All Over but the Flouting

I almost didn't watch the debate last night.

I figured I'd already made up my mind and nothing John McCain did short of looking into the camera and offering me, Chez Pazienza, a few hundred-grand for my vote would make me reconsider my decision, even for a moment. McCain's campaign is so dead-in-the-water -- I already know everything I need to about him: he's sunk to ethical and judgmental depths over the past several weeks that it would take a backhoe to dig him out from -- that forcing myself to listen to his desperate and shaky-voiced pandering for an hour and a half would be nothing more than an exercise in the worst kind of masochism. Anyone with a brain knows where things stand right now, and that last night wasn't likely to change minds either way. As much as the media play up the vast reservoir of prized "undecideds" supposedly still up for grabs, the reality is that most people -- not all, but most -- have already made up their minds which side they're on.

I know I have -- so why bother suffering through the debate (or one half of it, anyway)?

This was what I said to myself at 8:55PM last night.

By 9:03PM my curiosity had gotten the best of me and I was sitting in front of my computer in bed, watching the live streaming feed of the thing.

It turned out to be everything I'd expected.

As he did during the last debate, Barack Obama remained cool, focused and, yes, presidential. He had a strong command of the issues and delivered his points with commendable precision. You never for a moment got the impression that Obama didn't know exactly what he was talking about. My only complaint, and this is one that I've had from the beginning, is that from a strictly political perspective, he should allow the personality that his supporters know is such a potent feature of his -- the one that has convinced so many to both hope and fight for a brighter tomorrow -- to shine through more often. I say this because, when juxtaposed with McCain's grouchy-old-guy routine, nothing -- nothing -- would provide a greater contrast between the two candidates.

Speaking of Mccain -- well, there's really not much more anyone can say.

Except maybe this: From a purely physical standpoint, never before has his age been so apparent as it was last night. He looked not simply old but elderly. He shuffled stiffly around the circular stage; he rarely raised his voice above a silky whisper; he repeated phrases (and not just the drinking-game-worthy entreatment, "my friends"); he did an apparent impression of Tim Conway's "Old Man" character by inexplicably wandering around aimlessly during Obama's turn to answer questions; he looked, well -- feeble.

Feeble, but still bitter.

As I've said before, McCain truly believes that he's entitled to become president. It's what he's been working toward most of his adult life (a fact which proves that his Snow Bunny running mate doesn't have the monopoly on naked ambition within their ticket). McCain has run his campaign ineptly almost since the beginning; he's been a true believer in the kind of corporate ass-kissing, politics-for-profit, free-market-as-the-ultimate-good that got us into this economic mess we're currently in; he's made bad judgment call after strangely erratic and random decision; he's done all of this and more -- and on top of that, he's been petty, disdainful and condescending to his opponent -- and yet he still believes that America should roll over and give him what he wants. He still believes he's the best man for the job. He makes claims like, "I can win wars. I can catch bin Laden. I can fix the economy," and expects that we accept this on faith and take him at his word, when the reality is that if he really could do any of the above and hadn't attempted to do it yet in his role as a senator, he'd be guilty of, at the very least incompetence, at most treason.

Last night, he brought up all of these supposed skills yet again -- while not just dismissing the ideas of his opponent but insulting him by referring to him as "that one" (a special brand of exclusionary rudeness and incivility that I've never seen exhibited by a presidential candidate, likely because it doesn't belong anywhere in the thought processes or lexicon of a presidential candidate).

Add to that the fact that McCain blew off a handshake with Obama at the end of the debate and it's more proof that the former simply isn't in possession of the ideas, the skills, or the sense of decorum necessary to be President of the United States.

But then, we knew that going into last night's debate.

And John McCain did nothing to change anyone's mind -- as expected.