Wednesday, October 24, 2007

"And Then You Did... French Whores."


A 100% True Item, Exactly as it was Written on the Wire:

James Lipton, the host of U.S. talk show, Inside the Actors' Studio, once worked as a pimp in Paris, France.

The revered TV presenter, who has sat down with Hollywood's biggest names for in-depth chats about their life and work over the last 13 years, has revealed he once procured clients for French hookers.

He says, "This was when I was very very young, living in Paris, penniless, unable to get any kind of working permit... I had a friend who worked in what is called the Milieu, which is that world and she suggested to me one night, `Look, you'll be my mec... We would translate it perhaps... as pimp.

"We were earning our living together, this young woman and I, we made a rather good living, I must say."

Lipton reveals in his new book Inside Inside he would set up sex shows for clients of his lady friend.

He adds, "I had to accompany my clientelle to the Rue Pigalle, which is where these things occurred. And then I'd take them up to the room and I had to remain there because they were very nervous, they were young Americans for the most part... and they didn't speak French."


That's it.

I quit.

I couldn't improve this this comedically if I tried.

You have to give him credit though -- this pompous jackass can even make being a pimp sound pretentious and esoteric.

13 comments:

Calitri said...

James Lipton is my hero. I worship the man's seductive mannerisms and delicious demeanor. I celebrate the apex of perfection that is his life.

In fact, I've fashioned my life to shadow his in every way. Right now I'm escorting a group of young Asian men, they're very nervous and don't speak much English, to the barn behind the house for a horse and donkey show. We're earning a living together, that donkey and I, we're making a rather good living, I must say.

God, I hope he lives forever because with Robert Goulet on death's doorstep, he's the last role model I have left.

em said...

The best part about this story is that I can totally hear him saying that in his damn "Behind the Actors Studio" voice. I guess that helps him keep his pimp hand strong.

RottweilerTOM said...

"YOU owe me 100 Franc...and I want it NOW or I'll bury you in my brie"

Wait, a wimpy French pimp - maybe

An American pimp? Never

Dave said...

I F_cking knew it!

the sieve said...

James Lipton is awesome. Check this clip of him reading K-Fed and doing a beer bong on Conan:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/41218/detail/

Swami Dearest said...

Any man (or woman, actually) who spends THAT MUCH TIME on his (her) facial hair -- and it still looks LIKE THAT -- is living very very wrong.

Swami Dearest said...

I forgot to add "mon dieu."

girl with curious hair said...

He was just a young American with a Can-Do attitude. Now he is an inspiration to all those illegal immigrants who wonder if they can have their own TV shows some day.

Manny said...

I wonder if he knows how to say "gargle my balls" in French?

Anonymous said...

Em, you could hear him say it because he said all that when he went on Conan O'Brien to promote the book [screw the contraction: Laugh out Loud]. I don't know if there is a clip of the whole interview somewhere (maybe try the nbc site? I can't watch those eps because I'm in Asia). Anyway, a part of it can be seen here
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/10/19/icymi-you-know-its-hard-out-here-for-a-james-lipton/

Dani said...

I'm pretty sure I was a French Whore in a past life...

Anonymous said...

Son of a bitch! I've been drinking that fucker's iced tea for years and I had no idea he was a lousy pimp. Goddamn corpoarte America--they'll use anybody and anything to get us to buy product.

Lorenzo said...

"rincez mes testicules dans votre bouche"

It really is like wiping your ass with silk. Babelfish didn't have a French word for "gargle" so I had to translate "Rinse my testicles in your mouth" to French.