Friday, July 25, 2008

Batshit Crazy

Wow, just -- wow. I'm marking today's date on my calendar and holding on to this so that it can be passed down to future generations.

Behold, what may be the single dumbest thing ever written:

"There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past."

By the way, this isn't a joke (or the Joker); the guy who wrote this is dead serious. I swear I'd try to come up with a more substantial reponse to his piece, but honestly, where to even begin?

Read more of this hilariously mind-boggling crap, if you dare:

( "What Bush and Batman Have in Common" by Andrew Klavan/7.25.08)


trish said...

"One crucified."

Yup... that's my favorite part.

Michael J. West said...

What do we have to give Christopher Nolan to get him to publish a response?

b80vin said...

He's obviously right, Chez. Both Batman and W. have mindless fan-boys.

I love the mental picture of Alfred cleaning up the shit, piss and blood in the torture chamber of the Bat cave. Of course, the author of the piece never refers to it directly, but it's there if I understand his pushing "the boundaries of" those silly "civil rights". The immeasurable "moral courage" of George Bush is also a great attribute Batman shares. They both lie and live in shadowy realms of identity and responsibility. They seem to differ in that Batman seems to put some thought into the idea of "innocence", while George Bush seems to side with the Joker on that front.

I couldn't read the whole thing but from what I read he fails to mention that they both fight larger than life cartoon villians, the evil empire versus the Legion of Doom, Sadam Hussein and his great nuclear minions versus the Joker, etc.

Regardless, I think it shows great "fortitude and moral courage" to ignore the ramifications of comic book fiction and George Bush's error ridden reality. Andrew Klavan and the D.C. Comics section of the Wall Street Journal should be praised.

Captain Babypants said...

I just died a little inside.

Izar Talon said...

That is painfully stupid.

cornucrapia said...

Oh man
Why can conservative values only be depicted in a fantasy land? I think that kind of answers his own question.

Mary said...

I thought you were exaggerating, but you weren't :|

Paul said...

Does it seem odd that Andrew Klavan has an eerily similar last name and, apparently, a similar train of thought, to the king of the non sequitur and font of useless knowledge, Cliff Clavin?

texirishrose said...

"... it looks kind of like ...a 'W.'"

I'm pretty sure there's also a "T" and an "F" following the "W."

Phil said...

Ah yes. Having fucked up the real world significantly with their political fantasies, they will now go on to taint decent precincts of the fantasy world with their politics.

Shut up, Andrew. I'm trying to enjoy the movie.

Erica Dee said...

Can you delete my previous comment?

yeah, and actual Americans wholeheartedly agree with the author of this garbage.

I don't understand why all conservatives think that all democrats beg for and take handouts from anyone. (read the comments on the link above) I work 9 hours a day 7 days a week and I never ask for handouts, ever.

Eileen said...

Sadly, a lot of people think this. My roommate's boyfriend, for instance, tried to convince me that Bush = Batman and Iraq = Gotham. It's just... sad. I was like you and just couldn't even respond to him.

Anonymous said...

He actually makes some good points in that article... if reality were a comic book. Unfortunately it's not, and even in its most idealized form, the excesses of the Bush administration cannot be compared to one man fighting a battle against increasingly poor odds, and taking the blame to protect the honor of a fallen hero. This article is what happens when you close your eyes to the truth and imagine things the way you want them to be, instead of analyzing what the hell you're going to say and going "Wow, that was stupid. Glad I didn't write that down where someone could read it."

Fifth Generation Leftist said...

I think people this batshit crazy should not breed.

Anonymous said...

Some comparisons between the Batman character and Bush are valid (though I haven't seen the movie yet).

Both have been compared to sociopaths.

Both had rich parents.

Both (depending on the writer) speak in black and white terms.

Hell, one of Bush's excuses for going after Saddam was that Saddam tried to kill his dad.

Anonymous said...

I didn't read the article but I felt while watching the movie that it had some pro-Bush Administration stuff going on. It defended simialr reactions to terrorist threats and seemd to glorify and apologize for those who bend the law to save the many while endagering the few. I loved the movie and I hate HATE Bush, but I definitely was taken out of the moment when I heard the rhetoric that I recognized hearing form this adminsitration. Anyone else or am I just crazy?

Anonymous said...

OMFG, I'm Stunned but I would suggest that as long as we are going to use comics and cartons for debate (grimace) What is the authors take on what happening in the Buffy comics or better still watch the JLA cartton episode of the "Justice Lords" nuff said about stupid ideas being misrepresented.

Nika said...

Clearly that pencil trick is an analogy for what Bush has done to America.

jrm78 said...

Well, they're not the first to notice similarities between Bush and Batman. (link goes to video)

Found c/o fark.

Anonymous said...

"I just died a little inside."

Me too. Can we just kill him?

Anonymous said...

Of course, the movie had some analogies to Bush and the war on terror, but the one that jumped out at me first was Lucius Fox's dislike of the cell phone SONAR network, which is analogous to my disdain for Bush's wiretapping program.

I took the movie's portrayal of the eavesdropping as a negative, but I guess I could see how a right-winger could see it as a necessary tactic. *Sigh*

Vermillion said...

Interesting topic.

Batman willingly took on the negative attention even though he did his best to save as many people he could against a man he knew was dangerous and unpredictable. He also listened to his adviser and, knowing that he would be tempted to use it again, gave up full control of the all-seeing surveillance to someone he could trust, especially since said person didn't agree with him methods. In the end, he chose to go it alone, disowned by his own friends and allies, because he would rather let a dear friend keep his good name than lose all the hope they built up.

Bush preened for six years and let his lackeys do his dirty work of calling anyone who disagreed with him a traitor or a terrorist. Anybody who dissented was harassed and bullied into silence until their number became too great to ignore. He sent numerous men and women to their deaths on a fishing expedition at best. Instead of owning up to his mistakes, he pawned them off on incompetent and/or weaselly subordinates. The only reason he is "alone" per se is because most countries realized what a dolt he was, and their anger at his antics superseded their fear that he would get them next.

Yeah, so many similarities.

P.S. I didn't know New York had a Chez-signal. Just no Chez-nipples, please.

Anonymous said...

Batman = George Bush = Jesus Christ!

Fantasy = Right wing politics = The Bible!

This guy's got it right!

Anonymous said...

What's worse is that this isn't the first time I've heard of Bush-zombies picking out their favorite "Conservative" movies. And by that same token, insulting the movies they believe to be the most "Liberal." (V for Vendetta the latter list.)

'da Blues said...

Maybe Klavan was thinking of the Adam West version of Batman when making this comparison?

/just thinking out loud

Anonymous said...

Seriously guys, Bush isn't that bad. And, everytime you pay out on the him and his administration, you blind yourself to the truth. That truth is that Bush is a man who under great resistance did what he thought was right, he thought was right for the country and right for the world.

Isn't Batman like that?

So here is some friendly advice. Step out of your strait jackets, your padded rooms and stop taking your medication, then you too will see how wonderful Bush really is.

Mummy??? MUUUUUUUMMYY!!!!!

I'm scared.

Chez said...

My brain is still trying to reboot from the catastrophic damage done to it by Klavan's column, so I'm in no position to refute his inanity right now.

But joestrummerlives over at a blog called "Give 'Em Enough Rope" unleashes this gem: "For starters, when the Joker comes for Batman, Batman does not go off and pick a fight with the Penguin."

Oh, and a commenter at the site says that George W. Bush isn't Batman -- he's Leroy Jenkins.


sheriff bart said...

I think we've all been epically trolled.

That Leroy Jenkins bit made me do the coffee-through-the-nose trick.

It's funny because it's true, kids.

Deacon Blue said...

One thing Batman certainly has that Bush patently ignores:

A no-kill rule.

Also, the Wayne Foundation actually did a lot of charitable stuff in the fictional city of Gotham...Bush is really only good at taking money and power and health out of the hands of the working folks and into those of the rich.

There have been two supreme national tragedies in the past eight years:

One was 9/11, which instead of being properly responded to was turned into an exucse to lock up many innocents, trample on civil liberties and declare a war that didn't need to be fought.

The other wes the drowning of New Orleans, which Bush let wallow in misery while FEMA collectively trimmed its toenails and jacked off.

Anonymous said...

Actually Paul Bremer was Leeroy Jenkins. No, no, Alberto Gonzales was.

The world of comics and fantasy is a great context in which to sort out the W administration - 911, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Guantanamo and rendition and the rest of it. At least, for those who have not already passed judgment. If "The Dark Knight" is not analogous to Bush and terror, then it's a missed opportunity.

nomadnewyork said...

Clearly, George Bush thinks that he's Batman.

Colombo said...

If only he was as hot as Christian Bale