Monday, July 21, 2008
Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pretend Cowgirls
Becoming a country star is the musical equivalent of authoring children's books: It's the kind of thing that just about anyone can do serviceably and rake in bags of money, making it the perfect fall-back for the talent-deprived or those who've found their cultural relevancy waning.
Which is what makes it so amusing that Jessica Simpson seems to be failing miserably at it.
The formerly ubiquitous singer, "actress" and canned tuna connoisseur -- famous mostly for having large breasts and blonde hair -- was booed at her first official country music concert in Wisconsin over the weekend. Simpson took to the stage saying, "I don't know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I'm just a girl from Texas," then, apparently forgetting that there were likely at least a few miserable heterosexual men in the audience: "I'm just like you. I'm doing what I love and dating a boy."
To Jess's credit, judging by the number of times she managed to use the word "just" in two sentences, she's all about lowering expectations for this little reinvention of hers.
The crowd was, shall we say, less than roundly impressed. "I'll have to drink a lot of beer to sit through her concert," said one man (although whether he was referring specifically to Jessica Simpson or to, you know, anybody, is unknown).
Added another: "She's an embarrassment to country music."
I'll just let you think about that statement for a minute.