Folks, I don't know about you but I'm fucking terrified.
Sure this election has had its share of rank stupidity and gutless pandering, but for the most part it's stayed on track, focused on the facts and been mercifully free of the kind of heated exchanges over absolute bullshit that we've watched plague past national races -- you know, the stuff that's caused the rest of the world to laugh at us and managed to pretty much lay waste to America as an enlightened society over the last eight years. Seriously, there's been nary a fucking dumbass wedge-issue in sight this election. That feckless turd Karl Rove somehow found himself neutered and those idiot Evangelicals, known collectively as "the base" -- which is ironically what "al Qaeda" translates to in English -- have been a group without a voice this time around. It looked like the immensely stupid in our country were gonna have to sit this one out. And it was good.
But now all that's changed.
That racket you hear off in the distance -- all those cannons firing and megaphones blaring? That's the culture war. It just erupted again.
Why? Because the half-wits in "the base" finally found somebody they can get behind -- somebody who believes all the stupid shit they believe and who's more than happy to take up the mantle of unmitigated right-wing crazy and run it all the way to the second highest office in the land.
They've fallen in love with Sarah Palin.
Yep, Sarah Palin -- former beauty queen, ex-secessionist, small-town mayor turned first-term governor, mother of five, pro-lifer, hunter, gun enthusiast, patriot, Jesus freak creationist, cultivator of the naughty librarian look, and all-around empty vessel.
She's what the hardcore right's been waiting for all this time -- George W. Bush with tits.
She's somebody they can jerk-off to with one hand while they're saluting our troops with the other.
They don't give a shit, ironically, that she couldn't find Iraq on a fucking map and that if ever entrusted with our armies would have the potential to put them -- or help put them -- needlessly in harm's way, seeing as how she doesn't know the first goddamned thing about foreign affairs or homeland security. For Christ's sake, the woman only got a passport a few years ago. You'd think that somebody who lived so close to Russia and therefore understood global politics so well -- as Steve Douchey over at Fox News first claimed -- would at least have sought permission from the fucking U.S. government to travel abroad. Not Palin though, and once again, to her new fans, it doesn't mean shit that she's clueless. It's inconsequential to them that she's basically the least qualified person to ever be given a shot at being a heartbeat away from the highest office in the free world.
No, they don't care because she's got the one quality that the clowns in the base are looking for.
She's just like them.
They see her as a good Christian mom who worries about crap like what books her kids are reading, and if her new neighbors might be gay, and whether the abortion clinic two towns over is open for business, and how many guns she can legally own, and where she'll be when the rapture comes.
And now, of course, how to help her teenage daughter raise the local redneck shithead's baby.
The people Sarah Palin was chosen to appeal to -- if you believe Karl Rove, who got a second wind and whose stubby little fingers are all over this choice -- don't care about her lack of qualifications; they just want to feel like they could sit down and have a beer or a glass of warm milk with her.
If you remember, that's exactly the kind of bullshit non-thinking that gave us eight years of an overgrown frat boy who couldn't find his asshole with two hands and an ass map but who knew how to throw on a cowboy hat and go to NASCAR races or dress up like a fighter pilot and say lunatic crap like "bring it on" just to ingratiate himself to Toby Keith America.
Remember him?
That's the guy who got us into the fucking mess we're in right now -- at home and abroad.
Do you really want another four years of that -- another inexcusable fool who believes that the U.S. is the Almighty's favored nation on Earth, an Earth that's only 6,000 years old?
Do you really want to see essentially the same players having a say in our government that have steered us so wrong for so long?
Sorry folks, but from where I'm sitting the only goddamned difference between Sarah Palin and George Bush is that Bush doesn't whip off his eyeglasses, let down his hair and rip open his blouse whenever he hears Motley Crue's Girls, Girls, Girls.
(As always, the views and opinions of Garth do not necessarily reflect those of Chez, who is in fact a big fan of the naughty librarian look and who always refers to women's tits as "breasts.")
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
And Now, the Last Word (Hopefully) on the Sarah Palin Controversy, from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
Bravo, Garth. You know, I could use a man like you as my VP candidate on the "Awesome" Party ticket. Have your people contact my people, I smell a victory.
Wait...that's just my lunch in the microwave. Still smells nice.
"She's somebody they can jerk-off to with one hand while they're saluting our troops with the other."
Fucking. Classic.
Dear Garth,
I heart you
The Grand Old Bait and Switch
[But what is being called a "maverick" decision by McCain, is in fact just another version of the old Republican game of bait and switch with identity politics. Starting with George H. W. Bush's nomination of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, the GOP has been trying to convince Americans that any "woman," "African American" or "candidate of color" will do. And while the argument can be made that any diversity is better than no diversity, this Republican version is especially egregious because it often appoints minority candidates who vote against public legislation that insure that other members of their group have the same opportunities, choices and paths to success as they did. In effect, diversity, which dismantles affirmative action programs and women's reproductive rights, is the worse form of political fraud.
In 1991, when Thomas succeeded Thurgood Marshall, the Republicans created a new playbook for identity politics. Instead of re-creating an all-white Supreme Court, President George H. W. Bush maintained symbolic racial diversity while also appointing a judge who would vote against long-term diversity measures such as racial preference and affirmative action programs.
Even more cleverly, he nominated a significantly inexperienced African-American candidate whose presence reiterates the anti-affirmative rhetoric of unqualified minorities unfairly taking the jobs of more competent whites. With Thomas, the Republicans not only overlooked the exceptional and better qualified African-American men and women who did exist (and therefore could reinforce the benefits and necessity of affirmative action), but they appointed him with the intent of destroying that racial equity policies for which Marshall has so valiantly fought.]
[Today, as a result of the bait and switch of Thurgood Marshall with Clarence Thomas, many African Americans are more prone to express racial skepticism rather than automatic racial solidarity with even highly qualified black politicians like Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice and Michael Steele because their political conservatism is often at odds with African-American group interest. Likewise, supporters of women's rights need to be pre-emptive and see Palin's nomination as a rejection of long-term gender equality.
In the end, McCain's is not as much a bold move as it is an old page from the Republican playbook.]
Just to fuel your fire you should head over to digg.com and simply search the popular articles pertaining to Palin. You'll find at least a dozen serious reasons to worry beyond what you have mentioned here.
Garth, tell that cheapskate Chez to give you a raise or let you write more often - you absolutely nailed it! I know Americans like to joke about moving to Canada, but hell if McCain/Palin win I'm thinking of leaving Canada and going to Finland! You know, somewhere safer.
Chez, keep doing what you're doing - there's just too much at stake. Very well done this week.
Here is one such round up of some major problems Palin has (not Bristol related).
Garth, Chez is taken and up to his elbows in nappies. But, be still my heart, are you single? I like you even better anyway!
There are now two reasons to be scared completely shitless of a Republican win in the next election.
Still nobody talks about the power hungry cunt Carly Fiorina, advisor to the fossil douchebag himself, McCain. Yeah, we need her sucking up to power.
Now we have the evangelical hypocrite's wet dream, Palin.
There were enough reasons to fear the path that the mainstream morons of this country have allowed to happen and now we have this.
Washington DC needs an enema.
Yeeeahh! F*ck Yeah! Tell it like it is Garth! 4 years of the likes of Palin and I'm the next Robespierre. Screw voting! It'll be time to cut some heads off!
I was raised by people with Palin's mindset. It's WORSE than you think. She will be praying in tongues and then acting on what she thinks Gawd wants her to do to help bring on the Rapture. I am shaking.
There's a piece in Time magazine that takes a look at Palin's church and you're right: the pastor there says they proudly speak in tongues.
I swear it's like living in a fucking surrealist nightmare.
speaking in tongues is part of assembly of god's 16 rules and regs for religious douchebaggery.
brilliant one garth.
Chez: Dude, your nailing it more and more...Not to lessen your writing one bit, but, this extraordinary message now needs to be published in a freakin Trade Rag Smut Publication like "People" magazine or "National Enqirer" which will unfortunately then reach what has become the US swing vote and our growing mainstream...If this vote is even close its official: "This country has sunk to the bottom".
Post a Comment