Last week I offered up a haiku-like "review" of the vice presidential debate by way of a quote from the movie A Fish Called Wanda. Well, as much as I kind of hate to continue boiling down the most important presidential contest I've seen in my lifetime to a series of pedestrian pop culture metaphors, I think one particular film reference seems pretty appropriate right about now.
There's a lot of talk going on this afternoon about what we can expect from tonight's second presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain -- about what Obama needs to do to seal the deal with voters and what McCain needs to do to turn the tide back in his direction. To be honest, I can't tell you what McCain's strategy should be because A) I'm not sure there's anything he can do at this point short of sacrificing a goat, chanting an incantation to Satan and magically turning himself into a completely different candidate, and B) we already know exactly what tack McCain will take tonight: he'll make a lot of baseless accusations and sling a shitload of mud because he has no other option.
Obama though -- that's a different story.
I'm beginning to get the feeling that all Obama has to do tonight is stay on message and keep his cool because, whereas with a normal, well-adjusted opponent it might not make much of a difference, with McCain it may be just enough to drive him completely over the edge.
Which brings me to the movie reference (and I hinted at this once before).
John McCain is Colonel Nathan Jessup, Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men.
He's strident, arrogant, antagonistic, and he can't for the life of him figure out why the hell he has to stand there taking crap and answering questions about his record and campaign tactics from the pussies in the media whom he fought to protect the rights of back in 'Nam, from the whining voters who want him to come down off his wall and actually help them during this economic crisis, and especially from some uppity black smart-guy in a faggoty Oxxford suit. McCain always looks like he's one irritating question away from screaming, "You're goddamn right I did (something unethical)!" at the top of his lungs.
Like Colonel Jessup, McCain doesn't want to be bothered explaining himself; he'd rather you just addressed him as "Mr. President" -- he believes he's earned it; he'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way.
And like Colonel Jessup, he wants to say this -- out loud -- tonight.
McCain wants to lash out at those he feels are yanking his destiny out from under him. He's already proven he'll say and do anything to get elected; all Obama really has to do is remain perfectly calm, not take the bait, and I promise you it'll frustrate the hell out of John McCain to the point where we may actually see smoke come out of his ears.
Or we may see him completely fucking lose it.
He wants to do it -- he wants to do it so badly.
Obama just has to shake him, put him on the defensive and lead him right where he's dying to go.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
He Can't Handle the Truth
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11 comments:
Hey, say what you will but whether we like it or not we want him on that wall, we NEED him on that wall. [/sarcasm]
My God, what I wouldn't give to see Old Man McCain get red in the face and shaky, then completely fucking lose it.
Jessup would eat McCain for breakfast.
He was Navy, after all. ;-)
as someone with a full on temper myself, I think that there is a 20%chance he may lose it. generaly it can be kept under control, there are calming exercises and such(usualy the most effective thing is to walk away from the thing or person), but unless they are letting him vent a lot, it is probably building. I cannot imagine trying to keep all those lies strait, having a dipshit like palin to keep under control, and the horror of seeing his last hope for surpassing his mark one and mark two mcain forbears in rank slipping away.
mccain full on losing his shit on live television would make my day.
Anybody got a pool going?
When McCain loses it and in reaction to what?
You see Barack, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don’t want money, and I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty slick negro suit and with your Harvard Law School mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.
There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a running mate you have to salute in the morning. Promote ‘em all, I say, ’cause this is true: if you haven’t gotten a blowjob from your Vice Presidential nominee, well, you’re just letting the best in life pass you by.
I run my campaign how I run my campaign. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 tree-hugging pinko commie terrorist-loving hippie liberals who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash those big monkey ears, and make me nervous.
Boy, we live in a world that has millionaires, and those millionaires have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Tom Brokaw? I have more houses and cars than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your retirement pensions and your 401-K's, and you curse the deregulators and mavericks. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the death of your insignificant college fund, while tragic, probably saved Robert Willumstad's trip to Barbados. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves Richard Fuld's Tibetan panda hunt. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at community organizer rallies, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like maverick, gotcha, six-pack. We use these words as the backbone of a campaign pursuing victory at any cost. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who fist-jabs and hip-hops under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said "Oh Lawdy Lawdy thank you Massa McCain," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a paper hat, and give me my chicken nuggets. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
You fuckin' people. You have no idea how to steal a nation. All you did was weaken a country club membership today, Obama. That's all you did. You put rich people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, BOY.
Votar in 2012 !
With Brokaw moderating, I don't think there's a chance he'll push McCain over the edge, or permit Obama to. If you've seen him interview Barack, he doesn't even try to hide his disdain. I can't believe they couldn't come up with a better moderator.
Votar, nice riff!
Barack Obama just won the Presidency tonight! And wow! Who would have predicted this a year ago?
IMHO the kind of people who are supporting mccain now would only be inflated with pride should he loose his cool on stage. They'd be yelling "yeah! kick his ass! kill him! treason! terrorist!"
Oh, wait, the mccain supporters are already saying that....
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