Friday, November 02, 2007

Who Sold the Dog Out?


I could go on for hours about the sheer perfection of every single facet of the controversy currently swirling around Duane Chapman -- better known as "Dog the Bounty Hunter," a name which is no doubt spoken by uneducated trailer trash with the same kind of fearful hush that the vampires in Blade mentioned "The Daywalker."

The fact that anyone is shocked to learn that a guy who wakes up every morning and immediately decides that he wants to look like a roadie for Molly Hatchet might be inclined to throw around a racial slur when he thinks nobody's listening is shocking in and of itself.

Also not surprising is all the bullshit outrage and phony self-righteous indignation that's coming from network executives who -- as in the case of irrelevant boob Don Imus -- knew exactly what they were getting when they gave Dog his own show and now have the colossal balls to suddenly feign a shred of decency and some semblance of standards.

And finally, anyone who was aghast to find out that Dog's own son sold him out to the National Enquirer hasn't been paying attention lately. This marks the third time in the past year that a kid has betrayed the trust of a father by taking what would've, and should've, been a private family moment and using readily-available new media to shame him into submission. Whether you agree with Dog's admittedly Deliverance-esque opinions doesn't matter in the least; it was never for you to decide in the first place -- not based on a personal conversation between father and son.

I've mentioned this phenomenon before; feel free to take a look: (Big Daughter is Watching You/05.04.07)

13 comments:

RottweilerTOM said...

I'm sorry. Am I supposed to be paying attention to rednecks running around Hawaii looking for parole violations?

VOTAR said...

The sedimentary layers of irony that you find when you deconstruct this one are utterly fascinating.

The semi-prescient concern that "Dog" has that his comments will be taken out of context and sold to the very tabloid outlet to...which...they... were actually sold...

That the very context of his comments are, literally, about their very context...

That if you REALLY stop and study what he said, he's actually expressing a very real concern for (bear with me) the reaction and sensibilities of the girl in question, because yes, he -- and his Benedict Arnold son -- happen to be fucking bounty hunters, and oh by the way when you spend your life chasing down and tackling fugitives and criminals, sometimes people say naughty wittle words....

That the Trusted Name in News, the Fair and Balanced News, and all the other major corporate-owned media outlets that are charged with providing the rest of us with actual NEWS, have given this very non-NEWS event even a millisecond of air time...

That grown ups my age and older are paid to look at me through a camera lens and speak like kindergarten children. The word is nigger. Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger.... Two syllables. Six letters. Vibrating compression waves in the atmosphere. You sad sad sad little people....

That Sharpton and Innis and Jackson and all the rest of the ministers from the Super Offended Squad of Justice have another reason to burp hot air into a camera lens yet again...

You're right, Chez, every facet of this is shear crystalline perfection.

Lorenzo said...

I thought Eric Cartman was the Dog?

Jen said...

My first exposure to the kid ratting out the dad scenario was back in the 90's when I did internet tech support. I got a call from a dad who wanted to know how his kid got his hands on the racy emails the guy had been sending his mistress. The kid showed up at the breakfast table with an inch thick pile of print-outs and handed them to his mom. There's nothing new under the sun.

Swami Dearest said...

But did he eat a sandwich off the floor while he said the N word? 'Cause THAT would be GOLD, baby.

Dave said...

No my dear swami, pure gold would be him saying nigger while rolling around spraying indiscriminate bystanders with sandwich crumbs from his mouth while laughing like a kid with Downs.

Monique said...

Thank you.. it was everything I expected it would be and more... ;)

Randy said...

Hypocricy is a wonderful thing. I suppose the network executives are operating in the realm of those hypocricies most of us are willing to live with. It's like when I caught some teenagers smoking pot at the neighborhood playground in broad daylight, across the street from a cop's house, while I was tending to my young children. I felt like explaining the concept of acceptable adult hypocricy to those pot-smoking kids; something like, "look, I don't care if you smoke whatever you want out behind the dumpster at midnight, but I don't want to see it."

Mika said...

The son is just living the capitalist dream... make money any way possible, no matter who you step on to get there. but that's just my opinion.

Kate Michele said...

Delurking on this one because its all so ironically funny. Didn't he JUST have a book publish on the Christian sector? Ohhh how that speaks volumes....

Chez said...

Oh Monique -- I always wondered what it would be like to hear you say that sweetie. : )

Vermillion said...

Wait, so Dog The Bounty Hunter uses bad words? And they only found out now? Gee willikers, you can't trust anyone these days, huh Wally?

I mean, if you can't believe a man who chases down criminals for money, carries a tanker truck full of mace and rocks a mullet even larger is the epitome of PC attitudes, then truly the end is nigh.

As far as your complaint about Sharpton et al, Votar, no need to worry. Because guess who was the first person Mr. Chapman called after the story leaked in order to help him craft his apology?

What I want to know is: does this mean the black girlfriend Can come around now, since the story got leaked anyway? Since they are telling us every goddamn thing about their personal lives now.

Cate said...

Here is what I think ... Dog has been on TV tracking down deadbeat for sometime now. He's got some money in the bank. He thinking he will take his little honey, Beth, and find some way to retire. After all, he is under contact and just can't walk away without penalties. I mean, who really wants to live in Hawaii with the high prices, and all those Jap, anyway? So, his son is needing some money, and he might have asked his dad for a loan. They cook up this scheme and there you have it. The kid has a mill, and the Dad is free to run off into la la land with his trampy wife. By the way, does this guy have like 16 kids, there's always a new one popping up. Right now, they are prolly packing up to move to Haines City, Florida to live in a upscale trailer park. They will even have one of those "you have to see it to believe it" porches. How could this not have been rehearsed? The kid did every fucking thing in the tape. I could careless what happened to Dog, Beth, and their 16 kids. What is that crap in his hair? Frankly, and I think I have been frank already, I don't care if they remove the show. I never watched that senseless crap! Finally, if it is all true, and I would never believe that it is, he should have been a better father instead of spending all that time in jail, and running out on his family!