Saturday, June 21, 2008
The Centurion Candidate
Over the past several months, I've written only occasionally about the current race for the White House. Sure, lately the number of pieces having to do with the upcoming presidential election have increased, and I haven't held back when it comes to criticizing the actions of some candidates while lauding those of others -- but Deus Ex Malcontent has yet to officially endorse any particular person.
So, for the office of President of the United States, I'm getting behind a man with a lengthy military record.
A man who spent time in an enemy prison camp and was severely tortured, leaving him both physically and emotionally scarred.
A man who has serious anger management issues and is quick-tempered to the point of being slightly unhinged.
A man who's often confused about just who the enemy is, makes glaring misstatements, and sometimes can't seem to think clearly.
A man who once called for a long, drawn-out, win-at-all-costs war, even going so far as to contemptuously dismiss any political dissent.
A man who, despite his impressive title, doesn't have the full support and confidence of his peers.
A man who's had a contentious, volatile relationship with his wife, an aging bottle-blonde he blames for publicly humiliating him and against whom he's resorted to at least one unspeakable act that he now refuses to talk about.
A man who can't make a decision without first consulting his friend and superior, and who would likely attempt to continue the kind of rule that's been in place for the past several years, simply because he doesn't know anything else.
A bitter and angry old man with a practically non-existent head of thin white hair and a knack for contorting his face into a near-perpetual steely grimace.
So, who is this man?
Well, of course, he's...
Colonel Saul Tigh.
Why, who did you think I was talking about?
Vote Tigh in '08.
He has a plan.