Monday, September 29, 2008

The Mayor of Simpleton

Well folks, I've finally found it.

I've been looking for years, but here it is: the single fucking dumbest thing ever.

From the Huffington Post:

"Fort Mill, South Carolina Mayor Danny Funderburk said he forwarded a chain email suggesting Barack Obama is the antichrist because he was 'just curious' if it was true.

'I was just curious if there was any validity to it,' Funderburk said in a telephone interview. 'I was trying to get documentation if there was any scripture to back it up.'

I guess leaning over the backyard fence and asking Cletus and Myrna if they'd been told anything about this by Baby Jesus didn't provide the confirmation Mayor "Danny" was looking for.

Just remember, this idiot was probably a pair of tits away from being John McCain's running mate at one point.


Steve said...

Actually, I didn't see it as "dumb", just another cheap scare tactic. Paint your opponent as the Antichrist and see who buys the idea.

Somebody will.

Ike said...

Dammit Chez!

I only clicked through to see the obligatory XTC video!

(you cable news weasels always were good about bait-and-switch on the teases...)


Captain Babypants said...

You know how people get by with stuff like this? Because it's dumb on so many levels you just don't know where to start. So you just shake your head and walk away nursing the headache you just got trying to wrap your brain around it.

See You Next Tuesday said...

But........they won't be able to stop the anti-christ, according to scripture. And why would they want to? Rapture, baby.

My god, these people are DUMB.

PS-Loved that you used "Cletus".

nancy said...

I have a sinking feeling that, the ways things have been going, your "Single Fucking Dumbest Thing Ever" will become a weekly feature...

Mack said...

Here's the thing though....if "the base" thought he was the anti-christ wouldn't they be voting for him to make the rapture come quicker? In my opinion this can only help the man.

LaRoach said...

Salt of earth, people of the land. You know... morons.

b80vin said...

Chez, you missed the dumbest part. When asked if he thought Obama was the anti-christ this dirt knuckle said, "I have no way of knowing," (as I remember reading it, that was the effective sentiment anyway). In essence he was saying, "I have no critical thinking, no intelligence and no world view outside what the Bible tells me. This makes him eligible for the Republican vice presidential nomination. Obviously he is campaigning for Palin's spot if she drops out.

Steve said...

Naah ... he was just echoing the MSM's standard headline-spewing method: "Obama: politician or antichrist? You tell us."

Anonymous said...

I hear the National Review has a job offer for Mr. Funderburk.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should institute a weekly or the way things are going lately daily Darwin award.

Anonymous said...

Oops, posted before finishing. I nominate for today's Darwin award, the rebublican'ts who wouldn't vote for the bailout because Pelosi hurt their feelings with her "partisan" speech. DOW closes
-777 !!

Hold on, we're in for a bumpy ride.

Anonymous said...

Wasilla. Fort Mill.

Honestly Chez, what difference does it make?

Deacon Blue said...

Well, if he is the Antichrist, things are about to get a hell of a lot more exciting than just the economy tanking. Yee-ha!

You know the old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times..."

Where's he hiding that 666 anyway? Damien Thorne actually had plenty of hair to hide it. Obama's hairdo ain't that deep.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. Cooter Knucklefuck is looking for enlightenment.

SherryB said...

"I was trying to get documentation if there was any scripture to back it up."

You know, I've tried several snarky responses to this and have deleted them all because it serves itself best a la carte.

Anonymous said...

Don't know about scripture, but if Obama shows up in a blue turban, I'm moving to the Netherlands.

-- Asstrodamus, the Pontificator of Porn


Master Mahan said...

Yes, forwarding the e-mail really sounds like the best way to discover whether Obama is the Antichrist - provided, of course, Mayor Funderburk sent it to Jesus of Nazareth ( It sounds like he sent to other idiots, which probably wouldn't help much with getting a positive identification on the Great Beast.

Of course, scripture is hard! What was Funderburk supposed to do - look in the Bible? Who would expect a devout Christian to even have access to a Bible, much less any interest in reading the direct Word of God?

Perhaps we can somehow research this without having to... *gasp* ... open a Bible. According to the article:

The e-mail, which has circulated in the last six months, claims the biblical book of Revelation says the antichrist will be in his 40s and of Muslim ancestry.

Hmmm. That doesn't sound right. The guy in Left Behind was Russian, for one thing. If the Book of Revelations said the Antichrist was Muslim, that would probably be brought up a lot more. Jerry Falwell said the Antichrist was Jewish, and while I'm not sure Falwell was even literate, he was easily rich enough to pay someone to read the Bible out loud.

Then again, it could be that no one has mentioned this before because the Book of Revelations was written 400 years before Mohammad was even born, and so the word Muslim would have been complete gibberish for centuries.

You. Fucking. Moron.

Jeremy said...

The thing that I see in the comments here though, and at the "this woman votes" post (both of which I will concede are scary as hell) are the very types of commentary that the GOP will point to as elitist and effectively use to get these people to vote against their economic self interest. What the Democrats need to do is not make fun of the "salt of the earth" folks, but figure out how to dialogue with them, address their issues, counteract all the bullshit they've been spoon fed by the GOP and via their Aunt Sue's church's e-mail string, and win them over.
These are the people I come from, so I know that education is able to raise a person up and out of such ignorance. But the GOP has a a vested interest in keeping these folks and their offspring uneducated and easily manipulatable. Not just for their votes, but as an easily exploitable cheap labor class. They encourage their xenophobia so that they can pit them against "mes'kins" or "coloreds" and drive wages down for all of them, and get the people themselves to drive out the Unions that could help raise them up out of poverty before they can even get a toe hold.
Joe Bageant wrote an excellent book called "Deer Hunting with Jesus" that addresses this very issue. I found that Bageant articulated a number of contradictory feelings I've had about "my people" for a long time, and I found myself at turns laughing, crying, and totally bewildered. A lot like a trip home to eastern Kentucky (or anywhere in Texas outside my cloistered Austin!)

Chez said...

I read Deer Hunting with Jesus -- very good book.

I wrote something a while back that talked about how the GOP was trying to pit small town America against the big cities and how it was nonsense because not everyone from either area is exactly the same. I have to say though, the views of Mayor Danny here and the crazy white trash lady a few posts back aren't really about small town -- they're just freaking stupid.

And I honestly have no idea how you get through to people who think like that. It's like we're speaking two completely different languages -- figuratively and literally.

Jeremy said...

Well, crazy lady did say she voted for Hillary, and she chided her "old man" for using the "N" word. Those, at least, are starting points for opening dialogue, no?
I mean, I concede (again) crazy white trash lady is...well... crazy. But for every crazy lady spouting insanity about Obama's "Arab" heritage, there are probably a hundred other folks who received the same insane e-mail I'm alomst positive such misinformation came from (because my family regularly forwards similar e-mails to me, hoping I'll see the light and become a Republican) who might be willing to listen to reasonable assertions like "You know, he's actually the son of a man from Kenya, in Africa, not the Middle East."
Personally, I do a BCC respond to all recipients everytime I get one of these crazy e-mails and try to do a point-by-point refutation if I can. I don't think I've necessarily changed anyone's mind yet about how to vote, but I've corrected some nasty lies.