And Now, an Open Letter to Barack Obama from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth

Look -- enough is enough.

It's time to take a stand.

It's time to get pissed.

I'm not talking about calling-McCain-and-Palin-out-on-just-being-more-of-the-same pissed; I'm talking "You two liars need to shut the fuck up before I put a boot in your ass," pissed. Trust me, a little steely-gazed righteous fury is what's needed right about now -- especially after that new ad the McCain camp just splashed all over TV that basically calls you a pedophile (and make no mistake, that's exactly what it's doing).

The ad, as you already know, bellows that you've done nothing for education other than pen legislation designed to provide "comprehensive sex education" to kindergartners (while showing an image of you appearing to leer lasciviously at children). The first part of that claim in and of itself is bullshit, but it's the second part that's insulting and disgusting in a way that's almost unfathomable -- even for the Republicans. We all know the truth: that the legislation they're talking about is actually an anti-sexual predator measure aimed at making sure kids can recognize when someone's trying to take advantage of them. Well, wait, I take that back. We don't all know this -- and that's the problem. You need to get in front of a fucking camera, or a hundred for that matter, and tell the nation what this is really all about -- then call McCain to the carpet for employing a tactic so low, so despicable that it actually pre-dates that reprehensible turd Karl Rove and is more a throwback to the Willie Horton "controversy" of 1988. You remember how that turned out for Michael Dukakis, right? Don't hear much about him anymore, do you?

What's worse, the Willie Horton ad was racist as hell and was meant to make it look like pussy-liberal Mikey was soft on crime and that some poor white woman had to pay for it by being raped at the hand of a big, dangerous black man. OOGA-BOOGA! SCARY BLACK PEOPLE! Meanwhile, you actually are a black man, so making you look like some beady-eyed Mandingo out to defile the little children of White Suburban America should be easy. In fact it was; the McCain camp just did it. And it's gonna stick too -- unless you get out there and throw down the gauntlet on this kind of crap.

For fuck's sake -- McCain and his retarded Snow Bunny lie about everything in their records -- seriously, just about everything -- and nobody says a word. Many in the press, particularly, stand there with their collective thumb up their collective ass. That's bad enough, but now they're lying about your record, and using soft racism to drive the point home with their lily-livered white base good and hard.

That cannot stand.

So it's time for you to fight back and take no goddamned prisoners. Don't worry that you may be perceived by some as being the "Angry Black Man." Those voters are going to think that anyway; you may have to write them off. But the vast majority of the country will watch, listen and be riveted by your strength and resolve if you point your finger at those responsible for this garbage and let them know that you won't let them get away with it. Period. Not with so much at stake. What you need to do now is fire back hard, stressing that you've got two daughters of your own and that you want to see them protected from criminals, and that you're willing to take whatever steps are necessary to keep them safe -- both through tough law enforcement and, yes, education. Remind everyone of what you are: an angry parent who was just accused of being some sort of pedophile by a gutless old man. If you don't make this clear to voters -- if you don't stand up to the bullshit and put McCain's shameful, dishonorable and unethical campaign in its place (and you know you've got both the balls and the oratory skills to do it oh-so-well) -- you will lose this election.

And God help us all if you do.

Please Mr. Obama, fight back.

Fight back hard and fight back now.

The future of our country depends on it.