reached the very bottom of the barrel.

Just a little while ago, police in Pittsburgh confirmed that a 20-year-old McCain campaign volunteer named Ashley Todd -- a white girl from Texas -- confessed to making up a shocking story about being beaten by a supporter of Barack Obama. Todd had originally claimed that while canvassing Pittsburgh, a place she volunteered to travel to in support of John McCain, she was confronted at a bank ATM by (wait for it) a tall black man who noticed the McCain '08 bumper sticker on her car and, as such, proceeded to beat the hell out of her -- even going so far as to cut an ugly "B" into her cheek.

Needless to say, every right wing mouthpiece in the country immediately jumped on the story, salivating at the prospect of a possible game-changer of such monumental proportions less than two weeks before election day. Fox News Executive Vice President John Moody even wrote that, if proven true, the item had the potential to make undecideds across the country revisit their support for Barack Obama.

It looked like a dream come true for the GOP faithful.

Unfortunately for them, Ashley Todd is a fucking retard.

First of all, there were reportedly holes in her story you could drive a truck through. Secondly, she neglected to consider the fact that bank ATMs almost always come equipped with surveillance cameras that can easily be checked (which is one of the first things police did; Todd was nowhere to be found). Finally, and most amusingly, the "B" carved into her face was, in fact, backward -- which meant either that police needed to be on the lookout for a tall, black dyslexic man, or Todd cut the damn thing into her own face in front of a mirror.

As it turns out, the latter of the two possibilities is the correct one. Ashley Todd, criminal mastermind, now admits that she mutilated herself.

The whole thing would be hilarious if it weren't so staggeringly horrifying.

So this is it.

This is what it's come to.

This is what the most extreme faction of McCain and Palin's supporters are capable of in a desperate 11th hour attempt to ensure that Barack Obama gets nowhere near the White House: the most despicable kind of race-baiting. These are the people praying for John McCain and Sarah Palin to win -- the people who will literally do anything, even mutilate themselves, to make it happen. They're vicious, evil fuckers who are too goddamned stupid to see the irony of pulling off a vile hoax in the hope of making the other guy's supporters look dangerous and batshit crazy.

The worst part, though?

That, I swear to God, McCain and Palin actually bear some responsibility for this crap.

They've spent the past month fomenting unspeakable hatred and ignorance, inciting violence by refusing to denounce the vitriolic rhetoric of their most mindless acolytes, and insidiously casting their opponent not simply in adversarial terms but as a mysterious figure who consorts with terrorists and whose election could bring about the end of America as we know it.

Saying this kind of garbage to a bunch of easily suggestible, self-styled patriots with the collective IQ of a herd of cattle is like yelling fire in a crowded theater.

McCain and Palin have been proclaiming the clear and present danger involved in Barack Obama's quest for the White House in terms subtle and unambiguous for weeks; they can't really be shocked that somebody would actually take the matter into his or her own hands. They talked and young, impressionable and galactically stupid Ashley Todd listened -- it's that simple.

By the way, Fox News's John Moody, in that post I mentioned earlier, went on to say that if Todd's claims were eventually proven false -- if the whole thing turned out to be, in fact, a hoax -- that "Senator McCain's quest for the presidency (will be) over, forever linked to race-baiting."

For what may be the very first time, I really hope Fox News is right.


See You Next Tuesday said...

Thank you for articulating this with the appropriate facts and fury.

Brandon said...

"...take the matter into his or her own hands..." "...galactically stupid."

Chez, have you been watching A Few Good Men a lot lately? Great article and I completely agree with you, but those phrases stood out to me and a little good natured ribbing seemed in order.

You've been on fire these past two months and it's been great reading. Thanks.

Master Mahan said...

Now all she needs to do is finish carving "ullshit" into her face.

This is just a perfect illustration of where the sad dregs of the McCain campaign is right now. I'm sure Drudge et al came in their pants when they ran across the story of a white woman being attacked and mutilated by an Obama-supporting colo... negr... black man. They swallowed this story hook, line, and sinker because they so wanted it to be true. A crazy minority attacking our white women? Finally, something they're sure happens all the time finally happened.

If there's one lesson to take away from this story, it's this: the right-wing pundits wanted this to be true.

Steve Saunders said...

Jesus. Massive FAIL on her part.

You know, she could have at least tried to carve an "O". Then there's no chance of getting it backwards (though I'm sure in her infinite and unprecedented genius she would have figured out a way to).

"Saying this kind of garbage to a bunch of easily suggestible, self-styled patriots with the collective IQ of a herd of cattle is like yelling fire in a crowded theater."

Oh, and the cows called. They would like a retraction and an apology, Chez.


megbon said...

This story was horrifying. And I agree with almost everything you said here - except I doubt that this poor, stupid girl mutilated herself as a gambit to get McCain/Palin elected. I suspect it was more about the attention she'd get from the deeply twisted people she admires.

That, of course, is a distinction without a difference. Since the point is that McCain/Palin have race baited this nastiness right up. God I can't wait for the 4th.

Andrew Smash said...

Am I surprised that this happened? No. Am I surprised that the perpetrator of the hoax was so incompetent? No. Let's face it - the one thing that lets true believers get through life without questioning their values or ideas is the fact that they are morons or cowards. It either doesn't occur to them that there might be information they are unaware of or they are terrified that the world may not meet their expectations. In either case, the best (and seemingly only) way for them to deal is through creating a narrative of good and evil where they are always on the side of good and those with other views are evil. This gives them a certainty that lets them deal with all that nasty ambiguity out there in the world. The only difference between now and four years ago is they are no longer being pandered to, and that terrifies them. See the scariest thing of all for these dinks is being irrelevant. And they see those days coming back.

Cheryl Robbins said...


I knew it. The moment I saw the backward "B", I thought "mirror".

After the "attack", she received personal support phone calls from both McCain and Palin. I really do hope they call her back.

Another nail has been slammed into the coffin.

hollygirl78 said...

I am astonished (although I shouldn't be) that it got any coverage at all. I'm a martial artist who has seen, received, and inflicted more than my fair share of shiners while sparring. They always, 100% of the time, with no exceptions, at all, ever, include swelling. Look at the picture. No swelling. Just discoloration, easily done with makeup. You know, the kind you could get in any store during, say, the month of October, when Halloween is approaching.

I almost wish I still did drugs. This seems more rational as a weird acid trip than the reality in which we now live.

Anonymous said...

Many thanks to a Texas A&M Aggie to further dismantle the McPalin Straight Crap Express. Ashley Todd has turned herself into the biggest Aggie joke of them all.

Anonymous said...

One of the AP stories said that she claims she doesn't know how the B got there... has she since admitted it? The report said something about getting her mental health evaluated too.

Anonymous said...

There is an epidemic of made up and falsely reported crimes in this nation, and I think we all know who is to blame.

Fictitious black men.

Fictitious black men are a plague on our society. They kill children, rape, murder, and even carve backward Bs into the faces of our young unattractive white women. They must be stopped. That's why I'm starting a campaign to end made up crime by ending the practice of white people imagining black people. I realize that this will have adverse effects on the Philip Roths and Quentin Tarantinos of this world, but it's what we have to do to protect society from the havoc wreaked by these made up male negroes. From now on white people are allowed to imagine other white people, Asians, Hispanics, and black women. Non-whites can continue to imagine whoever they like, but black men are off limits for whitey until they, as a nebulous and undefined 'scary' group, stop being blamed for all sorts of things that never actually happened.

Please support this measure as necessary in the face of the obvious inability of white America to use their powers of imagination responsibly.

Iris said...

Sick and sad and unbelievable in the truest sense of the word. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

Before modern medicine and the current legal system were firmly in place, people like Ashley Todd would die of their own stupidity, usually in a quiet and out of the way place all the while disturbing no one except for leaving the pollution of their own bodies for nature to reclaim.

The fact that a moron like her is alive and well in today's world is clear proof that the validity of Darwin's Theory can now be firmly called into question.

Pat said...

hey stop picking on snakes-- they are honest and useful!

Mike Barber said...

>This is what the most extreme faction of McCain and Palin's supporters are capable of in a desperate 11th hour attempt to ensure that Barack Obama gets nowhere near the White House

No Chez, what those of "the most extreme faction" are capable of has not happened yet, though the shadow of that very thing has been lurking in the back of our collective mind for some time now.

When Biden made the comment about Obama being tested like JFK, I think he was hitting the nail on the head a little too much.

Let's hope the Secret Service are staying on top of all those nut jobs.

Chez said...

Believe me, Mike -- I've thought of that. It's impossible not to.

I've just avoided bringing it up.

Sat.Morn.Brkfst.Show said...

Not to be totally off-topic, but...

Look at Ms. Todd.

Is anyone else reminded of the girl in the hole in 'Silence of the Lambs'?

'It rubs the lotion on its body whenever it's told.'

Lovin' the Friday evening (posted at 4:20 even) posting!

Geetch said...

I saw this and my first thought was, "I can't imagine an Obama supporter doing something like this." This campaign has been so insanely polarizing and it's not even due to the candidates - or it wasn't in the beginning. The polarization, for me, first showed up when it became more apparent what type of people were supporting each candidate. McCain supporters have regularly shown themselves to be bigoted and unnecessarily confrontational. Meanwhile, Obama's camp has been overwhelmingly courteous. There have been no cries of "Take the old man down" or "Send him back to the Vietnamese." There are undoubtedly bad eggs in each party's supporters simply because it's human nature, but the majority of the McCain supporters who have appeared in the media have been repellent to an astonishing degree. I try to remain, to use a cliche, "fair and balanced" but the Republican fucknuts who are coming out in droves (especially in my lovely home state of PA) have pushed me past whatever problems I have with the Democrats' platform. I laugh whenever I see that picture because a) it's hysterically obvious what happened and b) it's a sign of beautiful desperation that means the end is nigh.

HalloweenExpress said...

Put that Sarah Palin costume away! The new hot Halloween costume is Ashley Todd! Vavavoom!

Girl With Curious Hair said...

How ridiculous was this lie from the beginning that even Michelle Malkin was suspicious. Michelle Malkin was the voice of reason at some point.

And now my head will explode.

maxpurr9 said...

okay i'm not going to be all compassionate for her mental illness or understanding of any situation.....that said:

i wish someone would kick her ass for real.

nothing makes me more angry than fucking idiots. okay, rant over. i'll go back to being the peacenik that i am. thank you.

Anonymous said...

If this is in fact a Hoax, expect to see Ashley Todd being contender for the top spot in next years Darwin awards.

Anonymous said...

as soon as i saw this dumb bitch's face on fox news i was thinking "bitch stood in front of a mirror and forgot to make the b backwards so it would look normal in a picture." of course, no one was even questioning why it was backwards. then i thought, she should have at least said there were two big scary black men and one held her down while the other kneeled behind her and scratched it in-at least then it would make sense that the dumb ignorant nig would have branded her with a backward b. THEN I thought-wait a second, why didn't the big scary blacks just put an o on her face? and why aren't they showing dark shadows of scary black men doing this to her-you know if they had that in surveilance, fox news would have been literally masturbating over it. i was so glad when i heard the news over the radio that the stupid slut had finally confessed to being a complete texan retard-dumb bitch.

drater said...

Chez, I have to take issue when you say, "McCain and Palin actually bear some responsibility for this crap." They actually bear a hell of a lot of responsibility for this crap.

They've been fanning the flames of hatred, bigotry, and fear, and the worst part is that these won't go away on November 5. Come January, we'll have a president whom a significant part of our population believes to be a traitor and a terrorist sympathizer. There's a recipe for success, and largely thanks to McCain/Palin. "Country First" my ass.

Ref said...

"Fanning the flames", my ass. Both of them have been basking in the warmth of that fire since the first report came out. Their immediate and fervent embrace of what most of us saw as a put-up job from the first mention of it SHOULD be hung around their necks as the racist crap that it is. Any bets on whether the Sunday Bobbleheads will make McCain own this crap?

Izar Talon said...

HA! I wondered why the hell the B was backwards. This is the fist I have heard that it was a hoax, since I was out of town, although it doesn't surprise me in the least. Actually, I just got back from a wedding in, incidentally, Pittsburgh, in South Side, and I don't know if that's the "wrong" side or not, but I'd be willing to bet she'd think it was. Didn't get beat up by any black men. Got really drunk with a couple, though.

I will now resume my hangover...

Hayden Tompkins said...

In Gainesvill, someone ran aorun and spraypainted houses with McCain/Palin signs with "Fuck McCain" and "Hail Satan", "666", and a pentagram.

My husband and I immediately thought it was probably a McCain supporter.

The "666" and pentagram are things that people who are religiously conservative put a lot of meaning into - not so much other people. And religiously conservative tend to be Republicans.

Additionally, it smacks of someone who is angry and desperate, and that doesn't indicate an Obama supporter to me.

Anonymous said...

In my neighborhood (I live behind the Orange Curtain in Southern California), one house has been displaying McCain-Palin sign on the front lawn for weeks. Last week, another house on the street had Obama-Biden sign. Within a week, the sign was destroyed (as in, torn up into itty-bitty pieces) and thrown all over the front lawn.

Gina said...

I think this country should institute a new standard for voting rights: the IQ test. Citizens who register under 75 cannot vote. That would weed out 95% of McCain/Palin supporters, like this chick.

If this story were not such an accurately disturbing example of how ugly, demented, and hateful McCain's campaign is, it would really be funny.

Hayden Tompkins said...

And next time, I won't comment without wearing my glasses. Sheesh!