Friday, August 29, 2008

Palin Comparison


So John McCain, after all that complaining about Barack Obama not being qualified to lead, picks a 44-year-old political lightweight as his running-mate -- a former beauty pageant runner-up and governor from Alaska in her first term.

Why?

Because she's a woman, and in the apparently senile dream world that McCain now inhabits -- the one where Sarah Palin is comparable to Hillary Clinton and petty tricks win elections -- she'll draw women voters away from Obama.

I think my wife just put it best: "He thinks I'll vote for him just because he put a woman on the ticket? That's insulting."

Not just any woman, though.

One with zero foreign policy experience (compare that with Joe Biden) who would take the reins of the United States and the free world should anything happen to John McCain -- who turns 72 years old today.

America, just go back and watch last night's speech again and wake me on election day.

(Incidentally, is it just me or did Palin in her younger days bear an uncanny resemblance to -- irony of ironies -- Britney Spears? That sound you hear is the Obama campaign dancing a jig and turning cartwheels.)

(Update, 12:48PM: So I just watched Palin's speech: an in-over-the-head hyper-conservative, full of tough talk, who can't pronounce "nuclear," pandering to a crowd that stops every few minutes to chant "USA! USA!" Sound familiar?)

30 comments:

Nancy said...

Possibly your best blog post title ever.

Filled with the usual admiration,
n, np

Terry Heaton said...

At least the VP debate will be, um, interesting.

Mr. Controversy said...

Wow...just wow. Opportunism, hypocrisy, and a dash of misogynism. Yep, typical Repubilcan behavior.

Anonymous said...

Except the media narrative will be how "mean" Joe Biden is to this mother of five. "She has a down syndrome baby!" will be her "5 and a half years!"

dick_gozinia said...

"He thinks I'll vote for him just because he put a woman on the ticket? That's insluting."

Well, Hillary kinda thought the exact same thing.

Incidentally, can we officially coin her as the first potential VPILF? I mean, outside of Spiro Agnew.

Phil said...

The bangs, highlights, and stepford-cheerleader perma-perky face all say "I'm not an elected official, but I play one on tv." Is that sexist? No, it is a symptom of my deep-seated prejudice against pageant people.

I can only think that this pick was calculated to get Biden to say something absolutely unforgivable during the veep debate.

Harris said...

Because everybody wants to spend the next two months talking about Democratic women who can't move the fuck on, we're now going to have the most vagi-centric presidential race in history. Of course, that assumes no one notices that picking a 44-year-old neophyte who runs one of the more corrupt states in the country and has no name recognition or connection to your campaign as your VP isn't a huge and tacky political stunt. On the other hand, she's young, she's cute, she's popped out a bunch of kids (including a retard. Score!) and, most importantly, she's got a vagina. What does all of this mean? I don't know, but my fantasy of a threesome with Cindy McCain and Teresa Heinz-Kerry just became a foursome.

KatyaBell said...

Let's not forget that she is also under investigation by the Republican controlled state legislature for possible abuse of power because she tried to order the dismissal of the state's Public Safety Commissioner when he wouldn't fire her former brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper. There was no real reason for it, just that her sister was going through a nasty divorce and she wanted a bit of payback. As you said, this is the type of person who would be taking over the country if something happened to McCain. Something tells me he wasn't thinking about this. It opens him up to all kinds of attacks, and I see this as hurting him rather than helping.

Way to go on proving that you're just "politics as usual" Mr. McCain. Stay classy.

Stephen said...

VPILF? lol Yes, but right now she's still just a GILF (governor).

Incidentally, not Britney Spears, more like Kristy MacNicol.

Suzy said...

i did miss FSU in college. she used her teeth. i wonder if this lady's got any.... probably not.

the deadliest snatch!

Anonymous said...

I think you're underestimating what this woman can do for McCain's campaign. She brings youth and an "outside the beltway" element to the campaign's image, which we all know is already trying hard to paint McCain as the maverick he is not. She appears to be most famous in Alaska for running on a "clean government" campaign platform. Her clean-up of the Murkowski administration is going to go a long way towards making her look like a legitimate reformist.
Her inexperience and the fact that she really hasn't done anything right besides going after Murkowski will certainly undercut her credibility; however, let's not give the average voter too much credit for intelligence. Your wife may be insulted, but there are plenty of women out there who will go for this because they are just dumb as rocks (see: PUMAs).

Master Mahan said...

So, the McCain campaign really thinks that PUMAs are going to decide this election? Really?

At least this puts all concerns about McCain's health to rest. Don't worry, America! When John McCain succumbs to the icy embrace of death in 2010, the nation will be guided by the steady hand of former beauty queen and nearly one-term governor Sarah Palin!

Mr. Controversy said...

I'd cast my vote as to say she looks like Katherine Heigl...and therefore, should be treated in the same manor: hostily, and snarkily.

sparksinner said...

First off: she looks like Marcy on "Married with Children."

Second: there's plenty of people who will see this as a viable alternative. You know, "Hooray, now I can vote for the old white guy and still say I vote for a historic first in America."

Not your well educated wife, Chez, but as so many of your posts have shown us, not everyone is a smart, independent thinker.

votar said...

Wow.

I just got back in front of a computer after a few hours away, and look what happens. I watched all morning as the MSM spoojed all over themselves trying to keep up with the "Guess Which Private Jet Has My Vice Presidential Nominee In It" scavenger hunt game.

I could not help but think two things.

1. How fucking juvenile is all of this.

2. Sarah Palin? Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please....

I'm with Jayne, I was thinking it all morning long, as I watched the pundits scratch their heads. She chose the word insulting; I keep landing on "cynical."

Seriously, McCain's move here has all the political sophistication of Survivor contestants forming secret alliances to vote their rivals off the island. This is high-school hallway clique bullshit. It's ham-handed sarcasm. It would almost qualify as mean-spirited if it were not so comically inept. What a retard move.

This poor little woman is going to be chewed up and spat out. It's going to be difficult to watch, probably as painful as the ass rape of Admiral Stockdale.

I thought I was ready to soil myself in elation the moment that Biden was confirmed to be the Democratic VP nominee... I had chills watching Obama accept the candidacy last night... Now, I just walk around with that look on my face that Tom Cruise had when he got Colonel Jessup to admit to ordering the Code Red in A Few Good Men.

I can't believe McCain just handed this to us.

dammitjanet said...

Is she related to Michael Palin? That's the only thing that would make me care. What a blatant way to try to get the women's votes!!!!! FAIL!!!!! Hillary never had mine to begin with, so this really won't work with me. What a joke....


What Washington needs is adult supervision. Barack Obama

Deacon Blue said...

You know, if it wasn't...well...the ENTIRE country at stake, I'd almost like to vote for the McCain-Palin ticket in the hopes McCain would die and we'd see how someone of Palin's, ummmm, caliber would run things.

Just as a social experiment of course.

I'm curious if it would be an improvement over Dubya.

Anonymous said...

A problem not solved by liberals is their underestimation of their opponents.
“Bush is dumb”. Well if dumb gets you installed into the office of leader of the free world, I could use some dumb.
Now the threat from Beauty and the Beast is scoffed at. McCain knows what he is doing.

Nick said...

can't wait for the bumper stickers;

"CRYPT KEEPER/MY FIRST SEX TEACHER 2008"

Anonymous said...

OK let me start by saying I am a Democrat. But this woman, IMHO is about as similar to Hillary Clinton as I am comparable to Carla Bruni.

What this choice is comparable to is when Bush tried to put Harriet Miers on the Supreme Court. Yeah, I am sure she is a fine Christian woman, but I don't think she is made for the job. And I don't believe for a moment that people who wanted Hillary will want this woman. It is apples and oranges!

Carol in Indiana of all places

wickedwitch said...

I had really hoped to be able to sit this election out. I'm an independent that, up to this point, wasn't all that impressed with any candidate. Now the wrinkly, old white dude insults my intellect and picks a Barbie wanna-be for a running mate. What the hell? Is he senile already or is someone else making the choice for him. Damn, I really was hoping to avoid being in the jury-duty pool for the next 4 years.

celery said...

at least he didn't pick condie, right?

having said that, it's terrifying that mccain and this anti-choice, nra loving, must-drill-into-wildlife-preserves woman, stand a chance.

chez, given how important it is that the ruling party is ousted, do you think that obama should have selected ms. clinton for vp, and blocked this (easily predictable) republican strategy? if not, then was there another woman of quality, with more experience who could have taken the position? (i don't follow american politics closely enough to answer this).

Anonymous said...

"there are plenty of women out there who will go for this because they are just dumb as rocks (see: PUMAs)."

I agree, and think that all cougars (women over 40), kittens (women under 13), and regular old pussycats (13-29) are also by and large dumb as rocks.

P.S. PUMAs represent the mid-life crisis group of 30-39. This is why they have time to waste in Denver picketing and ranting for a cause with no point or purpose.

P.P.S. Even though I think women are dumb as rocks (Whether it's one week out of the month or all the time), I love you all in spite of that.

schwa242 said...

I think she's a wonderful choice. In selecting her, McCain made a bold move to court the youth vote, what with Alaska being over twenty years younger than he is.

Also dick_gozinia, looks like www.vpilf.com is already up and running.

Suzy said...

michael phelps would've been a better choice.

seriously though, i was on the fence before today but this guy just proved to a whole lotta people that he's not capable of making a formula decision (not even a tough one) that's worth a shit. i mean jesus christ... what the fuck was mccain thinking? women should be insulted at the blatent pandering. i, for one, am.

i think obama comes off as cocky and smug the same way bush does, (and i reeeally don't want to hear people come after me for that because i KNOW he's not like bush in any substantive way). but jesus he's sharp and smart and seems to really be dedicated to doing something different. before today, mccain, in his own way, seemed like he had his own good qualities (less guided by religion, a better-than-working knowledge of washington, etc.) but fuck that. "a proven idiot" is what his campaign slogan should say with this vp pick.

we've needed a thinker in the white house for a very long time. his inexperience will be quickly voided with his first few executive decisions. and now i truly believe that i don't have to like someone who is running for president, but he/she should definitely be bright, passionate and poised. he'll get my vote for that. the opposite, what mccain just proved to us today, is unbearable and unacceptable.

Deacon Blue said...

That anyone can even consider the notion that picking Palin is a "smart" move makes me fear that this country really will ass-fuck itself by going with the McCain-Palin ticket.

There are plenty of Republican women who are in politics and have actual qualifications, legit experience, to run this nation should McCain up and croak.

Damn, even if McCain wants to go for a "young 'un" to court younger voters and horny old men, we'd be better off if he picked Nancy Grace from CNN.

Fifth Generation Leftist said...

I think she's more Joyce Dewitt from Three's Company. And this choice now explains what his captors did to him in Vietnam...they replaced it with the abby-normal brain from Young Frankenstein.

Jubilant Echo was here said...

I would so hit that and if she ever says anything about McCain's hair (or lack off) I am sure he will to.

Suzy said...

oh my god, andrea mitchell just described sarah palin by saying, "she eats MOOSEBURGERS". LOL!

and chris matthews just told a gushing pat buchana to stop referring to a 44 year old female as "girl" and "gal".

there's some serious comedy going on on MSNBC!

Anonymous said...

This ticket speaks to the average American voting zombie.

It's got the pageantry and vacuous glitz of "Dancing with the Stars".

Policy, WTF is that?

Don't shoot the messenger.