Friday, May 16, 2008
A Modest Proposal
I'll make this quick and dirty.
Can we finally beat the living shit out of George Bush?
I realize that the mere suggestion of physical aggression toward a sitting president -- regardless of its basis in satire -- is often likely to warrant some kind of response from the Secret Service. But honestly, haven't we reached the point where we can come together as a country and just admit that this particular president really needs a serious ass-kicking? Over the past eight years, he's lied to push us into a war that's killed thousands of Americans and destroyed our reputation around the world, trampled our civil liberties, drowned the city of New Orleans, decimated the economy, halted scientific progress in the name of idiotic superstition, murdered the English language and through bald-faced incompetence, fucked us in every way possible while turning the same smug smirk our way over and over again as he does it -- and now he says he's given up golf in a show of solidarity with our war-ravaged troops and is comparing Barack Obama, a guy who was smarter in Pre-K than Bush is today, to those who tried to appease the Nazis in the lead-up to World War II (this last obscene indignity commited on foreign soil, essentially a violation of a gentleman's agreement aimed at preventing petty infighting in front of the neighbors).
By this point, every possible argument against the policies of George W. Bush has been made; rational Americans have attempted any and all tactics to force this White House to acknowledge the harsh reality of its idiocy, irresponsibility and illegality. Basically, we've tried everything -- and nothing's worked; the will of the people just deflects harmlessly off the force field generated by Bush's gargantuan ego as filtered through his miniscule intellect.
So really, if somebody has a better idea I'm all ears -- but I'm pretty sure we've run out of options. I just don't see Bush understanding anything other than a shitload of us stomping his arrogant ass into the ground. Guys like him, Cheney, Rove -- hell, even Condi (who's more masculine than all the aforementioned men put together) -- sleep like babies every night, safe in the knowledge that their mastery of the art of misdirection and obfuscation has left them untouchable to anyone constrained by the rules of civilized society. The only thing left then is to say fuck it, stop playing by the rules and get all uncivilized.
George Bush has never been much more than a tough-guy wanna-be -- an alcoholic pussy who runs crying to Daddy or Jesus when things get hard and/or when he fucks everything up; no matter the weight of his current title, he's still basically the same silver spoon-fed frat boy douchebag he's been since day one.
And you know the best way to deal with guys like that, right?
So come on America. Words will never hurt him (particularly not the ones in the Constitution) -- but sticks and stones should still do the trick nicely.
(For Entertainment Purposes Only ☺)