Thursday, May 15, 2008
I Am the Goddess of Hellfire, and I Bring You...
So, you know how the first couple of rounds on American Idol are always dedicated to those cringe-worthy circus freaks who don't seem to display a shred of talent, yet who still labor under the delusion that they've got what it takes to win and wind up making complete fools out of themselves?
Among those poor, sad souls -- you know the overweight black girl in tasteless clothes with the badly and brightly colored hair who invariably gets up in front of everyone and shrilly screams her way through a really lousy song no one's ever heard of while bouncing all over the place, only to be laughed at by the stunned judges, forcing her to storm off while insisting to a pitying America that she's gonna be a star one day -- you just wait?
Well, guess what?
At least one of them was right -- because she went on to fucking win American Idol.
Seriously, watch this "performance" from underachieving former Idol winner Fantasia on last night's show and say to yourself the same thing that Jayne, myself and Simon Cowell did (watch for the hysterical look on his face):
WHAT... THE... FUCK?!
A hearty congrats to Fantasia; in three short minutes, she managed to pulverize the credibility of American Idol more handily than Sanjaya Malakar, Jason Castro and that "Vote for the Worst" website combined.