Friday, May 30, 2008

Bad Sex

It's the little things in life that make it worth living.

Like the fact that The New York Times -- let me repeat that: The New York Times -- just called the new Sex and the City movie "vulgar, shrill, deeply shallow -- and, at 2 hours and 22 turgid minutes, overlong."

While I'll avoid the obvious joke about anyone keeping it "turgid" for 2 hours and 22 minutes with someone whose face looks like it should have a bag of oats strapped to it, I appreciate the irony of these drag queen look-alikes and their legion of vapid fans being pimp-slapped by the paper of record for the city they worship so unabashedly.

It's sort of like Big suddenly turning and pushing Carrie down a flight of stairs.

(The New York Times: Sex and the City Review/5.30.08)


el medico said...

I am amazed how such a shitty show ever caused so much fanfare. There were moron women all over who formed a posse to go drink cosmos and then refer to each other as Carries or Samanthas etc.

It was interesting the posse was always four women and each one was one of the personas of the show - except they all had crappy shoes and outfits. Me - screw it I would like a posse of Samanthas albeit better looking and younger.

Erica Dee said...

As a huge fan of Sex & The City I thought it was scrappy to say the least. I always felt in the TV version they had a fifth girlfriend and that was Manhattan, it seems like there was no Manhattan, just a few set designs and a flash of the NY Library.

I recently moved from the area that is Westchester and used to work in Manhattan, there is no feeling like floating across the West Side highway at 2 a.m... I wanted to see more Manhattan.

Go ahead bask in the glory that is failure.

Erica Dee said...

First of all.
I have to say that I appreciate a good pair of shoes and those shoes that graced that show could make an ogres feet look beautiful. So go ahead and judge me.

Even though I am in the throes of debt/poverty I have finally purchased your book. Please don't die by any weird crane-plane-automobile accidents until I can criticize you.
I'm done now.

Ginger said...

I dunno, the NYT ain't the paper it used to be. Getting praise - or a diss - just doesn't pack the same punch.

Speaking of punch, way to work violence against women into your post! Cute. Normally, I love your blog, but come on. That was beneath you.

Stephen said...

Is "Sex and the City Week" finally over? FUCKING SHOOT ME....SHOOT ME NOW!!!!
I welcomed the unfortunate breaking news this morning to take me away like a calgon bath from the "big story" that was the s.i.t.c. premiere. We had a reporter at the theaters at 2am after the midnight show for reaction. Honest to goodness cross-dressers were interviewed.

Remember Kim Catrall in Porky's as the nympho gym teacher? Typecast much?

Chez said...

Ginger -- the whole point of this site is to prove that, really, nothing is beneath me.

And I don't consider pimp-slapping the Sex and the City-ites to be violence against women.

Animal abuse maybe...

dammitjanet said...

A friend emailed a bunch of us at the beginning of the week, saying what a big fan she was of this idiotic slut-fest and how she had been DYING waiting for this movie to come out and did a group of us want to get together and go see it? My reply? I would rather eat my son's shoes. If you have ever been around the shoes of a 13 year old boy, you know how serious that is.

And, I am SOOOOO sick and tired of the media talking about all the "women" who just can't wait for this and who will be lining up around the block (Yeah, thanks Meredith Viera) to see this stanky turd dressed in horrid designer rags. Umm, I don't know what brain-dead Romero-type zombie bitches you are talking about, media-heads, but my REAL friends and I will be staying away in droves. I think if I do see a movie this weekend, it will be "Ironman," again. I much prefer action and explosions to horsefaced horny twats. Kill me and re-animate me when they are gone for good.....and can they take Victoria Beckham with them? She looks like she belongs.

Chez said...

Man, and I get crap for being so caustic about these women. : )

VOTAR said...

I just spent a little time at my favorite Friday happy hour joint down the street from my office, where it was packed to the gills with stupid ugly women all trussed up in their muffin-top jeans and sparkly baby-doll shirts to tie on a martini or five before herding en masse over to the next door movie theatre. The bartender, a friend of mine, was ecstatic. Not, as you'd expect, because there were hordes of dumb broads to oggle all around us. No.. because he was charging them double for their drinks and the vapid little wastes of human flesh were too hyped up on giggly pre-satc endorphines to do simple math.

Also, I saw Iron Man.

Anonymous said...


Sheriff Bart said...

"It's sort of like Big suddenly turning and pushing Carrie down a flight of stairs."

I like where you're going with this, Chez, but for Ginger's sake let's replace "down a flight of stairs" with "in front of a bus".

Captain Babypants said...

Fuck Sex in the City. I'm getting drunk on rum tonight and seeing The Strangers tomorrow while I nurse my hangover.

Ally said...

Ok, so I'm late on this one (Hey, I've been fucking busy having surgery), but here's my two pennies:

Big was the ONLY good thing about that show, which I confess to having watched maybe twice. He is totally deelish, even if he does have poor taste in taking roles.

And, as simple and non- fashionable as I may be, I have a very low level of respect for any woman I know who wants to see this. Luckily, I hang with a crowd of winners. It never even came up in any convos with my friends.

Btw -Cosmos are so gag - like being on a sugar high. Drink a fucking real martini. Beefeater and an olive all the way, baby. I like my martini hard, clear and salty (just like I like my men). Leave the snowcone syrup at home, Carrie & Crew.

Carry on.