About the above post:
I'm writing today from my parents' home in quiet Sebring, Florida. Although it's certainly relaxing and quite literally just what the doctor ordered in reference to my health and general wellness issues, it's slightly bittersweet being here.
Four years ago, Jayne and I spent three months essentially living in this house. I began writing my manuscript here -- at this very keyboard. There are memories everywhere I look and everywhere I drive. As this is a family home, there are pictures of Jayne and myself in abundance here -- and in the home of each relative I've visited nearby. Given that Jayne is in South Africa on business right now, and we're going through uncertain times as a couple, it adds a strange sense of sadness and dread to return to a place where she and I have spent so much "family time" over the years.
It also doesn't help that earlier today, I visited my cousin and got the chance to hold her new little girl. The baby is quite simply the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, which belies the fact that, unfortunately, she's very sick. She's already had a minor stroke and may have cranial bleeding, and she's going to have to have corrective heart surgery within the next few weeks.
It reminded me just how fragile each of us is at birth. It also reminded me how much I want to have a child with Jayne -- how often we've talked about it.
It's thoughts like these which make the uncertainty I mentioned all the more painful.
I should add one more thing.
Once again, Jayne and I are going through a difficult time, but make no mistake -- and she'll tell you this if asked -- we love each other very much. I realize that I make certain parts of my private life -- our private lives -- public on this site; I do this with the understanding that there are those out there for whom a statement of marital difficulty on this site is akin to ringing the dinner bell.
Put it another way: some of my so-called friends -- not to mention hers -- have already wasted no time in "reaching out" to my wife, if you get my drift.
I won't bother calling them out by name; you know who you are.
Bottom line -- knock it the hell off.
The aforementioned most beautiful thing I've ever seen -- Chloe.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Posted by Chez at 9:25 PM