Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Something Fucking Awesome This Way Comes


I'm just positively giddy with excitement over the new trailer for J.J. Abrams's no-longer-top-secret project -- now officially named Cloverfield.

The HD version of it that's now available on Apple's trailer site allows you to watch the action frame-by-frame, which of course I've already done several times. My favorite image by far -- the one that made me literally bust up into hysterical cackling while sitting at my desk this morning -- is of the building I work in half-collapsed, with various sheets of paper and debris raining down.

This will be the first true "New York City Gets its Ass Kicked" movie since 9/11 -- and, from the way things look, the best ever of that thoroughly enjoyable genre.

I'm just hoping that whatever huge creature it is that's tearing apart my home in the film -- it has the good sense to stomp on those stupid bitches from Sex & the City.

(See the new Cloverfield trailer in HD here.)

13 comments:

VOTAR said...

Slusho Zoom!

(You can't drink just six!)

Eric said...

So did you see the monster? Everyone keeps saying there's a frame in which you get a partial view but I didn't see it and I see no screen caps of it yet.

VOTAR said...

http://cloverfieldclues.blogspot.com/

There is only one extremely split-second image of the monster apparently walking behind a building. Early breathless blog hype seems to agree on a turtle-ish looking biped (which is rather silly at face value, so I have to agree with the fanboys out there that this had better be one scary as hell bad-ass giant turtle!).

The other elements of what we have been shown are far more disturbing though...suggestions of internal parasites making their way out of hapless human victims.

"Nothing better than deep sea slushy drink... Seabed's nectar changed my way of thinking... I'm so happy and full of Slusho that I might burst"

Chez said...

GAMERA!!!!!

S. said...

NO! Not Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda!!!

Who will the fine youth of our great city have left to emulate??

Chez said...

Oh I'm sure some other cadre of vapid, taste-challenged whores would quickly fill the void.

prophet of ra said...

OK.. generally I'm not big into scary movies... but seriously.. this looks amazing, I plan to be there opening night.

VOTAR said...

Here, in no particular order, are the things about this movie that keep a no-life-having guy like me up til 4am thinking:

1) We will probably never get to see the monster in more than very brief glimpses. Much like in "Signs" the monster attack might be the backdrop for the human story being told. And as with "Blair Witch," it is not so much being told as presented as found evidence of actual events long after they have occurred (the army's reference to Central Park in ominous past tense, for example, and the suggestion that the video footage of soldiers has been redacted and pixelated prior to release by the government to obscure the identity of military personnel).

2) It is intended to portray an actual extraordinary historical event in as close to the way that you and I would experience it as possible. The characters in the movie all have MySpace pages and blogs and online photo albums; right now as you read this you can also go find their blogs and follow their conversations. In other words, what we will see on January 18th is meant to be understood to be happening to all of us "real people" on that day. We wouldn't be concerned, or even aware, of the efforts of the military or some clever dashing scientist who finds the answer in a dramatic climax, or of the President leading a ragtag squadron of drunken crop dusters to make a heroic last stand for humanity. Anyone who's been through a natural disaster, or something like 9/11, thinks first and foremost about survival and resourcefulness.

3) The character for whom the surprise party will be thrown on 1-18-08 (Rob?) is leaving for Japan, according to the clues that have been pieced together. There's a guy at the party wearing a Slusho t-shirt. Slusho is an imaginary product produced by an imaginary Japanese company called Tagruato Inc. (all of these have their own websites). It is commonly believed that this character is leaving to start a career working for Tagruato in their marketing department, to popularize Slusho here in America. Aside from owning Slusho, the Tagruato multi-national portfolio also includes companies that drill for resources at the ocean floor. The Slusho website makes humorous references to the product containing an ingredient (possibly with mood-enhancing qualities like caffeine) that is harvested from the deep sea (and therefore probably alive). The new trailer strongly suggests the possibility of someone literally bursting apart from the inside, perhaps from something expanding or pushing its way out. In other words, by the start of the events in the movie, we've all been unwittingly consuming the parasites that will at some point decide to become bigger, scarier creatures (I sooooo want to see them selling Slusho at the concession counter of the movie theatre when I go there!). How does that have anything to do with a 200 foot tall monster smashing through New York? Maybe nothing, but...

4) On the Tagruato website there is a map of the various locations where they are currently drilling on the ocean floor, and one of these, which supposedly became fully operational in September of this year, is roughly due east of New York.

5) Tagruato is an unlikely Japanese word; I remember reading it's something called katakana which how the Japanese make words phonetically for expressions in western languages for which they have no syllables. Godzilla became popular as that monster's name essentially by being mispronounced by westerners; its correct name is Gojira. Tagruato, if it means anything at all, is also an anagram for TORTUGA, which means turtle.

6) It is extremely likely that except for conversations like this and elsewhere on the internet, none of this backstory material will be in the movie, which means that for most audience members it'll just be some stupid monster movie that they don't quite understand, but yo dogg, did you see that bigass mofo monstah blow up dat building yo? Mark my words now, Fox News will decry Cloverfield as Anti-American leftist Hollywood propaganda (while tittering gleefully at the destruction of their rival's headquarters...), and restaurants will add "Freedom Turtles" and pancakes shaped like the statue of Liberty ("with the head back where it belongs!...We Will Never Forget!") to their menus.

Swami Dearest said...

I thought that Sex And the City was about scary monsters destroying NYC.

Chez said...

Votar my friend, you really need to get blown.

VOTAR said...

Who says I'm not getting blown?

She'll probably want to do it in the theatre when I'm watching Cloverfield, wearing my Slusho hat.

Paul said...

Somewhere 9-year old girls are discussing Hannah Montana with the same breathless enthusiasm you rumored grownups are using to discuss this movie. That said, I was very excited when Chez showed me our building getting knocked down.

Danny said...

Yes! Yes! PLEASE stomp the dog snot out of those Sex in the City tramps! THAT alone would be worth the price of admission!

D