Monday, October 22, 2007
Albus't Your Ass
What better way to return to form than by once again taking aim at my old nemesis -- the topic which once incurred the wrath of a substantial segment of my readership: Harry Potter.
Apparently over the weekend, inexplicably wealthy hack J.K. Rowling outed one the most beloved characters from her insanely popular series of crap books. While speaking to a group of hypnotized, pint-sized acolytes right here in New York City, Rowling admitted that the fictional headmaster of the fictional Hogwart's School for Wizards from the fictional (do you get why I feel the need to keep repeating this?) series of Harry Potter and the... books, Albus Dumbledore, was gay.
There are too many potential "magic wand" jokes, so I'll just skip it.
The good news is that, thanks to this little revelation, Rowling can now bring back Dumbledore for a spin-off series that takes place in the "Deathly Hallows Ghost World."
Coming soon kiddies, look for the first book:
Albus Dumbledore and the Call-boys of Fire Island
Just think how refreshing it's going to be for your kids to use the same argument for reading the new series that you used for spending a decade of your life immersed in Pottermania:
"I came of age with Dumbledore."