Saturday, March 22, 2008

Three on Ten


As is tradition on Easter weekend, ABC's airing all 14 hours of the most celebrated B-movie ever made tonight: Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments. Here now, three quick thoughts on it.

1. Heston rules. He's to melodrama what Busey is to batshit crazy.

2. When I was a kid, I had the biggest crush on Nefretiri. Anne Baxter is so fucking hot in this movie, and my lust for her character probably set the stage for a 30-year addiction to vengeful, treacherous bitches.

3. You know, leave it to the Jews to spend 400 years complaining about the pain of being in bondage instead of actually doing something about it.

(Relax kids -- they're just jokes. By the way, the picture came up when I Google Image Searched "The Ten Commandments.")

8 comments:

Marilynn said...

Oh Chez, Chez, Chez....you had to go all the way to page eight to get the boob ten commandments. Would it have been a bit easier, as my husband suggests, to Goggle, "Ten Commandments Big Boobs, Ten Commandments Big Honkers or maybe Ten Commandments Nefertiri." Did you mean the biggest crush on Nypo's instead of Nefertiri? - LOL!

Oh God, typed in Ten Commandments Big Boobs and I was had to preview this: http://www.robinabowlsclub.com/wed1.jpg

Have a great weekend.

Nathan said...

I always wondered why they didn't just let Dathan wear his fedora and carry his tommy gun.

Chez said...

Where's yur messhiah noooow she?

Where's yur MOSES noooooow?

VOTAR said...

Let them make bricks without straw!





So let it be written... so let it be done.

kelley said...

yeah, I was wondering about that pic, as couldn't recall the scene where the burning bush walked the israelite ladies through the process of checking for lumps

Fifth Generation Leftist said...

Hmm...I was wondering where the breast exams came into the story, didn't think I slept through that many religion classes in Catholic school.

Heston really is the best ham actor on the planet-I love Shatner as well, but he unfortunately is #2.

Chris said...

I loved it when Anne Baxter practically orgasmed every time she said "Moses." So deep... so throaty...

It's because of her that in the heat of passion, instead of crying out "Oh, God! Oh, God!" I just keep repeating "Moses!" This explains why I'm alone a lot...

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who wanted Anne Baxter in this movie so bad he could taste it.