Friday, September 19, 2008

Spain and Suffering

From 23/6: New York comedian Katie Halper has some ideas as to why John McCain might've snubbed Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero.

McCain doesn't want to meet with Zapatero because...

1) the Spanish Prime Minister promotes the Homosexual agenda through his "curious" lisp and his legalization of gay marriage.

2) he doesn't want to encourage more Spanish people to sneak across our borders and steal our jobs, replacing hamburgers with paella, square dancing with flamenco and baseball with bullfighting.

3) he was unclear whether the reporter was talking about THE Zapatero or a zapatero, and McCain thinks it's a little below him to commit to a meeting with his cobbler.

4) he still hasn't forgiven Spain for the inquisition, which he remembers losing friends to, and which haunts him to this day.

5) as a skin cancer survivor, McCain resents Spain's pro sun propaganda.


Suzy said...

ROTFL!!! Excellent. What a fuckstick this man is. I can see stumbling over where Comoros is located, but SPAIN???

Or assuming, of course, he does know, why in God's name would you not meet with Zapatero without hesitation?


Anonymous said...

Has anyone considered the possibility that McCain is the closet Muslim? Don't a lot of those Islamic extremists believe that Spain is part of the Caliphate because it was once Muslim land, and once Muslim land ALWAYS Muslim land? Maybe McCain won't meet with Zapatero because he does not recognize him as the true and legitimate leader of Al-Andalus.

I mean everyone is always talking about how Obama wasn't really born in Hawaii (He doesn't even surf!) but we KNOW McCain was born in Panama, which is probably full of Muslims because, you know, they have the floppy hats and stuff and weird headwear is often a sign of religious fidelity (See Jews, the Pope, Devo)

Interesting how the mainstream media is silent on this. John McCain, bigtime Muslim.

Chez said...

And we have a strong new candidate for Comment of the Week.

Aaron X said...

It's because John is just another bought and paid for idiot front man like George W. Pinhead, whose quickly losing touch with reality, like many old fogies and octogenarians of his advanced years, John's brain has shrunk to the size of a golf ball, and has broken loose from its moorings within his brainpan. :-)

Hey John, Terry Schiavo called and she wants her brain back.

The frightening thing is that is that McCain's advisers are apparently going to obstinately hold to this position, instead of admitting to the obvious gaffe. No doubt under a McCain presidency we'll be gearing up for war with Spain, on the basis of a decision made by a man who's gone soft in the head.

During the Democratic primary, I suspected that the Clinton campaign had their candidate on a pharmaceutical enhancement regiment, some kind of stimulant, and I'm not talking Red Bull, and probably some HGH injections as well, perhaps even a little testosterone. Jesse Ventura jokingly mentioned this possibility during an interview, and Jesse knows a juicer when he sees one. So perhaps it's time for McCain's handlers to start giving their man a similar boost.

They've got to do something or they're going to be defeated by the the largest margin in US general election history. Their game plan at this point is similar to that of the Clintons during the Democratic primary, try to do as much damage to Obama as they possibly can before he becomes president, in hopes of weakening him in office. So John better get hold of a good doctor and start those weekly injections, I suggest a little Deca-Durabolin and Winstrol along with a side of Human Growth Hormone, if he wants to hold his own against the young stallions. Just give Sylvester Stallone a call, he's got the best connections around.

Personally I think it's high time we started drug testing all politicians, including presidential candidates. After all most Americans have drug tests pressed upon them by their employers, and these public representatives work for us. So it seems only natural and fair that We the People insist on similar screenings for our employees, and that all candidates vying for office as well as sitting elected officials submit to random drug screenings on a regular basis. What's good for the goose is good for the gander as well, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

The man invented the wheel for God sakes, leave him alone. He wrote the bible, did you all know that? Beginning to end in under twenty minutes. Just leave him alone! He was calling it the "Industrial Age" long before anyone else was. And he may not have invented the first airplane, but he sure piloted it. And so what if he had to crash-landed that one too. Other notable inventions include, gunpowder, penicillin, the colostomy bag, hair extensions, that plastic thing on the end of your shoes laces, bell-bottom pants, toilet paper, and vagasil. He was beating his wife before it was popular. He was the first to use the word "cunt." Cut him some slack!

See You Next Tuesday said...

Oh god...numbers four and five....
must monitor.....

jodi54 said...

see you next tuesday -
I quite agree! I had to reach for the e-tronic wipes to clean the tea from my monitor and keyboard after reading the former posts! But add number 2 to the list ... funny as hell.

My poor rottweiler freaked as I spewed tea and stamped my feet in delight at the comments.