Sunday, August 17, 2008

Post Whoredom


I think Joan Walsh perfectly put into words my feelings and fears about last night's command performance by Barack Obama and John McCain at the Saddleback Mega-Church in Orange County, California. The candidates came to prostrate themselves before Pastor Rick Warren and, by proxy, his legion of disciples and their particular belief system. This morning in a Salon.com piece entitled "Are We Now Officially a Christian Nation?" Walsh wrote this about Obama, who's taking the walk-of-shame this morning after being used like a drunk sorority sister last night:

"(Obama) did reasonably well, though not overwhelmingly so. I loved his saying he wouldn't have appointed Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia to the Supreme Court, and his firm support of choice and gay civil unions. He seemed very comfortable talking about his Christian faith. On the other hand, that bothered me a little bit too. I'm not sure why Obama voluntarily sat down for a nationally televised conversation about his private religious faith with a relatively conservative Christian leader, as though that's a reasonable station of the cross, so to speak, for a major American presidential candidate. There's no doubt Rick Warren's congregation has done good things on social justice issues, especially AIDS, but Warren has made no secret of his extreme views on abortion and gay rights (as well as his support for the Iraq war.) Obama visiting the church, speaking there? Smart politics. Attending a nationally televised forum, almost as big deal as a debate, at such a church? I think that was wrong."

Her point, put bluntly: Why should either Barack Obama or John McCain -- let alone both of them -- have to answer to a smugly self-satisfied Rick Warren and his flock? (Besides the most pragmatic of reasons: because they represent a large voting bloc.) If it truly is about a respect for their beliefs, which are no more sound than those of any other religion out there, then why not pander equally to Muslims, or Buddhists, or Hindus, or, for that matter, Atheists? Obama in particular is finding his Christian faith questioned and doubted at every turn by many of the very same people he was forced -- and yes, I'll use that word because it fits -- to put himself in the line of fire of last night.

So why?

If the question of why he allowed it to occur seems too obvious, then try this one: Why have we allowed it? We've seen what happens when our nation is hijacked by one faith above all others and its fundamentalist followers are given an inordinately booming voice in its government. We've lived with the results for eight years. So why aren't the rest of us, the millions and millions of Americans who don't worship at the various altars of Christian dogma, demanding that people like Pastor Rick Warren -- the Oprah of pop-Christianity -- sit the hell down and shut up? Or better yet, why aren't we demanding that our candidates simply not come running like obedient dogs every time someone like Warren snaps his fingers and invokes Jesus and votes and the connection between the two, which apparently will not be denied?

If we're going to continue even further down this path, though -- further than we've already gone -- let's at least be fair about it. I want Obama and McCain to appear before Tom Cruise at a "Scientology Symposium." Xenu commands it.

And after that, they can hit Albus Dumbledore's "Wizard-Con" at Hogwarts to discuss what they plan to do to help protect the country in the coming battle with the Dark Lord Voldemort.

Think this sounds silly? Ask Rick Warren and his church what they believe some time. Trust me: Disneyland isn't the only garish monument to a fairy tale in Orange County.

26 comments:

Nancy said...

Here's one American who DOES worship at the altar of one of America's mainstream churches demanding that Rick Warren sit down and SHUT UP. And quit giving the rest of us a bad name.

Sheesh.

n, np

Gunny Geek said...

"We've seen what happens when our nation is hijacked by one faith above all others and its fundamentalist followers are given an inordinately booming voice in its government. We've lived with the results for eight years."

Not only that, we have many examples going back to the dawn of recorded history. Human history is rife with supernatural concepts, and the effects it has had when practiced in tandem with religion.

Anonymous said...

Yes, why don't you demand of which you speak. Stamp your feet, hold your breath, feel the power.[chuckle]

Anonymous said...

First of all, lumping atheists in with the various religions is unfair. Atheists would never require a candidate to hold any irrational belief, or to make promises based on some text that was written thousands of years ago. All atheists want is for our politicians to make decisions based on what happens in the real world, rather than the fantasy world of sky gods and magic. Surely even a religious person can understand the argument that policy in a non-religious nation should be based on the world we can all agree on.

Secondly, the people who are offended by the Christianization of politics are outnumbered in the United States. Trying to win Kansas without bowing down to the hogwash of zombie Jesus would be like trying to win Miami while refusing to condemn the Fabulous Castro Brothers. You're a Coaster, with major stops in the Metropolitan areas of Florida California and New York State. The people you meet from Kentucky and Tennessee are almost certainly the most cosmopolitan Kentuckians and Tennesseeans those states have to offer. We can't stand up and demand this irrationality come to an end because the irrationals have the majority of the votes and there's no litmus test for not being a drooling moron when it comes to voting.

Or running for office.

Prophet of Ra said...

Chez I really think you hit way off the marker this time. Honestly if you knew ANYTHING about the right religion in the world, you would know that my savior, Harry Potter, has already defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort.

How about you do some research before spouting claims you know nothing about next time.

Alex said...

I only see one minor problem other than the Harry Potter error. There is no "God" in Scientology, instead we call it infinity or the eighth dynamic. Here's a video about it.

As probably the only scientologist that comes everyday, I figured I'd put that up there for your edification.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Chez said...

Dude, I'm so ready to turn my life over to Scientology. We've all seen where a life without LRH Tech has gotten me. May as well.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

...then why not pander equally to Muslims, or Buddhists, or Hindus, or, for that matter, Athiests?

As you know we are a righteous Judeo-Christian culture, founded on the freedom to practice Christianity, barely tolerate Jews (except when we go to AIPAC meetings) and save the world from their (non-Christian) dictatorial ways. Muslims are obviously Terrorists who want to force their religion on others. Hindus, Buddhists and Athiests only need to be spoken to when we go to save them from their misguided ways. Surely, you know all this.

Stephen said...

When is Judeo-Christian Wrestling going to be an olympic event?

Web Dunce said...

Last night's "conversation" between the presidential candidates and the high king of Christian goonery was pretty banal as far as I'm concerned. No big surprises or revelations. McCain was tolerable and Obama once again proved that he is a thinking man and was very frank about his religion and his views on the hot button issues like marriage and abortion. Whether or not the fact that Obama actually uses his gift of cognitive thought to make important decisions was a selling point among a group who all too frequently suspends rational discourse in favor of letting Jesus handle everything remains to be seen.

The strongest impact the program had on me personally was the drinking game I concocted over the three hour extravaganza. Every time someone said "my friends," "remarkable" or "fascinating" I took a drink. Needless to say I was quite plastered by the end of the evening. And might I recommend drinking Absinthe during this type of mental ping pong - it really illuminates the ridiculousness of the whole process like nothing else.

Deacon Blue said...

@ Web Dunce,

Be careful about calling Rick Warren the high king of Christian goonery. I'm not so sure that Joel Osteen might not have his sights on the same throne, and I understand that his wife, Victoria Osteen, can kick some major ass when she gets in a mood.

b80vin said...

I try to be rational and use critical thought when consider politics, but let's take off the kid gloves here:

We are, by a VAST majority, a nation of retards. It is illustrated everyday in a variety of ways, from the way we drive to the way we slurp at the tits of Hollywood. Just a quick partial list: Oprah watchers, Packers fans, Red Sox nation, Creationists and/or intelligent designists, Bush voters, FOX News watchers, Sex in the City fanatics, Next Top Model fanatics...

We live in a country where George Bush, Condoleza Rice AND John McCain all said last week that a country in the 21st century CAN'T invade another country. As far as I know these remarks were didn't get as much attention in the news media as Big Foot's corpse, Michael Phelps excelling at a sport that is important every four years, discussion of Corsi's new swift boat book attacking Obama, or any number of trivialities far less important than the smug official hypocrisy of the Bush administration and it's heir apparent.

Pandering to these idiots, who put the trivial at the top of their priority list, is something that must be done in a Presidential race. Whatever Obama did last night he has been a stalwart in rejecting the idiot pander. If it HAD to happen (and given the Rev. Wright and Muslim question, it did, unfortunately)it is better it happened during the Olympics, at a less zealous church, on a Saturday night.

In Hellenistic Greece kings labored to convince the populace that their rule was not a burden by providing "bread and circuses". The chosen "circuses" were athletic games, like the Olympics. The Roman emperors chose gladiatorial combat. Today, practically every thing we consume is designed to distract us, including "politics". It works because this nation is enamored of its reflection, having no humility to sense its own hubris. Last nights bullshit was, to McCain a symptom, while I suspect to Obama it was an acknowledgment of the disease.

Vermillion said...

Phelpsism. Now that is a religion with some teeth. Does Buddha have eight gold medals? Can Xenu do the 400-meter in record time? I don't think so. He may not walk on water, but he can mosey through it pretty damn fast.

One might say it was miraculously fast.

Phelpsism. Our god may have kinda horse face, but at least his divinity is measured by a stopwatch.*






*Unless you are that crybaby that came in second.

YZF said...

You really don't get enough credit for your blog titles. They're usually clever, but Post Whoredom is off-the-charts brilliant.

b80vin said...

Vermillion, you forgot to add to Phelpsism: considering the fading popularity of grilled cheese sandwiches, Phelps' mom is getting more face time than the Virgin Mary these days. All hail the bottle brunette rummy eyed mother of our savior!

Chez said...

I for one welcome our new prune-fingered, chlorine-soaked overlord.

EthnicRedneck said...

Where do Christians get off acting like a persecuted minority? If you have something called a "megachurch", you aren't exactly showing an image of weakness. The only response to this would be a temple that transforms into a semi or something.

Chez said...

I AM OPTIMUS CHRIST!!!

HIS HOLINESS POPE VOTAR XVI said...

Dude,

if that isn't the best fucking name for a band....

b80vin said...

Your camouflage. Ur doing it wrong:

http://makethelogobigger.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-told-you-they-were-real.html

RottweilerTOM said...

I belong to the Church of Chez, and the day Obama stops his phony bullshit right now and has the balls to address Chex's flock - the politics as we know it [see all of the above] will be just that, politics!

jodi54 said...

Wit and clarity of thought still exists. I am grateful to you and your bloggers for making me laugh over an event that would otherwise have made me cry.

The Faith Forum, with the ridiculous amount of media attention it received, is a new low in American politics. Disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Another briiiliant piece Chez. Bravo.

But really, we all know this isn't about religion. I don't think it's about Mr. Warren either. It's the people behind him with media companies like Time, yes the same publication that had George B Wush The MMan of the Year 2004.

These guys pull the shots. Not Wazza.

Stephen said...

Chez Brockman...well played.

Luke Weiss said...

my brother and i are always trying to figure out which religion is dumbest.

every time i pull out the south park vid about xenu and the origins of scientology my brother trumps me with this elegant and irrefutable stupidity:

literal christians (which includes most fundamentalists) believe that the earth is just over 5000 years old.

tania said...

Wasn't The Rapture supposed to rid us of all these morons in 1984?