Thursday, December 20, 2007
Rudy Giuliani shouts "Me want food!" before tearing into the skull of a young boy, thus ushering in the Zombie Apocalypse
St. Louis, MO (AP) -- Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani was admitted to a Missouri hospital late Wednesday night with what doctors initially called "flu-like" symptoms.
Giuliani campaign spokeswoman Kate Levinson says the former New York City mayor began complaining of the symptoms -- which included fever, stomach cramps and an apparent slowed blood pressure -- shortly after a campaign stop in Kansas City. It was decided that he should be taken to the Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis for a series of tests.
Doctors have been reluctant to talk publicly about what they believe might be wrong with Giuliani, although one, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that as far as he could tell, the candidate was suffering from "some kind of acute and extremely virulent strain of rabies."
Less than an hour after Giuliani's admission to the hospital, unmarked vans began arriving and cordoning off the surrounding area and parking lot; several armed men dressed in what appeared to be biohazard suits were also seen entering the double doors of the emergency room.
Since then, almost no information has been made available to the media, aside from an official statement from a representative of the United States Army Medical Research Institute for Infectious Diseases claiming that the situation is "under control."
(You've gotta give me credit for being able to reference both 30 Rock and World War Z in the same post.)