Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Skeleton Key


In addition to all the other brilliant things that he said throughout his lifetime, George Bernard Shaw offered up what could be the most insightful advice ever given on the subject of surviving the trials and tribulations of love, marriage and family.

He insinuated that if you can't keep a skeleton in the closet, the smartest thing you can do is teach it how to dance.

As many of you know, my wife Jayne and I have been going through a period of very serious turmoil recently. I've made no attempt to either hide or downplay this fact during the past couple of months.

In spite of the fact that I reveal so much of my personal life here on this site, prudence would suggest that I keep any positive news on the relationship front to myself, pending a little breathing room. But given that both Jayne and I have received so many e-mails, comments and MySpace messages with warm wishes -- and I really can't express how much I appreciate the outpouring of support -- I feel like I should at least keep those who care filled in.

Although we can offer no guarantees and are operating solely on the "One Day at a Time" plan, Jayne and I have made the mutual decision that our marriage is worth working on -- that we're worth working on. Despite our seemingly intractable declarations of separation and possible divorce (and please understand that at no point should the seriousness of those claims ever have been in question) both of us understand and accept our responsibilities to ourselves, to our families and to the promise we once made to each other.

As for how we feel about one another: Love was never the problem, although who knows -- in the end, maybe it'll be the solution.

Once again, there are no assurances, but when are there ever?

For the time being, at least we have our dance partners back.

32 comments:

Snowy said...

YEAH!!!!! It's about GODDAMN TIME...you were a pain in my ass! :-)

Much love and support I'm throwing to you and Jayne.

xoxo

Manny said...

Good to hear it, man. It would really suck if Thor got in the middle of a MySpace friend war. But seriously, I'm glad you two are trying to work it out.

james said...

You 2 have been smooching haven't you

TK said...

I'm glad to hear it. Good luck to both of you.

Anonymous said...

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calitri said...

Good news, indeed!

I hope you crazy kids continue to work things out.

Keep up the good work.

Juju said...

Good.

Lauren said...

Best wishes and good luck. I'll be sending good vibes your way.

sparksinner said...

and Bob Dylan said, "You can't be wise and in love at the same time."

So try to keep your wits about you and my best wishes.


My favorite GBS quote: "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

girl with curious hair said...

Yay! What a delightfully happy bit of news.

Zoe said...

Yay! Best wishes to both of you.

RottweilerTOM said...

HOLY SHIT WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?


:)

Al said...

When you can get to a place where it's not WHETHER you stick together but HOW are your GOING to stick together it's a good thing.

I wish you guys luck. =)

Swami Dearest said...

Happy dancing for you both. Well, not really; I'm too lazy. But I'm thinking about it.

Nancy said...

Best damn news I've received all week. Ferhsure.

Captain Babypants said...

I can think of nothing more poignant to say than:

YAAAAAAAAY!

Uncle JR said...

Hang in there, both of you.

You'll come through this stronger for it.

I'm pulling for both of you as I know you two love each other very much.

QueBarbara said...

I've been reading your blog for some time now, and - surprise! - sometime you come off as a complete asshole. Your love for your wife, and her comments supporting you, have been one of your redeeming features.

Best of luck to the both of you.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Given your self-professed affinity with talking opening on this public (well, semi-public) forum, I'll take this brief period I have unfettered interweb access to wish my best to you both, to tell you I miss you both, and ... well, salude, mi amigo. Salude.

winged unicorn said...

and you said prayer wouldn't help! didn't hoit! i am SO happy for you both. keep working. marriage is infinite work and yes, worth it. it is. find someone you love AND get along with? a precious precious feeling. still saying prayers, lighting candles for you both, sweetheart. (LOL) be nice for someone to have a happy ending that was NOT a friendly ice cream treat! wait a sec. that's not a bad idea. you take jayne to friendly's (okay, serendipity) to celebrate while i drown myself in chocolate sauce pondering when i'll have someone new to lick it off me...

Emily said...

Don't take her to serendipity! The DOH just shut it down, if you go there she might get the wrong idea. :)

Count me as another random reader who's never met either you or Jayne and yet found myself saddened by your troubles. Your "I know this much is true" post got me choked up like an episode of BSG. I was really hoping the good news you alluded to a few weeks ago was related to this. So good luck, work hard, love each other the best you can. And all that. And fyi, my parents are both batshit crazy and could never, ever be with anyone else, but they go together like a dovetailed joint. Sometimes it works, against all logic.

Chez said...

Actually, last week's good news has to do with the manuscript. : )

Amy said...

Chez, I am a long time reader, and I really enjoy your blog. Like Emily, despite having never met you two, I have come to care about you and Jayne. Your love for each other is very evident, and I am glad that you are giving it another shot. Really glad actually. I like my snark to be broken up by the occasional bit of sweetness. It makes the snark more human.

demondoll said...

I'm glad to hear it. Best wishes to you both!

winged unicorn said...

in re serendipity: hey, i live in orlando, i can't keep up on what's on the DOH's hot list every week. i'm proud of myself for remembering that rumpelmeyer's closed a year or two ago. or maybe it was 14?

Paul said...

Great news and I'll keep my fingers crossed. Amy said it best regarding the sweetness and the snarkiness.

"You tell me you married an angel
She's made heaven out of your home
You say there couldn't be rainbows in heaven
'cause she's brought you happiness that you've never known."

mike m said...

if you're proud of being completely honest, tell your fans what the problem is. Its pretty clear that given your ages, Your wife wants children, and you don't. expectations at marriage are implied or discussed and when its time to start the race, you can't run around the hurdles.

winged unicorn said...

hmm..when i was chez's age the problem i had with my then fiancee was that HE wanted kids and i wanted to party. well we had 3 kids, wonderful girls, and guess what? he wants to be a dad 110% and i STILL want to party. i do not feel because i am not going to have any more spawn means i don't get to play with the equipment. and that is why he is THERE, i am HERE and divorce is a beautiful thing. DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE IS THE CAUSE!!! ususally it is one or both persons having their head up their ass that is the cause for marital failure. and that can be self-centeredness or an unwillingness to face truth or a combination of both or anything else.
MYOB, MIKE M....

Chez said...

Wow Mike -- you figured all that out by doing a little math eh? That's your clever deduction -- the one that's so "pretty clear" to you.

I really hope for your sake you're not a cop or a PI or anything.

In other words Kreskin, you're wrong.

Anonymous said...

Chez, you have obsessed fans.

The first thought I had after reading Mike's post was, "Actually Mike, if you've keeping up with the blog, you'd know that you're wrong about that. They both do want to start a family and..." Well I'll stop myself there, but suffice to say I remembered a whole lot more than any sane person should about a complete stranger's life.

You don't have to approve this post, but I just thought you should know. >_<

doctor robert ibach said...

from reading your blog, it's quite obvious what your problems are. clearly, you wanna play scrabble and she prefers charades.

Alice said...

happy
happy
joy
joy.

this pleases me greatly.

now when can I buy the manuscript??? :)