I rarely post comments, but God bless Adam (you know him as Votar) -- he really pulled an inspired little diatribe out of his ass in response to the post directly below this one.
That would be the piece that compared John McCain to Colonel Nathan Jessup from A Few Good Men.
He wrote:
"You see Barack, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don’t want money, and I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty slick negro suit and with your Harvard Law School mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.
There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a running mate you have to salute in the morning. Promote ‘em all, I say, ’cause this is true: if you haven’t gotten a blowjob from your Vice Presidential nominee, well, you’re just letting the best in life pass you by.
I run my campaign how I run my campaign. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 tree-hugging pinko commie terrorist-loving hippie liberals who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash those big monkey ears, and make me nervous.
Boy, we live in a world that has millionaires, and those millionaires have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Tom Brokaw? I have more houses and cars than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your retirement pensions and your 401-K's, and you curse the deregulators and mavericks. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the death of your insignificant college fund, while tragic, probably saved Robert Willumstad's trip to Barbados. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves Richard Fuld's Tibetan panda hunt. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at community organizer rallies, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like maverick, gotcha, six-pack. We use these words as the backbone of a campaign pursuing victory at any cost. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who fist-jabs and hip-hops under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said "Oh Lawdy Lawdy thank you Massa McCain," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a paper hat, and give me my chicken nuggets. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
You fuckin' people. You have no idea how to steal a nation. All you did was weaken a country club membership today, Obama. That's all you did. You put rich people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, BOY."
Adam and I used to do a radio show together years ago.
You can imagine what it sounded like.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
He Can't Handle the Truth (Part II)
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19 comments:
A friend of mine forwarded the link to your blog site and I have to say I LOVE IT.
Typically I never leave comments on news/blog web pages but after reading the comment from this uneducated idiot, it made me realize the sad state we are in. We are forgetting that we have to work TOGETHER in order to better our great country, instead we are choosing side. But what scares me most is that we are willing to vote in someone w/absolutely NO EXPERIENCE (& does not care to educate herself). Instead, she would rather talk about being a maverick, Joe 6-Pack, & soccer mom. Which by the way, I know a lot of soccer moms who would be insulted being associated with her.
We need to wake up because it will only get worse if we don't!
I think that pretty much sums up the attitude of every major Republican face since Nixon. This group of royalty-wannabe's cannot understand why it is so much work to get people to bow down and just accept that they are better human beings than the rest of us. Of course, they are inherently anti-competition which proves that deep down, they know they are doggy-paddling in the shallow end of the gene-pool (just like real royals), but as far as their PR goes, they are just like all of us - except wealthier, sexier, and more fabulous, cause that's how God wants it.
Holy shit. That. Was. Awesome.
"Did you order the Code Smear?
DID YOU ORDER THE CODE SMEAR!?!"
What Mike said.
That bit is so awesome I'm gonna have to dig my pants out of my wall.
Big cheers to Votar!
(drums) boom-BOOM boom-BOOM BOOM CRASH "...Did you ever know that your my he-eee-e-ro"
That would have been the best radio show in history.
I've told 4 of my friends about your site so far, and t least one has started reading it already. Stuff like this is the reason why. This whole place is made of win.
You are god damn right I ordered the code smear and I would do it again.
Adam, Bravo! And Chez thank you for highlighting.
I want to be the chick that reads the news on that radio show.
(Warning: Completely Off Topic)
So when is your take on NBC erasing the SNL bailout skit from existence gonna be here? You know, the one that makes fun of George Soros and the liberal Sandler moguls?
http://mashable.com/2008/10/06/snl-censorship/
Let me guess, you don't care. It's a non-issue, purely unrelated to politics. SNL isn't a news show so it doesn't matter. Just forget the fact that you liberals have an orgy about The Daily Show and how important it is to America. If NBC had removed the Palin skit you'd be all over it but now you could care less and won't write a word about it unless it's mocking it or rejoicing over it.
/It's your blog and you can write whatever you want but I'm moderate, sick of people ignoring the shady things that BOTH sides of the aisle do and this is my only place to vent.
my favorite moment on twitter during the debate - "who paid for McCain's eight dollar suit?"
Amusing that McCain's projected costs are also over a trillion dollars.
And who told the moderator it was cool to wear Sarah's glasses? Sheesh.
I'm confused. When reading this aloud, do we affect the Jack voice, or the guy who needs vitamin C voice?
You gotta go a long way to be funny parodying "A Few Good Men" at this point, but damn if you didn't pull it off. To put it in a context McCain would understand, that was funnier than "Fibber McGee and Molly."
Anon 1:16 --
First of all, you hit it on the head when you said that it's my site. I don't pretend even for a moment to be consistently balanced (fair and balanced?) as the contents here are mostly opinion and commentary.
Another thing, I'm not liberal. Not by a long shot. I've said this before but I guess it bears repeating: I think that being disgusted with McCain, Palin and what the Republican party has allowed itself to metastasize into is no longer a matter of being to the left -- it's basic common sense at this point.
As for the SNL skit, you answered your own question. You're right, it is a comedy show and, like this site, under no obligation to give equal time to those it pokes fun at. Exactly who pulled the sketch from the web I'm not in a position to say so I can't tell you what the thinking was that went into it. I agree that all sides in the bailout fiasco deserve to be made fun of -- good and hard. And that the best kind of humorous mockery is that which is spread across the board (although, ironically, I used to catch such crap before I started concentrating on the election, and picked an actual side, for being utterly misanthropic).
Either way, thanks for reading and commenting.
"I think that being disgusted with McCain, Palin and what the Republican party has allowed itself to metastasize into is no longer a matter of being to the left -- it's basic common sense at this point."
Just wondering. How would we define "Republican" before Reagan, and how would we define it today?
Simply brilliant. Thank you guys.
I'm at work and was depressed before I read this. You guys made my day. Fucking awesome.
Fucking A.
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